Open Mic: **Check my skills pt1**

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Old Flame View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 July 2019 at 5:21pm
I've got a bat, I'll twat your cat
cuz youre fat, what ja think of that
flappiddy flap, blah blah blah - Im back
the best to ever rap, better that your dad
 
Prepare for part 2 cuz it'll top the shit I just did
 
 
 
 
What do ya think? SmileSmileSmile 
 
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Old Flame View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Old Flame Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 July 2019 at 5:34pm
No feedback? Was it the "flappiddy flap" part? Unhappy
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Absolute Abomination View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 July 2019 at 12:18pm
i know its satire but...fuck
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 July 2019 at 7:48pm
OK, i get its done in a tongue in cheek vibe, but as it stands it's awfully basic,it
just doesn't have any appeal or stand out wording/lines going for it, and in truth
it's kind of flat on reading also, and if your serious about doing a part 2, please if
anything give it a pulse by injecting a little depth, either through similies or meta's
or even assonance..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote D.Von Doom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 July 2019 at 1:18am
Crimson ban this trash
I can only fall off in space...
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