XFade: Revolution vs The Dynasty: Calibra vs Freeda5thDawg (topical) |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Topic: Calibra vs Freeda5thDawg (topical) Posted: 19 January 2009 at 2:40pm |
First to 3 votes wins
20 lines max No crew votes No-show = loss for the crew XFade's member goes first Dynasty's member has a week from XFade's member posted Will not go to battle stats Topic: You are Obama’s security guard |
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Calibra
Standard Member Joined: 28 March 2008 Location: Newcastle, UK Status: Offline Points: 2969 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-3-1 Form: WWWWWN |
Posted: 31 January 2009 at 1:18pm |
Well, here it is... |
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
Posted: 10 February 2009 at 11:46pm |
I knew of the stress - That’d come from whom I protect- -
If I were choosing the next-President-he wouldn’t rule in the step- - But I do it for checks - Looking at his views as a hex... To this future that’s ruined from something youthful and fresh- - And yet - I’m in the shoes to take a bullet for him- - I see this fool as a sin - Feeling fear - Like the coolness of wind- - As cruel as his grin - I see the work that he’s aiming for... As dull as his skin - I see a person in Satan form- - And if it’s racist - Then take it for...the truth to the nation- - I’m forced to shoot for a face - Who’s torched the good in this patron- - I didn’t take this job for the fact that he offered and asked- - They borrowed my past honor in case a bomb has been packed- - What if tomorrow’s the last - And this armor is cracked- - The horror a dad has gone through in a month of starting this task- - He’s the star to the mass - Yet I’m the target to blast- - Hard to swallow the facts and carry on much farther for that- - Watching my back - Above and afar - A hundred at large- - One could discard - A gun and run - From the puppets we are- - What if a guard we trust with our hearts - Did it himself- - It means he felt like I felt - To kill him first and send him to hell- - ... |
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-XTC-
Standard Member Joined: 12 November 2006 Location: Brooklyn Status: Offline Points: 1533 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 19-11-4 Form: LLLLLL |
Posted: 11 February 2009 at 2:13pm |
Calibra had a good take on the topic.. i liked your outlook on it and how you went about in your story.. but you could have been more complex.. going up against freeda you should have known you would have needed to bring some raw material.. wasn't feeling your flow to much.. it was good.. but could have been so much better if you used some more multies.. the ending of it got pretty emotional which was good.. pretty nice verse over all.. Free - pretty much killed it.. flow was just liquid.. as always.. loved your outlook on the topic too.. i could probably paint the picture of your verse.. i loved it.. in all honesty free took this hands down IMO..
Vote: Free
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"See-sick'ness" in the mix cause I flow like the ocean.. ..Slick.. |
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Calibra
Standard Member Joined: 28 March 2008 Location: Newcastle, UK Status: Offline Points: 2969 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-3-1 Form: WWWWWN |
Posted: 19 February 2009 at 9:12am |
Need votes!
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-XTC-
Standard Member Joined: 12 November 2006 Location: Brooklyn Status: Offline Points: 1533 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 19-11-4 Form: LLLLLL |
Posted: 19 February 2009 at 11:20am |
this is a hot battle.. i don't understand why so many people are sleeping on this.. |
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"See-sick'ness" in the mix cause I flow like the ocean.. ..Slick.. |
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U.N.L.M.
Standard Member Joined: 19 December 2006 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1955 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-15-0 Form: WWWWWW |
Posted: 19 February 2009 at 12:20pm |
Calibra- Tight verse...Rhymes, flow, everything was on point and it was very easy to read..I definitely enjoyed it...You didn't do anything shocking with the topic but i liked the approach you took as someone who is by Obama and going into history with him...Closer was a very nice way to end it too with the way you took the verse...I really didn't find anything wrong with your verse, it was hot, but unlucky for you I thought Freeda came with a slightly better verse with the opposite outlook...
Freeda- Those last 6 lines did it for me...That was tight...I liked your outlook as someone who has to protect Obama even though your technically against him...He's the star of the mass yet i'm the target to blast--that was tight as hell....Those thoughts at the end were great...Rhymes, flow, and everything was equally as great(some great multis) and i definitely enjoyed this topic and the two verses...coolio battle... V/Freeda |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Posted: 19 February 2009 at 3:27pm |
2-0 to Freeda5thDawg. Uppin Votes. |
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Calibra
Standard Member Joined: 28 March 2008 Location: Newcastle, UK Status: Offline Points: 2969 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-3-1 Form: WWWWWN |
Posted: 22 February 2009 at 8:16am |
Are you allowed to vote Scotty?
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12327 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 22 February 2009 at 9:34am |
Tough battle to vote on, hence why I have avoided the thread till now...Topic was very vague which doesn't help...
Calibrizzle - Laid the foundations / save our nations doesn't match up as a rhyme, maybe you meant saving our nations [/pedanticism]...also, Obama isn't a Muslim so you lose points for that sir (I made same mistake before, and suppose you could say its the security guard thinking/saying that)...and I read apparently Muslims are more free to practice their faith in USA than in Europe, US society generally more accepting of different faiths (peep The Economist)...I liked what you put down a lot after that, obviously slick rhymes and on point content...until it got to the JFK part I thought you had smashed it, but I wasn't sure if you meant that he "experienced" it as a security guard or as a youth or whatever...coz if he was guarding JFK then there is no way he would be guarding Obama...nearly 40years later, and again, vest is irrelevant? JFK was shot so it would be relevant ...I guess maybe you meant like sniper rifle, or maybe you did it coz it was a sick rhyme...next two lines were nice...closer was ok, bit of a bland way to end but then the topic doesn't really give you much scope for a sick ending...so it was coolio I guess...I liked that you told the story in first person with a smooth rhyme structure and rhythm, so I can forgive you a couple of 'factual' errors/queries Free Da Fizzle Dizzle - Liked how you went first person with it as well, you tried to flip the topic in a unique way but I didn't really like it...I don't think secret service agents have those kinds of opinions as they are screened heavily and don't 'do it for cheques', and I don't think you are gonna have an agent that is racist/hates the president enough to want to kill him...think you probably overthought the topic to make it too 'clever'...you also had a factual error like Calibrizzle..."offered and asked", president doesn't chose his security detail, that was kind of in between Muslim/JFK for me...in terms of the verse you know your style is sick, intense rhyme structure with fluid flows as well as impressively descriptive content and expression..."feeling fear like the coolness of wind"..."one could discharge, a gun and run, from the puppets we are" << ridiculous The reason why it's tough to vote...because I loved Freeda's style & expression within that, but I think his take on the topic itself i.e. the 'story' behind it was weak & unrealistic...so while you can pick out a line and shake your head in disbelief at how well it was written the main aspect of the verse was missing...did he write a better "verse" in terms of style & lyrical content than Calibra, unquestionably...but it being unrealistic in its main underpinnings spoils it for me...Calibra had some cute references in there that improved his verse, and his story wasn't really as advanced as Freedas...like you can follow Freeda's story a bit more closely because of his detail...even if I think it isn't real...I'm struggling to balance the strengths and weaknesses I see here, so difficult to quantify...in terms of verse vs. verse I think Freeda wrote a better one...but loses points for the credibility, it would have been a bit easier for me if Calibra had written a verse to his full capacity, because he lost a couple of points for the muslim reference, but it wasn't crucial to his verse like the story was to Freeda's...so since I am here to pick somebody I'm going to go for Calibra, when you write a topical you need to convince me of the story and make it compelling...doesn't matter how well it is written if you don't have the first and foremost... Vote = Calibra I hate you both, you bastards
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Posted: 26 February 2009 at 4:07pm |
2-1 to Freeda - upin for the final votes
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J_NicKz
Newbie Joined: 26 February 2009 Status: Offline Points: 25 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
Posted: 27 February 2009 at 7:57pm |
CaLibra was strong on the topic but over all consistance wasnt up tp par and sum pars mad since but threw the topic off in tomany direcrection at time
Free was more consistant and was soildly on the topic with a diferent point of view but could of did sumtin else with it to make it a better post...
overall- this was a good topic and a good topical Cal i m not hatein on but if u work on ur consistance ur topical would be off the chain...i just felt overal Free took this but NOT BY MUCH
Vote Freeda
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Battles of Mine
That needs Votes http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17095 |
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Calibra
Standard Member Joined: 28 March 2008 Location: Newcastle, UK Status: Offline Points: 2969 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-3-1 Form: WWWWWN |
Posted: 28 February 2009 at 7:43am |
Dunno what people think but im happy to let Free take this, I don't think theres much chance of us getting atleast another 2 votes just to wrap it up.
What ya'll think?
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Posted: 03 March 2009 at 1:05pm |
3-1 to Free
Another win for Dynasty. |
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