Open Mic: Coin Purse

Yeah i liked it,it came of as basic in parts that's not a bad thing, as it allowed you
to keep your flow going,what this piece lacked really is details,you also talk of high
prices and ppl suffering at the hands of the rich,but why are they suffering?,you also
mention the average person going to church,more could be achieved if those hands
were put to working away out to the problem rather than together in prayer,this was
a nice piece on the whole,it just seems to skim the surface of the pool of concepts
that were begging to be used,a little depth goes along way,it also adds a layering
effect which makes a piece stand up and out at a reader,you had a good concept
with the social unrest,next time do all you can to (pardon the pun),capitalise on it
peace.

Basic lyrically but the message is strong. I feel you have a good potential when it cones to writing because you're already showing signs of a topical oriented thinker by tackling a topic. I would say you and Crim are pretty comparable content wise and could push each other to elevate further as a writer. I'd start working on multies and structuring your bars better as there is a lot more you could do with word placement.

Stay up
.