Forum LockedXFade: Revolution vs The Dynasty: Calibra vs Freeda5thDawg (topical)

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Calibra vs Freeda5thDawg (topical)
    Posted: 19 January 2009 at 2:40pm
First to 3 votes wins
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Topic: You are Obama’s security guard
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2009 at 1:18pm

Well, here it is...

Rosa Parks and Martin Luther laid the foundations
So Barack Obama could lead the way to save our nation
But by some, his Presidential place is inspected
Cause he's a Muslim and here his faith is rejected
What, they think he'll blow up planes if elected?
Obama and Osama aren't even vaguely connected
Racists seem to think that this a Black invasion
So the Klan could try to plan an assassination
It's my job to protect him and i'm up for the fight
Give anything to save our history, even my life
I'm a Father of a family that I don't wanna part with
But if i'm by his side then I know i'm a target
JFK's my only experience of the death of a President
So i'm guessin' it's evident that my vest is irrelevant
But this blessin' is heaven sent, to this job I devote...
Everything... my heart, mind, body and soul
And if the shots don't kill me then all I demand is...
A bullet wound that leaves me a story to tell my grandkids!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2009 at 11:46pm
I knew of the stress - That’d come from whom I protect- -
If I were choosing the next-President-he wouldn’t rule in the step- -
But I do it for checks - Looking at his views as a hex...
To this future that’s ruined from something youthful and fresh- -
And yet - I’m in the shoes to take a bullet for him- -
I see this fool as a sin - Feeling fear - Like the coolness of wind- -
As cruel as his grin - I see the work that he’s aiming  for...
As dull as his skin - I see a person in Satan form- -
And if it’s racist - Then take it for...the truth to the nation- -
I’m forced to shoot for a face - Who’s torched the good in this patron- -
I didn’t take this job for the fact that he offered and asked- -
They borrowed my past honor in case a bomb has been packed- -
What if tomorrow’s the last - And this armor is cracked- -
The horror a dad has gone through in a month of starting this task- -
He’s the star to the mass - Yet I’m the target to blast- -
Hard to swallow the facts and carry on much farther for that- -
Watching my back - Above and afar - A hundred at large- -
One could discard - A gun and run - From the puppets we are- -
What if a guard we trust with our hearts - Did it himself- -
It means he felt like I felt - To kill him first and send him to hell- -

...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2009 at 2:13pm

Calibra had a good take on the topic.. i liked your outlook on it and how you went about in your story.. but you could have been more complex.. going up against freeda you should have known you would have needed to bring some raw material.. wasn't feeling your flow to much.. it was good.. but could have been so much better if you used some more multies.. the ending of it got pretty emotional which was good.. pretty nice verse over all..

Free - pretty much killed it.. flow was just liquid.. as always.. loved your outlook on the topic too.. i could probably paint the picture of your verse.. i loved it.. in all honesty free took this hands down IMO..
 
Vote: Free
Slick back in this shit.. time to put a hold on commotion
"See-sick'ness" in the mix cause I flow like the ocean..

..Slick..
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 February 2009 at 9:12am
Need votes!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 February 2009 at 11:20am

this is a hot battle.. i don't understand why so many people are sleeping on this..

Slick back in this shit.. time to put a hold on commotion
"See-sick'ness" in the mix cause I flow like the ocean..

..Slick..
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 February 2009 at 12:20pm
Calibra- Tight verse...Rhymes, flow, everything was on point and it was very easy to read..I definitely enjoyed it...You didn't do anything shocking with the topic but i liked the approach you took as someone who is by Obama and going into history with him...Closer was a very nice way to end it too with the way you took the verse...I really didn't find anything wrong with your verse, it was hot, but unlucky for you I thought Freeda came with a slightly better verse with the opposite outlook...

Freeda- Those last 6 lines did it for me...That was tight...I liked your outlook as someone who has to protect Obama even though your technically against him...He's the star of the mass yet i'm the target to blast--that was tight as hell....Those thoughts at the end were great...Rhymes, flow, and everything was equally as great(some great multis) and i definitely enjoyed this topic and the two verses...coolio battle...

V/Freeda




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 February 2009 at 3:27pm

2-0 to Freeda5thDawg.

Uppin Votes.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2009 at 8:16am
Are you allowed to vote Scotty?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2009 at 9:34am
Tough battle to vote on, hence why I have avoided the thread till now...Topic was very vague which doesn't help...

Calibrizzle - Laid the foundations / save our nations doesn't match up as a rhyme, maybe you meant saving our nations Wink [/pedanticism]...also, Obama isn't a Muslim so you lose points for that sir (I made same mistake before, and suppose you could say its the security guard thinking/saying that)...and I read apparently Muslims are more free to practice their faith in USA than in Europe, US society generally more accepting of different faiths (peep The Economist)...I liked what you put down a lot after that, obviously slick rhymes and on point content...until it got to the JFK part I thought you had smashed it, but I wasn't sure if you meant that he "experienced" it as a security guard or as a youth or whatever...coz if he was guarding JFK then there is no way he would be guarding Obama...nearly 40years later, and again, vest is irrelevant? JFK was shot so it would be relevant LOL...I guess maybe you meant like sniper rifle, or maybe you did it coz it was a sick rhyme...next two lines were nice...closer was ok, bit of a bland way to end but then the topic doesn't really give you much scope for a sick ending...so it was coolio I guess...I liked that you told the story in first person with a smooth rhyme structure and rhythm, so I can forgive you a couple of 'factual' errors/queries

Free Da Fizzle Dizzle - Liked how you went first person with it as well, you tried to flip the topic in a unique way but I didn't really like it...I don't think secret service agents have those kinds of opinions as they are screened heavily and don't 'do it for cheques', and I don't think you are gonna have an agent that is racist/hates the president enough to want to kill him...think you probably overthought the topic to make it too 'clever'...you also had a factual error like Calibrizzle..."offered and asked", president doesn't chose his security detail, that was kind of in between Muslim/JFK for me...in terms of the verse you know your style is sick, intense rhyme structure with fluid flows as well as impressively descriptive content and expression..."feeling fear like the coolness of wind"..."one could discharge, a gun and run, from the puppets we are" << ridiculous

The reason why it's tough to vote...because I loved Freeda's style & expression within that, but I think his take on the topic itself i.e. the 'story' behind it was weak & unrealistic...so while you can pick out a line and shake your head in disbelief at how well it was written the main aspect of the verse was missing...did he write a better "verse" in terms of style & lyrical content than Calibra, unquestionably...but it being unrealistic in its main underpinnings spoils it for me...Calibra had some cute references in there that improved his verse, and his story wasn't really as advanced as Freedas...like you can follow Freeda's story a bit more closely because of his detail...even if I think it isn't real...I'm struggling to balance the strengths and weaknesses I see here, so difficult to quantify...in terms of verse vs. verse I think Freeda wrote a better one...but loses points for the credibility, it would have been a bit easier for me if Calibra had written a verse to his full capacity, because he lost a couple of points for the muslim reference, but it wasn't crucial to his verse like the story was to Freeda's...so since I am here to pick somebody I'm going to go for Calibra, when you write a topical you need to convince me of the story and make it compelling...doesn't matter how well it is written if you don't have the first and foremost...

Vote = Calibra

I hate you both, you bastards
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 February 2009 at 4:07pm
2-1 to Freeda - upin for the final votes
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 February 2009 at 7:57pm
CaLibra was strong on the topic but over all consistance wasnt up tp par and sum pars mad since but threw the topic off in tomany direcrection at time
Free was more consistant and was soildly on the topic with a diferent point of view but could of did sumtin else with it to make it a better post...
 
overall- this was a good topic and  a good topical Cal i m not hatein on but if u work on ur consistance  ur topical would be off the chain...i just felt overal Free took this but NOT BY MUCH
 
Vote Freeda
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That needs Votes http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17095
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 February 2009 at 7:43am
Dunno what people think but im happy to let Free take this, I don't think theres much chance of us getting atleast another 2 votes just to wrap it up.
 
What ya'll think?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 March 2009 at 1:05pm
3-1 to Free

Another win for Dynasty.
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