Forum LockedAudio Battle Archive: [BL4] DTK vs LP [Audio Title] (0-3)

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Neek View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar
Super Mario Slaughterer

Joined: 05 October 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3862

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 3-1-0
Form: LWWW
Direct Link To This Post Topic: [BL4] DTK vs LP [Audio Title] (0-3)
    Posted: 25 July 2017 at 4:18am
BLOODLINES 4 Presents:
DTK vs LP
For the Audio title

Due Date: Monday July 31st, 11:59 pm EST

Rules: House

Time Limit: 3 Minutes.


Extensions or a Blind Drop will be accommodated if Cuba is PM'd 24 hours before deadline.

Edited by Endeavor - 31 July 2017 at 7:38pm
#Bananas
Back to Top
Lord Puente View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar
Final Boss

Joined: 05 July 2016
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 1814

Audio Champ

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 4-2-0
Form: LWWWLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 July 2017 at 11:42pm
expo: his ex cheated on him, that the reason he got into body building. rest is self explanatory
Gold's Gym - "Gold's" - its a nationwide famous gym in USA
 

https://soundcloud.com/user37035975/death-to-dtk
 
 
Death to DTK
 
this guy is an embarrassment to text,
I even tried to help him out
had doom and check, by they necks,
he turned and said "let me flex these pecs",
im like "never mind, Im'a have to settle this,
don't be runnin anywhere cuz im gonna kill ya next"
you turned and told the wife "babe, im gonna lose again"
 
gonna need to make some friends friends friends friends
cuz the lord is gonna send send send send
me to hell, cuz you know, salty votes, are exposed
now you gonna die die die die
 
pussy type to battle then get mad they neglecting him
have his caged rattled, switch his side, start befriending them
gonna need a bigger boost if this fool expect to win
put the needle on the wax? naa, he injecting them
 
when you see the king walking better start respecting him
thinking you a veteran, I walked the streets of Bethlehem
 
-skit-
 
sacrificing for the love, your ex really did commit
that bitch fucked a bigga dick thinking you would benefit
started lifting in the gym, she almost thought you went legit
but spray tannin all your skin? you became more feminine
 
he dont stand a chance but in spite of this he dyin-ta-win
preppin for this show, hit the vitamix and vitamins
im tryna think, what the point of bigger arms and delts
if everytime you throw a punch, the punch is never felt
 
-skit-
 
boy youll neva stop me shoulda heeda all the warnings
I'll put your head up in a box like your off beat recordings
you aint never killed the mic with a killer flow
nothing hits, only thing that you strikes a pose
 
when im talking about trap, im, talking bout what exo use
if you talking traps you fucking talking bout a muscle group
this man going downs ever since he thought that Gold's was home
only thing he gained was an extra fucking chromosome
 
I be spittin with technique, you relyin on phisique
you be whippin out red panties, askin guys to critique
you gay and pathetic, how is battling your forte,
when your punches are in poor taste, they just vague and generic
 
i lay waste, im barbaric, im a virus thats pandemic
if you want it. come get it, digging graves, you gon' get deaded
 
 
-
 

 


Edited by Lord Puente - 30 July 2017 at 12:20am
Back to Top
DressToKill View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 27 June 2006
Location: Canada,New Brunswick
Status: Offline
Points: 6872
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 78-62-0
Form: LLWWWL
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 July 2017 at 4:51am

https://soundcloud.com/user-206308494/dtk-lp-burial-soundtrack-title-match

Intro
Yo what up pussy
You didn't think I'd forget all that shit you was talking did you?
Hahahah, you gonna see these fucking hands today

(HOOK) 
Ya better watch ya teeth when ya speak round me
Cuz when we got beef this geeks getting smacked down
No tongue and cheek when you fuck wit D
Everyone gonna see how this hoe gonna back out
Gonna put LP in his place right now
Make sure this little bitch aint gonna go act out
Never threw a single punch in his life
Im sure to make his punk ass fall down an black out

I always felt we was never meant to be boys
When I heard the cracks in ya damn feminine voice
Friction like women that pretend to be moist
Tried rockin wit the devil but repented ya choice
Bombarding your bars with flows to this chump
Your only career award to date is voter of the month
Ya got average bars LP's the bleakest imposter
I beat cuba for a title now Im completing the roster
Come to grips with the facts, ya writing aint dope
Marino's the only florida player thats nice with a post
If you quick to spit back i'll stick a knife in ya throat
Hang you from the ceiling high just to tighten the rope
You're obsessed with my body you're a faggot it's true
Playing with balls on this board cuz ya hanging with cue
Im the exterminator thats leavin this maggot abused
Exposed hidden reasons that I didn't stay wit ya crew
Dress is punchin these bitches by extorting females
Wouldn't see FW text if I forwarded emails
Tried helping him elevate he ignored the details
Hes intimidated the dude honestly seems frail
I'll murk you with a burial, a proper demise
You catch an L..P, when you get tossed to the side
He struggles with verses, finds it akward to rhyme
Im come correct on your ass with the proper design


Yo yo yo hold the fuck up, lets switch the flow up on em

Audio title shots bring dudes who ride the cock
My punches hit then the mic will drop
I bring cyphers hot enough to ignite the plot
You stink of shit worse than baby diaper rot
Follows my beefs you idolise my life a lot
First doom then check, everything he writes a fraud
You don't have to travel the world to act-a-broad
Showing us the true colours of ya wack phasad
Getting bent over so much I bet ya ass is raw
False confidence seems to be the active cause
You small chasing paper like a leprechaun
Getting striked down when a lord steps to god
You should feel embarrassed whenever you hit record
My bars tear up the scene and lift the floors
Do LA a big favour and forget the board
I'll dismember this bitch with reckless force
Ripping his throat looking like a necklace torn
I hit the scene agressive with progressive form
You scared I'll come correct? you can rest assured
Call the rest of your crew to go and prep the morgue
Fatal wound, fatal who? knows as the lamest crew
That's how I know it was specifically made for you
You wanna hang in my circle? go an claim the noose
Just a housewife that really can't take abuse
Only beat doom cuz he underestimated you
I would never so I turned this into a fatal tomb
Bombing eardrums so embrace the boom
I exposed his-panic without being a racist dude
The original comeback kid
Back to Top
Cuba View Drop Down
Senior Moderator
Senior Moderator

Legendary Assassin

Joined: 14 June 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 12327

King of LA

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 47-22-0
Form: WWWWLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 July 2017 at 9:47am
Let's go...votes!!
Back to Top
Dntplywelwitothers View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 30 November 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 172
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 July 2017 at 5:29am

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


LP: good choice on the beat. It's not too loud and doesn't over power your voice , plus it's very chill easier to ride, it works. I'm able to hear your vocals pretty clearly. Plus I'm a fan of piano beats.

Vocals: flow is decent you're riding the beat, but your mic presence is lacking in places. So is your breath control. Second verse is better, you sound more relaxed and you're working with the beat instead of waiting on it. I would like to hear a little more aggression, assertiveness, confidence. Adlibs are kinda loud, my opinion they should be more of a background than up front. Skits are entertaining

Verse: you went at him, straight up digs on his personal life, punches are solid and delivered nicely, so many to quote,
Mostly every bar was relavant and led to the punch perfectly will no fillers. (Except the part where you kept repeating the words) but I over looked that because you have so much content in the rest. Again so many to quote but I gotta give my favorite
"I'll put your head up in a box like your off beat recordings" .... lol that was sound
Trap, muscle group,extra chromosome, nothing hits...strikes a pose... damn you stayed on him like a pit on a jugular


DTK: 1st beat is ok, sounds like it's stuck on a loop. Still a pretty easy beat to ride again fan of piano... but the beat is lacking a lot. 2nd beat - not a good choice , it's already a difficult beat to ride, but it sounds like you got it playing across the room and you sound off beat, and you didn't switch your flow, you just changed the beat, it's the same rhymic cadence as the earlier one, all you did was expand the multies.

Vocals: 1st beat... hook is ok, a bit louder than your beat, I don't see how it was needed but it's decent. Already I hear better mic presence than your oponent. You start off with a clean opener. Your adlibs are loud and sound staged and poorly placed. and they are worse on the 2nd beat (cuba) uh...what? Sounds like you have a hype man with Tourette's . 1st beat your flow is solid till about the middle of the verse, you lose it for a min, then you come back. 2nd beat again decent presence, but no delivery and I can't make heads or tails of your flow...if it was a cappella it might be on point, but with the beat in the background it sounds off.

Verse: as I said before you open nicely, then you have some decent word play. But you never go at him like I feel you should have. No real personals, lots of filler. Some decent jabs but not a solid connection.Seems like your were more focused on rhyming rather than content. "Act a broad " was sound.

Overall- LP good beat, unlike your opponent you did switch up your flow and changed the rhyme scheme , you stayed on beat, had relavant content, nice punches, better delivery, more entertaining and I listened to both tracks several tymes... yours was a better listen on repeat plain and simple.

If I'm allowed to vote ... vote goes to LP

Edited by Dntplywelwitothers - 31 July 2017 at 5:37am
Back to Top
Endeavor View Drop Down
Senior Moderator
Senior Moderator
Avatar
Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle

Joined: 03 April 2009
Location: Your kitchen
Status: Offline
Points: 10000102

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 5-4-0
Form: WWLWLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 July 2017 at 7:41pm
After careful examination by all parties involved (read: senior mods) we have decided the vote has been allowed. The vote, as displayed, demonstrated knowledge from an objective perspective. 

I kindly request to not go off topic in this thread and just stick to voting. 
#Bananas

Back to Top
Rutter knows best View Drop Down
Senior Moderator
Senior Moderator
Avatar

Joined: 15 March 2014
Location: Manny hood
Status: Offline
Points: 4529
Crew: EMPIRE

Text Champ

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 44-12-0
Form: WWWWLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 August 2017 at 11:27pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


LP- As far as the vocals and performance, i thought you nailed your verse. Flow was pretty on point with your beat and you switched it up a bit as well. You had some emotion in there, which i don't care that much for either way. I worked with the delivery well though. Skits were funny and def added to atmosphere. As far as the verse i thought you did well overall. Could've been more aggressive. There we're patches where not much damage was being done but you did keep them relevant. You used the bodybuilding angle well. You made some pretty cool personal plays i.e head in a box/off beat recordings and strike a pose were real nice. The muscle group bit was done well too. The opening section could of been heavier but the impression were funny and added merit. The tanning/more feminine line was a okay same with the chromosome gold gym angle. You kept the generic stuff to a minimum and stayed focused though out.

My future feedback is keep what your doing by staying personal. Depending what the style of the battle is you don't need a hook or bits where your repeating the same word, put a punch in that space. You just need to keep adding more plays in but this is your best battle verse yet imo.

DTK- You also a had decent performance here. You got confidence in your voice and your very clear too. You did have a couple of moments where it got a little messy but i know how hard it is not to make any mistakes. Your adlibs were mixed. They sound okay for the most part but some sound a little forced. Less is more. The saying "ha ha ha"more than actually laughing for example. You sounded better over the first beat imo. Sounded more natural the second beat is less forgiving and personally i don't think having two beats helped.Not much to critique on ya performance though, only thing i'd say is don't get stuck in a rhyme scheme too long long. its really easy to do i've noticed from my own experience trynna record.
As far as the verse i'm gonna be honest i expected more from you. Marino line looked good on paper but didn't sound great. cue balls was decent, forwarding email okay. Act a broad was decent, circle/noose was okay and his panic was borderline. Alot of filler in there, and most of what i like was even generic. 

Future advice, i think when most heard you verse in our battle they though this guy could champ here. You transitioned that text battling background of making every bar count. You been going the other way since then. Your a capable performer but your strength is in your writing you need to put the focus back on the bars.

It's prob clear by now from my feedback but mvgt LP
#bananas
Back to Top
-Orion- View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran
Avatar

Joined: 08 April 2004
Location: DisturbinLondon
Status: Offline
Points: 9598
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #1
Stats: 90-4-1
Form: WWWWNW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 August 2017 at 12:13am

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


Good to see, good to hear...seems like you genuinely wanted to battle each other which is always refreshing

I do think it's kinda one-sided though - I feel like LP won it on paper and on the track.

I read them before I heard them. I think the main criticism lyrically of LP could be that it was a little one-dimensional on the bodybuilding front, but it was worked well most times it has to be said. Funny, which isn't always easy to do.

DTK definitely had a better variety of personals and was more aggressive - which I think is a good thing - both lyrically and in the delivery, whereas LP didn't give all his lines the shine they deserved in how they were delivered.

I think the main differentiation is in flow in favour of LP - it was far more consistent (pretty much on point) and ultimately made for a better track. For DTK, I think the most obvious thing I would point out on this track in particular is that shorter bars were needed and paying super close attention to syllable counts vs beats per bar is crucial. And giving yourself room to pause. That alone would have made a big difference.

Production also favoured LP (DTK second beat in particular was mixed sooo low...at least on my headphones) but I'm not making that a particularly prominent factor in the vote, though I would stress it's important to get the very basics right, as it will create an inherent bias against your stuff no matter what if it's way off/jarring in some way.

I do think, beyond that, the execution of the punchlines did also go in LP's favour because while DTK had the aggression, it didn't feel as polished as LP...a little more like a rant than a rap kind of thing. As the above voter said, you have the writing ability, we all know that, so it's about harnessing it better. Not easy to do shorter bars and have more substance but def within your capabilities based on what I've seen previously.

vOte: LP












And for the record...I read a thread about potentially shady votes earlier and I'm connecting the dots in my head and thinking it probably referred to this battle, based on the first vote and the mod post that followed it.

All I can say is, despite that, my turning up from nowhere and voting on this had nothing to do with anything or anyone.

I know Cuba and I gather Cuba knows LP and seemingly the first voter as well, but I have no idea who LP is and could give a fuck about a fatal wound so I really have zero allegiance...hell it would have been cool to see someone I know who has come up through the ranks lay the smackdown, but it wasn't to be on this occasion.

No one asked me to vote. I tried to vote on the tag battle but to be honest the barely anything made sense to me so I didn't bother (no offence tag teamers...maybe I'll try and read it again tomorrow) and so I saw this in active topics and gave it a shot. That's it.
. . . Now who said they fuckin' with me?
They just said that FUCKIN' with me
They didn't mean it
Nah . . .
Back to Top
Cuba View Drop Down
Senior Moderator
Senior Moderator

Legendary Assassin

Joined: 14 June 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 12327

King of LA

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 47-22-0
Form: WWWWLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 August 2017 at 7:05pm
And the neeeeewwwwww audio champ of the wooooooooorrrrrllllllldddddddd

LORD PUENTE

Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down