Open Mic: Chicken Scratch |
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 21 March 2018 at 8:51pm |
My Cinderella danced barefoot
over broken glass As Humpty Dumpty seeped eggnog from his opened head, while the frog turned prince was asleep When he croaked in bed I hope, he at least, found peace with his troubled past. "... see, there's a Beauty in the Beast, he just needs a bath", Said the Big Bad Wolf to his ethics class. Look Captin Hook sent a message in a bottle that I never read and now it's lost, boy .. ala Peter Pan. Yo, I'm a snobbish alcoholic I like my mascoto red and huffing oxygen is carci°no°genic when you're Aquaman Nah ... I'm really just a comic that forgot to laugh and that's a lazy entendre for my fans and Stans. GOTdamn, man, I think I need a Hand and a standing ovation for my favorite band. Saw John Snow getting toasty in the South of France while I stood upon the Mountain top and surveyed the land. It's crazy, fam ... How everyone's a critic of my dope, guess I'm Breaking Bad ... I'm so HBO when I post, -- that's no basic plan ... I let the drac-o blow like Sopranos at tomato stands I'm Marlon Brando with a 'fro and a Native tan "I sent a Wire to ya folks ... it's like 80 grand and told Proposition Joe what he didn't know about the Method Man" I roll with Marlo smokin Marlboros in an ambulance and keep a bando full of bones for the voodoo jam! ... my hoodoo can ... make u hoola hoop through A ring of fire in the Zulu sands An ancient empire that was too adavanced For modern-day humans and their stupid Klans "Excuse me, Pam. I think I use to be your lover in another life and Brutha Man was the husband of your uncle's blood cousin's wife" So fuck yo baggage I got luggage and my shit is twice the life time supply they allow on flights I lug this ball and chain like a symbol of my pride a simple sigil meant to visualize that I ain't livin' right! ... and so I type. Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 21 March 2018 at 9:09pm |
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3162 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Brother this is prolly a my bad
But I am digging your nonsense This was like a kaleidoscope of crap no doubt But to my muddled mind it was on point I loved the myriad of characters and enjoyed mulling over there musings Mess up magic right here mainly my main Keep on @ LA NOT DEAD YET |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Damn where do i start with the feed?,this miss mass of popular characters
was ripe via its creativity,the subtle metaphors/smilies was also fresh and present,Humpty Dumpty/Eggnog to hash out just 1 here,the other detail i noticed is as the verse progressed,the characters used became darker,so did the subject matter too,what started out as tongue in cheek,became in essence a mirror reflection of a mans life,a person carrying his own weight of problems,who doesn't need everyone else's type vibe is what i'm getting on reading,plus it was all cleverly done and used i thought overall,a well constructed verse which i found really entertaining,the concept was "as fresh as a live cow being brought home,to supply the beef for dinner",ripe real ripe...peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Slip
Standard Member Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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Keep typing keep typing this was bonkers from top to bottom was the highlight
This part tho "Excuse me, Pam. I think I use to be your lover in another life and Brutha Man was the husband of your uncle's blood cousin's wife" So fuck yo baggage I got luggage and my shit is twice the life time supply they allow on flights All out just having fun with it bro #L.A NOT DEAD YET |
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See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego
inner demon violent beast so warn the mother fucking people |
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3162 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Crimson up in this feed fest
You nailed it with that vision of the characters growing more dark as the piece progressed I call that the Juiced up Viision Good looking on that extra dimension to the work Self Activate going active even on the garbages Damn This shit inspiring homie I just gonna let the pen on the morrow &LA NOT DEAD YET |
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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haha i would imagine this is very therapeutic for you. after weeks of consistent high level outputs (props to you and Rude for the insane quality and quantity!), this must have been a breath of fresh air for you as you seem to just let the pen write itself without worrying about plots and details. as is, this is dope as fuck bro. the stream of thought became a torrential downpour of imagery, allusions, wit, humor. like i told u in the chat, this is dope as fuck.
"... see, there's a Beauty in the Beast, he just needs a bath", Said the Big Bad Wolf to his ethics class. " irony pulled off perfectly. dope my dude.
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Well well.... if your goal was to have my attention you have succeeded in that mister Activate.
Salutation. I'll try to break this down later. |
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#Bananas
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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^^ that part was easiest the highlight of the entire piece. The off-the-wall, outta left field writing, really got to me. I related somehow. Shit was just nice. I had a vision of a video for this joint. You spitting and the words bouncing off the walls tryna get a concept to stick not realizing they all were. The one thing I surprisingly struggled with was the flow. I was stumbling a lot, which I have never done in the past with you. Could be me?
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Thanks for all the love people. I'm stoked you all enjoyed it. I'm humbled.
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Yooo, that visual treatment is crazy asf, fam. If I had a way to make it happen rn, trust that I would. As for the flow. I didn't write this to a beat. I was just keystyling off the dome piece. However, the rhythm is there, it's staccato, but there. I think lol. Check it. https://soundcloud.com/user-695019110/chicken-scratch-on-a-dennys-1 |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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You that audio made this shit to double the amount of fire!
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#Bananas
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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So glad you posted that audio... I see it now. I put way too much emphasis on the ... and the ,
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Ahhh. Gotcha. I can see that.
Correction: "Bruh Man". |
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