Open Mic: A Fallen Comrade

http://www.newyorker.com/wp-/uploads/2016/09/Markowitz-Captive-Prison-Market-1200.jpg -
^^
(PIc won't post but thats the pic I used for the topic)


these bars are not pretend...they're sacred like a monastery
very honest thoughts about a fallen friend, let's call him Jerry
As he's calling me collect, I'm reading books by Machiavelli
Kicking back with a stack of 20's in hand, for commissary.

in 7th grade you were a different creature, I recall
A teen not involved with street life, and drug Czars
you are -- an obese bundle of bluff with good intentions,
Then suddenly he hung out with thugs,  and got arrested
What possessed him? Hes 18 now,  thus charged as felon
apprehended by detectives, processed, put in detention
from the pen, i heard his ripe voice, and felt his full stress,
A reflection of my own - no direction, it mirrored his whole mess
Said his lesson was learned, and that he set his time by benching'
while suggesting' he could body anyone who ever pressed him
Then he mentioned that his presence in a cage had made him reckless
and defensive, for the record, had to carve himself a weapon
cuz on one unexpected day some dude tried stepping so he decked em'
And got sliced trying to block a knife from dicing his midsection,
thus his sentence prolonged, from aggravated assault
With good behavior, maybe they'll allocate his time short
But why the fuck was my guy in there from the start?
His mother prostituted but he embodied light, not the dark
What happened was , he took the blame for his boys
Holding that thing at the scene, so he got framed for the noise,
But his crew won't snitch, they'll take the truth to the ditch...
til his bitch ass friend turned him in like a trick
 investigated, the snake folded once pressure was on
I thought the only sex who did this had breasts and wore thongs

Jerry raised his hand in class, got every question correct
during tests,  helping me pass when I was guessing instead
In the end, this is what happens, when there's no option left
impoverished,thoughts  stuck on "not hitting the lotto yet"
My hearts hollow, but for every tomorrow, I've bottled in,
days that still haunt me - bodys dropping, god awful sins.



Edited by intrikit - 16 January 2017 at 2:58am

Nice story. I liked the topic you went with. It was a bit confusing in one spot..
"His mother prostituted but he embodied light, not the dark"
I personally didnt understand it?

Overall you had a nice flow that was easy to follow. And again i enjoyed the story.

You should try the BB codes with a direct link to the page where the picture is located.

Example:

[IMG][/IMG]

Edit: failed example lol. I'll fix it for you as soon as I get home.

Works fine for me