Spotlight: [BL4 ROAST] I Dizz-Approve

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
The Rap Daemon View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 05 August 2015
Location: Purgatory
Status: Offline
Points: 864

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 4-12-0
Form: LLLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Rap Daemon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: [BL4 ROAST] I Dizz-Approve
    Posted: 30 July 2017 at 1:28am
Am I too late?

Using PS4 so can't get the picture in...

Talk about anal ring rust, that's a wrestle that's beating Dizz square
Looking like a gay Ric Flair who needs to flick rare on his sick chair
You probably did your limp there with every inch itching to hit it ballin'
Even got your ready cape on and glasses to hide tears 'case you can't get the 'figure four' in!
Guess you'll even take it rape style just for someone to take ya 'crown'
Have to gladly inform I'm a loser just in case ya down
Your days are more numbered than that calendar bringing gay blood shit to Crips in war
You can't even drink manly (he's drinking spirits with a straw!)
You don't belong on this site, you should rap to Pornhub to ilicit bringing more
To a male but spitting 'cum-back's' never your way of providing Lyrical Assault. (You're more of a swallow ya pride when the shots fired kinda guy)
Back to Top
Crimson Juice View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator


Joined: 20 December 2015
Location: U.K.
Status: Offline
Points: 2171
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 4-8-0
Form: WLLLLL
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 July 2017 at 9:32am
Well this was over 10 lines by some here,but content wise this was pretty good,
you managed to come from a completely different angle than most before you
on this roast,so props there dude,plus you had some good lines here too,the
calendar/days are numbered and not being manly/drinking straw to hash out
a couple,not the hardest diss aimed at Dizzle,but certainly one of the most original
via angles which came off as a mixed bag of tricks really,you seem to go more the
clowning route than killer personals so that itself gave off a different vibe,all in all
a good shot at the roast here...peace.    
"You need to learn how to make an exit,before you can make an entrance".
Back to Top
DjFlame View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 12 October 2013
Location: NC
Status: Offline
Points: 2663

Text Rank: #16
Stats: 18-29-5
Form: NNNLLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote DjFlame Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 July 2017 at 12:59am
Quote Talk about anal ring rust, that's a wrestle that's beating Dizz square
Looking like a gay Ric Flair who needs to flick rare on his sick chair


This works one way, with the wrestling scheme, but the beauty of double entendres is they work both ways. I've never heard the phrase "anal don't rust." Just doesn't come up naturally. "Sorry I can't play 18 today, I've got a little bit of anal ring rust." I might be missing something here, but when does anyone "flick rare?" I get the letters are switched, but, once again, it doesn't work both ways. "So glad I flicked rare, I feel so much better." Also, what constitutes a "sick chair?" A chair that is dope, or a chair you sit in to throw up?

Quote You probably did your limp there with every inch itching to hit it ballin'
Even got your ready cape on and glasses to hide tears 'case you can't get the 'figure four' in


I get you're carrying the scheme. But who in God's green Earth has ever said "did your limp there?" "My date was horrible last night, he did his limp there." On a side note, what's he hoping to fuck? The calendar? Ice cubes in his drink? Also never heard a dick called a "figure four."

Quote ess you'll even take it rape style just for someone to take ya 'crown'
Have to gladly inform I'm a loser just in case ya down


Your punchline implies you're a bad writer. That's not what battlers do . What in the picture implies that he's willing to be raped? Check out Concrete's verse, I broke down one of his bars and explained why, in my opinion, bars based on subjective ammo are worse than objective ammo. All three of your punches are based on him being a small-dicked homosexual. There's no information, in this pic or otherwise, that implies Dizz is a flamer. In fact, I believe he's married.

Quote Your days are more numbered than that calendar bringing gay blood shit to Crips in war
You can't even drink manly (he's drinking spirits with a straw!)


This was better, but I don't get the gang connection to him being a lightweight drinker. Your punchline and setup must connect. It's mandatory.

Quote You don't belong on this site, you should rap to Pornhub to ilicit bringing more
To a male but spitting 'cum-back's' never your way of providing Lyrical Assault. (You're more of a swallow ya pride when the shots fired kinda guy)


Your second bar is too long. You're calling him gay again. Lyrical Assault bars are too generic and obvious. Lyrical Assault doesn't do long bar.

My suggestion is when you're going for a double entendre, you follow this pattern that I've noticed some of our best battlers use. Here's an example from Concrete's diss that I have saved:

Originally posted by CONCRETE CONCRETE wrote:

]
Yall think Day's better? hell no, he still yearn to molest tight things
with those deformed hands, he's compelled to grotesque writing!


It's important to note that this bar is not baseless. DayDizzle has written about kiddy rape before. That being said, notice the formula that he uses. He takes the more abstract play on the word "grotesque" and introduces it to the reader. Then, he takes the part that's based more in reality (nasty hands, we can see them in the pic,) and then connects them in the second half of the second bar. It's an easy to follow yet effective.
Back to Top
The Rap Daemon View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 05 August 2015
Location: Purgatory
Status: Offline
Points: 864

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 4-12-0
Form: LLLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Rap Daemon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 July 2017 at 10:49am
Thanks for the feed..

Anyway:

@Djflame - Gay people might like to flick rare lmao.. People have sick chairs just like they have sick beds. Guess I just didn't use it effectively enough and came out as a random statement, but I did rush this only noticing this roast the other day. Also, limping refers to how Ric Flair walked to the ring and figure four refers straight to his submission move, and unfortunately for me, I am a loser, my battle record proves that, but here it's not bad 'compared to this' so wanted a way to say I guess it's not bad to be a loser here for me. Lmao. Didn't connect I guess as I may have intended?

If I saw this earlier I could've taken the time with it to come up with some better angles and shots, but yeah, I'm not always here but since I saw it I thought I'd throw my name in just to be sport.
Back to Top
daydizzle89 View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 23 July 2014
Status: Offline
Points: 3406

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 5-9-0
Form: WLLLWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 July 2017 at 1:33pm
gayest roast so far. props on showing your true colors...
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down