Open Mic: 10,000 P.C.E.

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    Posted: 05 August 2019 at 12:57am
There’s a ghost in the machine
It dwells inside the box
There’s “coding” on the screen
Of sigils and spells
A Ouija board of keys
Opens portals into Hell
Uploading entities
Think of H.P. with a Dell
Or Apple temping Eve
“Please, take another byte”
Hissed a serpent named Steve
Who slithered through the leaf(s)
Of fiber optic trees
Corrupting ancient data
Deleting it with ease
Like “Generation Isis”
Computerized Eden
Generates a virus
(The “Genesis disease”)
Encrypted in the scripture
Encoded in a dream
The secret algorithm
The Oracle perceived
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alicewonder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 August 2019 at 2:38am
Been a while so I’m really glad to be reading something new from you, and this was different. It still had the poignant critical points/observations you deliver so effortlessly, but the flow seemed kinda experimental compared to your previous work. The tone though showed the same admirable ability of fusing modern day themes with ancient references. And every aspect felt relevant. Lots of cleverly incorporated imagery throughout, like the entire Apple/Eve section. Loved the H.P reference too, very unique and even more intriguing whilst still fitting the sci fi nuances really well. The title sort of alluded to the content which I actually appreciate cos there’s reflection between the lines, if that makes sense. Rather short but filled with content as expected. Plus I’m glad you posted at all. Thanks for sharing.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 August 2019 at 2:13pm
hard to follow alice critiques so i wont try

shit was dope dude what the fuck
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 August 2019 at 3:24am
Hey thanks for the read/feed and words of encouragement. I’m glad you two enjoyed it. Much respect.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Katalyst Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 August 2019 at 9:58am
Really well written, sick concepts and yeah, I agree, all the critiques have already been laid out. Sick piece dude
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2019 at 11:22am
Holy Shit look who the cat dragged in, hello SA good to see your alais around these
parts again, this verse here was a mixed bag of offerings, old world meets the new
world with that clever Eve/byte concept, in fact the whole verse was clever really in
that it had all that i expect to read from you,(imagery,concept and content as well as
a huge dollop of creativeness), the only chink in its armour is the fact it seemed like
a protatype in rhyme scheme/flow, (i'll stress now, not in a bad way it just caught me
off guard some on reading), enjoyable joint here SELF which still manages to bolst
my thoughts that you are one innovative mofo and still a top tier head here at LA i
actively seek out...RIPE..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Blood Eclipse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 September 2019 at 12:07am
Damn this is flawless man. I'm not good at feeding, I just gotta say something.
I like the mood of this verse, the way you so relaxed. Superb penmanship
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