Topic ClosedSpotlight: [BL4] LA Text Title: Spume vs Rutter [0-3]

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: [BL4] LA Text Title: Spume vs Rutter [0-3]
    Posted: 12 July 2017 at 8:33pm
BLOODLINES 4 Presents:


Spume Corrupt vs Rutter Knows Best
For the Text Title

Rules

16 line max
Due Midnight Sun 16th July*
Best of 7 votes
OR
Default voting rules if above not achieved within 7 days of final verse submission

LET'S GO!!

* Contact me within 24hrs if deadline is not feasible and I will extend
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 July 2017 at 7:32pm
Spume has requested and has been granted a 48hr extension. New deadline is midnight Tuesday. 

If Spume fails to hit this deadline Spume forfeits his belt & RKB moves into main event to face winner of Roast vs winner of BR.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 July 2017 at 9:55pm
Spume requested second extension, this time 24hours, in the spirit of allowing a champ to defend his belt this has been granted. 

Spume will get no more extensions throughout Bloodlines event.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 July 2017 at 11:09pm
No fuckin fiction, LA's Russian the bitch in, just to see him getting punched to pulp
We've even seen vote fixing that put the card in corrupt hands like the Trump result 
Plus this chump so old, he'd get punch drunk an rolled just for stepping in here
Cos this ain't bout spirit or sole, it's bout me downing a 40 without necking a beer
Let's say a seasoned guy been repping for years but never being any damn good
Saying spare tool in the 1/2 is dropping a reasoned Y an you looking the Mann hood
Claim overruled! You only the fucking stooge of the Law an Cubes, shits plain to sight
They ain't having community embarrassment, LA putting amateur V pro like its Dana White 
I just explained your plight you the joker, the fall guy because your bar games weak
Obviously you couldn't thrive on LA without emotional support! Like you really RKB
Only flowing half on a beat, no respect from ya team cos they knowing it was wrong
Empire falling, Trizz dismissed, oh and Ex has Beans that are now going going gone
Now go where you belong, you won't be showing up this strong! I'm putting bombs in flight
What's on tonight? Well you wont be seeing Rut in a belt Unless you switch to a bondage site
You must want to die! Jumping on the Mike and blowing bubbles was a whack conversion
Unlike this one that got me spitting rocks to fuck up nose best like I'm Jacksons surgeon

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2017 at 12:54am
L.i Went from Manc n Kiks to Axy n Dizz..now it needs retiring
This fucker gone from putting together a "Full Circle" to a Pedophile ring
Crew used to be heavy weights, Spume leads n hyped peeps just go,
You went from having a body builder to a kid that got spiked by his coach
N You lost to Dtk too, i been finding bodies i'm ready for war
Since we both wanted to see kill burn then that's where i'll bury ya copse
U can be champ for life but bro What those two extensions about?
Ya last days played out like ya lines cos you really stretching it out
With these plays i'm in control, pulling on the puppet strings
You been shit at throwing shade since he threw you round the fucking ring
He's just a con man who loves drama but this mans got no skill
Its getting painful watching corrupt cop shots like Philando Castille 
You wrote a champ flex with now punches, dude your a joke not a threat
N The Hangmans execution? If You come out swinging its with a rope round ya neck
Even a topical guy had you ducking, Ex had you running sideways
Wouldn't even battle chuck he know I'll make this look like Child's play





Expo's
Full circle one of his om's, axy got spiked by his coach, kilburn is an area in london, lost to junior shade, the hangmans execution one of his om's, chuckie/chuck he
#bananas
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 July 2017 at 9:17pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


Scotty can go fuck himself...two votes on title matches, twice I get an "The Security Code entered did not match that displayed" error. I aint going to same extent again, so you get the short version...sorry guys. 

Spume
Felt like you didn't really have the fire in your belly for this one. Your joke punches made me laugh, but thing like him being nowhere near 40 kind of limited the impact of some for me. There were a couple of misses in there to boot. You did end on a strong note though, I thought that play was really sharp and I felt like you needed a lot more punches like that to compete with someone like RKB.

Rutts
You are a machine, probably one of the best at making every line count...quality of your filler disses is awesome. You had punches in here where I was like "the punchline was ok" but the diss in the filler was a stinger. You had by far the heaviest shots in the battle...the stretching it out one was the pinnacle, just a total body. At times I think your punches were limited in their effectiveness by the underlying quality of the refernece. For instance, Junior Shade one was great but I was like "that's a bit of a random fact turned into a punch" which is what separates it. The Hangman's execution had the same issue to an extent. 

Overall
It was clear to me that RKB just had a lot more heat to throw at Spume than Spume had to throw back...RKB has a punch-friendly approach that results in punchlines landing damage even when the reference isn't as strong. On the flipside, Spume relies a lot on humour and unless you're motivated to really take the piss out of someone you're going to struggle against an accomplished battler like RKB, which I felt was the case here. 

Vote = RKB for cleaner, harder hitting and overall more polished and complete verse.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 July 2017 at 9:30pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


Nice battle guys..

Spume..

No fuckin fiction, LA's Russian the bitch in, just to see him getting punched to pulp
We've even seen vote fixing that put the card in corrupt hands like the Trump result
Plus this chump so old, he'd get punch drunk an rolled just for stepping in here
Cos this ain't bout spirit or sole, it's bout me downing a 40 without necking a beer

(lol... Liking the humour here,,nothing to personal really except for saying he's 40,then
building a punch/personal around that, it's was on the side of a reach though, but i get
what you was implying and coupled with the fact it had humour entow helps to
overlook that fact, plus the wordplay was nice with the card/Trump bar,and spirt then
drinking a 40 all relating ,good start,as it came off with a certain bounce/vibe..)

Let's say a seasoned guy been repping for years but never being any damn good
Saying spare tool in the 1/2 is dropping a reasoned Y an you looking the Mann hood
Claim overruled! You only the fucking stooge of the Law an Cubes, shits plain to sight
They ain't having community embarrassment, LA putting amateur V pro like its Dana White

(still continuing with humour for me is bolstering your w/plays and working well,calling
him a prick via his city and linking Law/overruled via him being a senior mod was also
creative, the pro v rookie was OK nothing to hard but still added merit here,yeah i'm
liking this verse..)

I just explained your plight you the joker, the fall guy because your bar games weak
Obviously you couldn't thrive on LA without emotional support! Like you really RKB
Only flowing half on a beat, no respect from ya team cos they knowing it was wrong

(OK now forgive I rattled my grey matter about that RKB line and still couldn't fathom it
out,i I do however feel it had a purpose because it was dominant within the bar, this
section did come off as a filler really besides that mentioned line,perhaps that line pulls it altogether, but you still had a personal a such via the crew angle, that I did
kop,..)

Empire falling, Trizz dismissed, oh and Ex has Beans that are now going going gone
Now go where you belong, you won't be showing up this strong! I'm putting bombs in flight
What's on tonight? Well you wont be seeing Rut in a belt Unless you switch to a bondage site

(lol, back on track with the humour here,that last line made me smirk,the punch was
better than the personal this go round and although the w/play was basic, it worked
well because of the wit element attached good job,..)

You must want to die! Jumping on the Mike and blowing bubbles was a whack conversion
Unlike this one that got me spitting rocks to fuck up nose best like I'm Jacksons surgeon

(witty bar the play was clever also, nose/knows and Jackson's surgeon to tie it all in
was good, the personal was subtle and the punch landed too,so props on the creativity
used, again not the hardest hitting bar but the humour sure makes them felt when
thrown,good verse..)


RKB..

L.i Went from Manc n Kiks to Axy n Dizz..now it needs retiring
This fucker gone from putting together a "Full Circle" to a Pedophile ring
Crew used to be heavy weights, Spume leads n hyped peeps just go,
You went from having a body builder to a kid that got spiked by his coach

(well you came out the gate with some sprite here,your tie inns were good,heavy-
weights/Axy being spiked whilst working out, that was cool, and the circle/paedophile
ring was predictable but relevant,this bar has a personal vibe etched within but the
swipe or swing was reduced in strength via it being aimed at he's crew members rather
than Spume himself,it was spatial in direction but it still worked overall, good start..)

N You lost to Dtk too, i been finding bodies i'm ready for war
Since we both wanted to see kill burn then that's where i'll bury ya copse
U can be champ for life but bro What those two extensions about?
Ya last days played out like ya lines cos you really stretching it out

(yeah your more focused here, this was quite clever, (i used to live in Killburn it's known
as Paddy Town) it was tied in well with the lost against DTK via the wordplay, a good punch and personal i thought plus a good spell of creativity also,(and just to fuck with
you some,there's an 'r' in copes.. lol),strong bar..)

With these plays i'm in control, pulling on the puppet strings
You been shit at throwing shade since he threw you round the fucking ring
He's just a con man who loves drama but this mans got no skill
Its getting painful watching corrupt cop shots like Philando Castille

(yeah this was some nice play and tie inns on show here,the personal was strong as
too the overall punch,i liked the reference of Castile that made this stand out and up,
the set up was ok,in my opinion,it didn't quite have the same tie inns as the previous
sections but still came off as a personal with that typed..)

You wrote a champ flex with now punches, dude your a joke not a threat
N The Hangmans execution? If You come out swinging its with a rope round ya neck
Even a topical guy had you ducking, Ex had you running sideways
Wouldn't even battle chuck he know I'll make this look like Child's play

(not feeling this segment as much as the others really,and the annoying thing is I don't
know why?,as it still contained a punch and personal,shit even simile/play, I guess I
found it predictable to some extent with the hanging/Childs Play inclusions..)



Overall this was a good battle,wit/punches/personals/plays had the lot really,there
were lulls and highs to be had too,I liked both approaches within this tussle,but for
me i've got to give RKB the nod here,he was more directed with his contents,he seemed more focused on the whole,Spume the wit you displayed almost pulled it
off,but your verse came off as too breezy in aim and lustre..


Vote..RKB..peace.
"Life Is A Form Of Animated Death"....R.I.P..Poetic.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 July 2017 at 5:33pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


Whats good both,

Spumanator - First I thought you started off on the wrong foot my brotha. In a big battle like this I expect to see big ol haymakers from start to finish and this opener was a bit statementish with a decent play in it but not direct enough to be really considered a "keeper" for your opener. Second bar was dope imo, I really enjoy seeing dudes who can tie their set up's and punches together and you did that here plus the personal and wording was dope so props on that. Honestly this third bar goes over my head which really burns my ass because I don't want to count it against you because imo it's bullshit if I don't understand the reference but I really don't follow UK culture though I get the manhood reference, anyways the play was really cool but I think an expo would of helped dudes follow this. Now this fourth bar you're right back on track with the hits. People could really learn a lot from you in terms of how you tie them set up's together with your punchlines I really liked the punch on this one to, good shit. Now this 5th bar I'm assuming the play is on the previous member "Kay B" who was an emotional writer, but we come back to the point of just drop a quick expo because I don't want to have to assume what you're hitting at. If the play is "R-KB/Are KayB" then I think it's dope because I totally get that reference to his style and it fits really well. This 6th bar is more of a light jab, I get he's in Empire and you wanna poke at his crew but I would prefer if you stayed direct because none of what's happening is really RKB's fault, I get the reasoning but I would of scrapped the bar personally. 7th bar has a filler set up and an okay play, imo you could of found a more original concept rather than a bondage/belt bar but it was average none the less. Closer is supposed to be your big smash of the battle, kinda like "the bar to end all bars" and you chose to go with a filler play. I could understand if it was a really dope concept to use it earlier in the battle and stick a bigger bar in as a finisher but this bar felt really out of place compared to some of your nicer concepts. This wasn't the way I wanted you to end it as I believe this bar was probably your second weakest in the entire battle

RKB - Opener, first off this set up was dope and then you tied it together with a fucking awesome personal/punch I thought the concept was rugged and it was executed perfectly. Second bar is another carry over on the LI concept which can be good but you gotta be heavy with the execution, once again it was a nice personal but it's getting played now but still effective. Third bar is alright, I found the punch to be a little lacklustre but none the less it still came off as a jab and not a complete waste of a bar. This fourth bar is a really dope concept, reminds me closely of the haymaker in your opener but I found you didn't write this one up as well as the opener. I felt if you would of took some more time and re worded this it could of been a huge shot but due to the wording it came off as "nice concept but wording hurt the effectiveness". 5th bar is a nice little shot, I really dig the throwing shade concept but I found it also could of been worded more effectively. Ofc it holds some personal value so props on that but you need to practice finding the right wording on your concepts. 6th bar imo was another nice punch, the play was well thought out and it was delivered pretty well again so props on that. I also liked that you tied in the con-man/cop concept as it makes the bars seem more attached rather than filler set up/punch format. 7th bar seemed more like a hard jab to me, concept was decent but the punch in itself was pretty basic and I believe I've seen it used before, you need to bring bars at the end of the verse. Now for the closer, IMO this isn't your strongest bar of the battle. It was a cool punch but definitely  lacked that wow factor that I want from title match closer. 

Summary : When I look at the battle as a whole I see that both sides had their up's and downs and that consistency was an issue on both sides. I think Spume has a lot of potential to bring a better verse than what he showed here and everyone knows if you're going to beat the champ you need to clearly overtake him not just edge him. On RKB's side of the coin I believe he had the biggest bars of the battle and showed the most effort in his verse so due to that I am going to give this to RKB due to him being the better battler on this day. I just think Spume was under time constraints and wasn't able to put his full energy into this battle,

Vote Rutter
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 July 2017 at 5:39pm
RKB is up 3-0. He will be crowned champ if he obtains one more vote, or if the 26th comes around and Spume hasn't tied it up.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 July 2017 at 12:54am
Spume

Eh man,
I see about a million different ideas here but you gotta focus on a few and make them crisp and clear otherwise it comes off a bit chaotic.
Your lines were consistent in the sense that they were the same length, but they were a bit of a mouthful. You started a punchline at the beginning of a bar but by the time the actually hit comes at the end of the bar I've almost forgotten what the topic of the joke was.. manipulation of lines and some words put together better can make a much more aesthetic read, visually and verbally


RKB

Bruh do me a favour plz and put the expos at the top. This way I read it first and understand and won't have to go back re read etc and be confused first time around.

LOL "ya last days played out like ya lines cos you really stretching it out"

They were stretched out ...

Well put together, coherent verse. Good use of expos, home work goes a long ways in a battle when you may not have too much history with the opponent.

Some decent set ups and punchlines, you stayed consistent and didn't let up line to line.




MVGT RKB

To me this battle was won on the ability to articulate lines and have clean, crisp delivery of punches. RKB was able to put down a smooth verse that hit with some disses.

Spume. This would of been a more difficult choice if you had cleaned up your bars a little bit. I found a lot of potential and lost opportunity within the run-ons of some of the lines.
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