Open Mic: Check Me Out

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Who-Is-You? View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 October 2017 at 3:18am
What up the name is WhoIsYou? in case you’ve never heard of me
Okay Been away but skill still proper like my currency
Precision cuts like a doctor when it’s surgery 
rippin rappers like e’ry day I celebrate the birth of me
no courtesy, servin’m sentences for they perjury
And any fan that cosigned, convict that man of forgery
welcome to my murder spree, the rebirth of me
currently got weak rappers is in the state of an emergency
Aint ja rule, but certainly, got that murder ink
I’m the real deal, so fck what ya heard or think
If your weak ass swung at me, i wouldn’t turn or blink
Lames on’t worry me. Seen my notepad ya claim it was a sorcery
shine light on you like Sun it’s time to learn from me
Like ISIS wanna kill Christians, I just wanna murda any, 
rapper who isn’t worthy why he still livin 
got bars for any fake welcome to my lyricill prison
And when I say kill, know I mean that hypothetically.
Yes you keep your soul, aint here for your life just your dignity
As I Brilliantly paint the imagery so plain and vividly 
And call you out on every inconsistency
And every sentence be another hit from me viciously 
chip in at you mentally a different typa empathy
cos brother man, I feel you suffering but it bring a thrill to me
I don’t call you fake rapper I call you enemy
now face the penalty
You all suffer, the whole entity of your fuckin peasantry
If you know I’m talkin to you, bitch you’re already dead to me
After I fuck up your brain gonna need help medically
I told ya these lyrics are a complete weaponry
Nothin better than - God and these skills God blessing me
My match made in heaven is the melody
You’re helpless in the face of destiny
Always rappin bout your money, 
Well bitch ya just lost your equity
And now you in debt to me
got bars for any fake welcome to my lyricill prison

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Absolute Abomination View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 October 2017 at 9:43am
Cool drop. Flow was pretty consistent but a few spots where the multies stopped or were lacking and only the end syllable was clearly rhymed (the "ee" sound).

E.g.

no courtesy, servin’m sentences for they perjury
And any fan that cosigned, convict that man of forgery

Only the "forgery" rhymes in the second line. It's nice to see multiple words in the scheme but when one line has 5/6 rhymes and the second, which is longer, has only 1 it hurts the flow.

Nothing really wowed me, just a decent braggadocio piece. Which is the general way to introduce yourself.

Keep at it.
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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spume corrupt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 October 2017 at 8:40pm
It's decent man.....but decent is were it hits its ceiling......
I can see you becoming a lyrical force with more exposure and practice
I don't want you to think I'm being a big shot here, rather you recognise I offering you some constructive criticism for you to use in your endeavours to elevate..
So this is what I noticed you done that made the work seem underdeveloped.....
How many end rhymes ended with the letter Y?.....Too many!
Imagine rhyming destruction obliteration motivation determination...Constipation...trust me I'm not full off shit
That kind of rhyming would get me called out if I relied to heavily on it...,
That's what you done homie...
You feel me
Otherwise keep up brother I like a lot of what you seem to be about

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Lord Puente View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 October 2017 at 4:48pm
you got nice rhymes throughout it. nothing jaw dropping. im surprised you haven't dropped any audios yet, I thought that was what you mainly did.
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