Open Mic: (844)763-6205

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daydizzle89 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 26 October 2017 at 6:57pm
Its been ten years of grievance
being scared of retreating
despair and missed treatments
why you have to leave us?
the fear ive been dreaming
now a nightmare to deal with
phone to my ear, hearing Sis screaming
"Moms deceased Dizz!!!"
'bleeding with the sheets wet"
"Please, quick!!"
"she died next to me sleeping"
Im at work, it starts seeping in
tears of bereavement
working hard to conceal it
speeding in my car
weeping and shaking
hearts beating nd aching
shrieking pain and screaming
  "i hate this"
"Please Jesus, she was worth saving "
silently cold, her soul on earths vacant
on my knees, her body's stoned and lifeless
i keep calling out "mom", A tone of silence
 tears guided by the gears of crisis
firefighters here and sirens
here to pick her up by her lifeless limbs
  "god, you only appear with unrighteous shit"
"She put up a fight you bitch"
"your a fuckn spiteful prick"
i told her last night,wife been hiding twins
She cried with bliss
"Ill help you guide them kids "
Last night had me smiling (shit)
you reminded us of this blessing
Now im pleading and begging
screaming with aggression
 heaving with venom
grieving in sessions
 fists clinched, bleeding and reckless
heavy breathing with sis clutching
hugging Dizz, knees buckling
 she leaves the scene, succumbing with crushing pain
Souls flushed within
flooded aches
The final judgement
Mum, i loved ya... Dang
i hated the drugs ya taked
Its been a month of pain
30 days of me in a drunken state
(don't know how much more i can fucking take)

FUCK THIS DATE
9/28/2017
R.I.P MOM

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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2017 at 8:51pm
Dizzle.. although we spoke on the side I want to again let you know that I'm sorry for your loss. The emotional depth this piece had was amazing. I felt emotionally connected to you and I read this piece with anger-like sadness. Man, this was really, really, really impressive and hands down, no debate your best piece. Truthfully, it may be the best piece you ever write. The technical aspects of this were easily your best. My one flaw would be the "drugs ya taked" you could've gotten away with "took". Nothing can match the intensity you brought with this. I mean, I really don't know more of what to say.. quotes that are to follow:

Quote Its been ten years of grievance
being scared of retreating
despair and missed treatments
why you have to leave us? 
I thought this was a smart way to set the tone. It grabbed my attention immediately and made me understand what I was about to be shared.

Quote Im at work, it starts seeping in
tears of bereavement
working hard to conceal it
speeding in my car 
weeping and shaking
hearts beating nd aching
shrieking pain and screaming
  "i hate this"
"Please Jesus, she was worth saving "
silently cold, her soul on earths vacant 

Quote i keep calling out "mom", A tone of silence

Quote i told her last night,wife been hiding twins
She cried with bliss
"Ill help you guide them kids "

Quote Now im pleading and begging
screaming with aggression
 heaving with venom
grieving in sessions
 fists clinched, bleeding and reckless

Quote i hated the drugs ya taked
Its been a month of pain
30 days of me in a drunken state
(don't know how much more i can fucking take)
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spume corrupt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2017 at 9:32pm
Oh shit brother, I am truly feeling for you here.....
The power of expression here is overwhelming, personally I found reading through this quickly was the best way...it's like you must have scripted this without coming up for air...The whole thing felt blood raw and completely organic
Massive respect for sharing this with us I prey it has helped you in some way to deal with this harsh reality

I have never forgotten your reaction to my verse last year when I dealt with the same tragedy....The words you used helped me back then and were truly appreciated....The irony in fact is uncanny!
So let me repeat what you said back then with all the sincerity that you gave to me
"This is the kind of stuff that made me come back here and get into my writing, this makes me want to be a better person"

God bless you brotherman


RIP

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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 October 2017 at 9:53pm
Dizzle firstly i want to thank you for allowing me to gain some insight via this window
into your life here,this was truly a heart on sleeve piece that really really touched me
emotionally,i can feel your loss and i sympathise,your wtitting was that vivid it chocked
me as it reminds me of my loss also,(my loss has been 18yrs now,funny eh,your first
memory when thinking about them is always the view from when you last saw them,
which for me is not good either,they can't inject morphine into the brain,which is where
my mother had Cancer,so pain was very much present for her until death arrived,which
funny enough i was grateful for),anyways there was some fine writing here behind the
emotional aspect,and I'll go as far as to say the best of you i've seen,not just because
you struck a chord with me,but the rhyming scheme and mechanics behind it,solid
work my friend,and boy i wish death wasn't so endearing,A REAL RIPE Piece here,
tremendous effort and effect..peace.


"You need to learn how to make an exit,before you can make an entrance".
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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2017 at 1:44pm
..had to come back and 5 star this..
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DressToKill View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote DressToKill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2017 at 2:29pm
This is raw Dizz, I know the circumstances are terrible but the emotion and lyricism were bar none. She would appreciate this masterpiece due to the pure art, you poured your soul dude.
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Lord Puente View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 October 2017 at 5:01pm
my condolences broseph.

it was interesting seeing a complete different side of you than I ever have. this was raw and potent. your rhymes are always smooth but you brought an emotional aspect that was undeniable. really really nice job on this. I wish you the best. shit aint easy.
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daydizzle89 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 October 2017 at 1:06pm
Thanks for all the love my peepz. Much appreciated for the feed

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