Open Mic: Big Dreaming

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    Posted: 17 October 2020 at 6:53am
After dropping my song piece I figured I’d drop a more
Organic form of my writing process through a free verse.


Big dreamer been doing this shit since 98’
Broken pencils smell rubber burning when I erase
Knew I had to make a name kicking frees I’m feeling great
Say a hot line people wilding like I’m David Blane
But I’m hitting the asphalt nikes on ima pass y’all
I’m from Lakeland and the city gets trashed on
Y’all mad soft I know artists rapping they ass off
Like DreLee boy I got a million dollar vision
and I’m hungry
You ain’t hearing from me cooking up a hit damn boy my stomach rumbling’
3hi is the vision root for us or the wrong team
You could send your troops but we gonna send a army
I was just cruising in the Uber told the driver listen to it
He was nodding to the beat and told me boy this shit go stupid
He said boy you got a talent it’s a waste of you don’t use it
Good advice ima take it and I’ll show you I can do this
I’m the Man a King I’ma search for the crown
I remember sharing music people turning it down
Say my dreams are far fetched I should cancel it out
Focus on a job but thats a fucking miserable route
Work a 9 to 5 to get by I’ll pass the joint and get high
And reminisce in mansions with my brothers yeah thats 3hi
Never slow it up I’m always grinding for the next hit
I’m swimming in the money cause my music is outstanding
The way I’m spitting flows you think I’m from another planet
Damn it, give me respect I demand it
We in the booth and we bout to do damage
On the big screen cause we made it we planned it
So y’all keep on talking I’m writing these stanzas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote AshleyKaos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 October 2020 at 8:28am
This was good .... It reads like it would have been better if it was dropped as an audio piece. You do audio I assume... I think the begging started off strong with the rhyme sche

.. content wasn't really a contributing factor since this was just a self hype type of drop which is just as good of a read ..... I think in the middle section your rhymes got a little sloppy but you tightened up again in the closing decent drop.
Also watch out for mispellings


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Red-B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 October 2020 at 2:04am
Thank you
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 October 2020 at 10:50am
Well this was a mixed bag of offerings, sort of came off as a hype piece, but had
this vibe etched in of being a bio of sorts too, for the most part it was simple in
approach via rhyming schemes and depth, i feel you had room to expand on your
struggles to go into depth and highlight emotions within as well, but you continued
to skate the surface instead of diving down and fleshing it out, it had the feel of a
verse that was just written and posted up, "don't get me twisted", it wasn't bad overall,
i just think you missed the boat so to type to add more detail and gusto, still i'll type
again it wasn't bad, it was just samey to other pieces i've read before, which made it
lack character, enjoyed read though..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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