Open Mic: Calm before the Storm Ft Sammy |
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 30 May 2017 at 3:50pm |
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Dizzle:
Heart rate at sixty Knees and feet hit the street, Allah please assist me hands nd elbows twist nd creek towards the middle east We exist like Cromwell in the city of Drogheda chanting in Arabic about the alpha nd omega Smiling nd a half way calmed with Vendetta An umbrella of bliss, I'm here to rid this world of our enemies This concert represents seeds of sin, it's their weaponry These kids pledge allegiance to this western greed Clemency of the weak isn't the remedy These kids at eleven bleed nd secrete blasphemy Capitalism has a grasp on Man City, that's the tragedy Every man and sleaze grabbing cash with speed I have these dreams, I'm rapidly becoming a savage with heat As I'm mixing this potion i believe the potential is explosive In a devoted hypnosis, my vest is interwoven with omens As the van opens, my emotions are frozen with psychosis Nobody notices It's almost at the end of the show so I set the ball in motion These kids don't know the supernova that I'm loaded with I see two kids exposing legs at the entrance Arianna Grande represents all of those in attendance I smile, vengeance in my blood while i pose for repentance Slowly pull the rope, "Allahu AKBAR" My name is Salman Abedi, My ending is your death sentence My expense of life will reach afar from Denmark tuh Texas Sammy: A songbird’s note, scribing of white picket fence An explosion - rippling the surface of the grand River Thame Sharing shrapnels. Metallic scripture, praise the God of contempt? No logic. No consent. On behalf of Allah...or so they said… You have to think, was there ever a moment of regret? Examining monsters by way of man, Do I see the flaw in this theory yet? Deep down there has to be a part of them that reflects the altruistic dimension that all of us posses I’m not a religious scholar, nor do i condemn One’s inner belief, but the dawn has yet to set Midnight blanketing the land of the Father they covet Its hard to shine light, when night has its claw around your neck Pressure inching. Quickly stripped of empathy Cloth of the man, disrobed revealing a sicker sense of freedom Next Generation seeking relief, discarding truths or lies But The black songbird still sings...Connoting unruly ties. |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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OK so Dizzle the route you took was an interesting one,due to the recent events in
Manchester City,and you touched upon it here,i also liked the view from the radicals perspective that you projected also,the thing is you ain't scared to use a little bit of shock value within your verses to highlight or make a point or to progress a story, this piece was laced with some factual content which gave it more substance on the whole,the underlining theme here is greed an excess blended with vengeance i believe,within in this piece you also had some nice syllable multi's bolstering your flow,(attendance/repentance) just to hash out one for an example,the general tempo of this verse alround was good too,I liked your choices of words along with the contents/angles,a solid an enjoyable read for me.. Sammy your offering started with sprite which continued although this verse,it was also solid in wording as well,you had a certain depth via the imagery provided here, like the metallic shrapnel,i got visions of their sharing war stories at that point,or comparing battle scars like some sort of solidarity,then the hit about acting without Allah's consent just crowned it for me also,you incorporated a reflection scenario within too,which i thought just ripe,nothing wrong with the layering effect within a verse,it just adds to a piece alround,and it's an art/gift to have in ones locker so to speak,it also came off with a poetic vibe/stance entow,this has been a real ripe read,where the pleasure was mine on reading.. Solid collab guys,plus thought provoking in the process too,you both did real well here,plus you seem to complement each other well also,ripe work,real ripe..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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boost mobile
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#Bananas
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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verizon > boost Mobile! Fight me!
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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--- Above in the quoted section are my favorite parts of the piece. I liked the intro Diz. It shined the light on what this piece was going to be about. Initially I thought that one of you was going to write as the "calm" and the other the "storm". Honestly, I'm glad it didn't come out that way. I liked how Dizzy was set the tone of being the calm nature of the terrorist mixed with the viciousness of the actions with his beliefs. Sammy you were more of a "third party thinker" if you will as you seem to be questioning the actions and trying to cope with the inhumane characteristics he displayed. Especially when you come off not to judge, but still conveying that if it smells, looks and acts a certain way, it usually is. I thought this collab was going to be one thing and ended up being another. Props to both.
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nomedic
Standard Member Joined: 11 January 2014 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 1578 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-25-0 Form: WWLLWL |
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Diz
I liked how you opened up OM the schemes were quite appealing to my eyes,big ups on tha direction you took and displaying the problem most people find with perception. When the victims think the acts of terror are a result of malice but in fact its a moral superiority the perpetrators think they are helping and you highlighted that very well Flow was this on point but I liked that opening section the most in regards to that Sammy The wording you had here just made this hella sober you chose to rather question the perpetrators my favourite lines the paradox between night and light how one beliefs could bring pain to others when the culprit believed it was righteous that was fire your flow was dope I could establish a really consistent rhythm This was a really cool colab both of you gave this piece emotion and depth I enjoyed this one good shit yol |
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