Open Mic: **Check my skills pt1**
 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Old Flame View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 02 July 2019
Status: Offline
Points: 6
 Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Old Flame Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: **Check my skills pt1**
    Posted: 24 July 2019 at 5:21pm
I've got a bat, I'll twat your cat
cuz youre fat, what ja think of that
flappiddy flap, blah blah blah - Im back
the best to ever rap, better that your dad
 
Prepare for part 2 cuz it'll top the shit I just did
 
 
 
 
What do ya think? SmileSmileSmile 
 
Back to Top
Old Flame View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 02 July 2019
Status: Offline
Points: 6
 Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Old Flame Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 July 2019 at 5:34pm
No feedback? Was it the "flappiddy flap" part? Unhappy
Back to Top
Absolute Abomination View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 15 May 2015
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 515

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 3-3-0
Form: LLWW 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 July 2019 at 12:18pm
i know its satire but...fuck
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
Back to Top
Crimson Juice View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar

Joined: 20 December 2015
Location: U.K.
Status: Offline
Points: 3019
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 6-11-0
Form: LLLWLW 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 July 2019 at 7:48pm
OK, i get its done in a tongue in cheek vibe, but as it stands it's awfully basic,it
just doesn't have any appeal or stand out wording/lines going for it, and in truth
it's kind of flat on reading also, and if your serious about doing a part 2, please if
anything give it a pulse by injecting a little depth, either through similies or meta's
or even assonance..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
Back to Top
D.Von Doom View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 18 June 2014
Status: Offline
Points: 1497

Audio Rank: #1
Stats: 15-4-0
Form: WWWWWL 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote D.Von Doom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 July 2019 at 1:18am
Crimson ban this trash
I can only fall off in space...
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down