Open Mic: Chicken Scratch

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    Posted: 21 March 2018 at 8:51pm
My Cinderella danced barefoot
over broken glass
As Humpty Dumpty seeped eggnog
from his opened head,
while the frog turned prince was asleep
When he croaked in bed
I hope, he at least, found peace
with his troubled past.
"... see, there's a Beauty in the Beast,
he just needs a bath",
Said the Big Bad Wolf
to his ethics class.
Look
Captin Hook sent a message in a bottle
that I never read
and now it's lost, boy
.. ala Peter Pan.
Yo, I'm a snobbish alcoholic
I like my mascoto red
and huffing oxygen
is carci°no°genic
when you're Aquaman
Nah ...
I'm really just a comic
that forgot to laugh
and that's a lazy entendre
for my fans and Stans.
GOTdamn, man,
I think I need a Hand
and a standing ovation
for my favorite band.
Saw John Snow getting toasty
in the South of France
while I stood upon the Mountain top
and surveyed the land.
It's crazy, fam ...
How everyone's a critic of my dope,
guess I'm Breaking Bad ...
I'm so HBO when I post,
-- that's no basic plan ...
I let the drac-o blow
like Sopranos
at tomato stands
I'm Marlon Brando with a 'fro
and a Native tan
"I sent a Wire to ya folks
... it's like 80 grand
and told Proposition Joe
what he didn't know
about the Method Man"
I roll with Marlo smokin Marlboros
in an ambulance
and keep a bando full of bones
for the voodoo jam!
... my hoodoo can ...
make u hoola hoop through
A ring of fire in the Zulu sands
An ancient empire that was too adavanced
For modern-day humans
and their stupid Klans
"Excuse me, Pam.
I think I use to be your lover
in another life
and Brutha Man was the husband
of your uncle's blood cousin's wife"
So fuck yo baggage
I got luggage
and my shit is twice
the life time supply
they allow on flights
I lug this ball and chain
like a symbol of my pride
a simple sigil
meant to visualize
that I ain't livin' right!

... and so I type.

Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 21 March 2018 at 9:09pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2018 at 9:39pm
Brother this is prolly a my bad
But I am digging your nonsense
This was like a kaleidoscope of crap no doubt
But to my muddled mind it was on point
I loved the myriad of characters and enjoyed mulling over there musings
Mess up magic right here mainly my main
Keep on @ LA NOT DEAD YET

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2018 at 11:05pm
Damn where do i start with the feed?,this miss mass of popular characters
was ripe via its creativity,the subtle metaphors/smilies was also fresh and
present,Humpty Dumpty/Eggnog to hash out just 1 here,the other detail i
noticed is as the verse progressed,the characters used became darker,so
did the subject matter too,what started out as tongue in cheek,became in
essence a mirror reflection of a mans life,a person carrying his own weight
of problems,who doesn't need everyone else's type vibe is what i'm getting
on reading,plus it was all cleverly done and used i thought overall,a well
constructed verse which i found really entertaining,the concept was "as
fresh as a live cow being brought home,to supply the beef for dinner",ripe
real ripe...peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Slip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 12:10am
Keep typing keep typing this was bonkers from top to bottom was the highlight

This part tho
"Excuse me, Pam. 
I think I use to be your lover
in another life 
and Brutha Man was the husband 
of your uncle's blood cousin's wife"
So fuck yo baggage
I got luggage
and my shit is twice
the life time supply 
they allow on flights

All out just having fun with it bro
#L.A NOT DEAD YET
See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego
inner demon violent beast so
warn the mother fucking people
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 12:19am
Crimson up in this feed fest
You nailed it with that vision of the characters growing more dark as the piece progressed
I call that the Juiced up Viision
Good looking on that extra dimension to the work Self
Activate going active even on the garbages
Damn
This shit inspiring homie
I just gonna let the pen on the morrow
&LA NOT DEAD YET

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 2:49am
haha i would imagine this is very therapeutic for you. after weeks of consistent high level outputs (props to you and Rude for the insane quality and quantity!), this must have been a breath of fresh air for you as you seem to just let the pen write itself without worrying about plots and details. as is, this is dope as fuck bro. the stream of thought became a torrential downpour of imagery, allusions, wit, humor. like i told u in the chat, this is dope as fuck.

"... see, there's a Beauty in the Beast, 
he just needs a bath",
Said the Big Bad Wolf 
to his ethics class. "

irony pulled off perfectly. dope my dude. 


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Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Endeavor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 2:48pm
Well well.... if your goal was to have my attention you have succeeded in that mister Activate.

Salutation. I'll try to break this down later.
#Bananas

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 6:58pm
Quote .. ala Peter Pan. 
Yo, I'm a snobbish alcoholic
I like my mascoto red 
and huffing oxygen
is carci°no°genic 
when you're Aquaman
Nah ...
I'm really just a comic 
that forgot to laugh 
and that's a lazy entendre 
for my fans and Stans. 
GOTdamn, man, 
I think I need a Hand 
and a standing ovation
for my favorite band. 
Saw John Snow getting toasty 
in the South of France 
while I stood upon the Mountain top 
and surveyed the land. 
It's crazy, fam ... 
How everyone's a critic of my dope,
guess I'm Breaking Bad ... 
I'm so HBO when I post, 
-- that's no basic plan ...
I let the drac-o blow
like Sopranos
at tomato stands
I'm Marlon Brando with a 'fro 
and a Native tan
"I sent a Wire to ya folks
... it's like 80 grand
and told Proposition Joe 
what he didn't know
about the Method Man"
I roll with Marlo smokin Marlboros
in an ambulance 
and keep a bando full of bones
for the voodoo jam!
... my hoodoo can ...
make u hoola hoop through
A ring of fire in the Zulu sands
An ancient empire that was too adavanced 

^^ that part was easiest the highlight of the entire piece. The off-the-wall, outta left field writing, really got to me. I related somehow. Shit was just nice. I had a vision of a video for this joint. You spitting and the words bouncing off the walls tryna get a concept to stick not realizing they all were. The one thing I surprisingly struggled with was the flow. I was stumbling a lot, which I have never done in the past with you. Could be me? 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 9:23pm
Thanks for all the love people. I'm stoked you all enjoyed it. I'm humbled.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2018 at 9:29pm
Originally posted by iLL ScriptureZ iLL ScriptureZ wrote:


^^ that part was easiest the highlight of the entire piece. The off-the-wall, outta left field writing, really got to me. I related somehow. Shit was just nice. I had a vision of a video for this joint. You spitting and the words bouncing off the walls tryna get a concept to stick not realizing they all were. The one thing I surprisingly struggled with was the flow. I was stumbling a lot, which I have never done in the past with you. Could be me? 


Yooo, that visual treatment is crazy asf, fam. If I had a way to make it happen rn, trust that I would.

As for the flow. I didn't write this to a beat. I was just keystyling off the dome piece. However, the rhythm is there, it's staccato, but there. I think lol.

Check it.


https://soundcloud.com/user-695019110/chicken-scratch-on-a-dennys-1
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Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Endeavor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2018 at 7:11am
You that audio made this shit to double the amount of fire!
#Bananas

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2018 at 1:11pm
So glad you posted that audio... I see it now. I put way too much emphasis on the ... and the ,
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2018 at 2:40pm
Ahhh. Gotcha. I can see that.

Correction: "Bruh Man".
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