Text Battle Archive: [Crewsades] Trizzy Tre vs Zinaii (3-0)

Trizzy Tre! Or should I say Kizzy Kyle? Covering your tracks with your allegations
career's been in park for so damn long; so he's desperate for some validation!

Your style is basic! you lead the resistance? Well you can be a martyr for them
Empire's more like The 'Suicide Squad"; cause these Joker's hardly c'win!

You he made six figures a year but lied about it like your cash sitting right
The way you "lied about the figure" it felt like you catfished the site!

The way you act on L.A. is funny. It's like you think you're 2pac or bolder
And this who runs empire? This unstable leader? Shit who dropped the soda?

Hand always filled with a can or fifth; You aint a real man you bitch!
risking lives after a "pregame". That shows me you don't "stand" for shit!

Only self hype pieces; This one trick pony cant even deny he's garbage
You named that OM you got the keys? Well hence those drunk driving charges!

Drunk bitch! you on my dick like your slut wife; no need to retract statements
I tried to find the pic you posted of that ugly bitch. But she was to deep in the backpages!

You shadowboxed my account when i left. Loser this beef dont concern me
I waited till saturday to drop cuz you was dead on arrival. This is a weekend at bernie's

But props for being consistent in L.A. And real life. So theres really no reason to burn me
You did bloodlines because we needed a tourney. But when you were driving drunk you needed attorney!

Why didn't you want to do the picture battle Kyle? Cuz he know's I'da fucking caught a body
Your own insecurities got you hiding behind Jada...like Will Smith ducking paparazzi!

You admitted ducking Orion; Didn't you call him out? Damn he flamed you and you dipped
He spanked your ass! And You was scared of orions belt; Like you believe aliens exist!

My resume's killing yours! i dont have to act tough just to prove that im nice
You can win this fucking battle because guess what? Your losing at LIFE.




Pregame is drinking before a party; colin kaepernick doesn't stand up for the national anthem during pregame
Everything else should be self explanatory

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

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This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

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So I'm going to weigh in here, and if it's problematic just cast my vote aside.

Zin: Bar 1: I felt as though the setup and punchline weren't overly connected here. The parking validation bit was humorous as a play. Not a heavy shot, but an ok opener.


Bar 2: Saw more of a connection here between the setup and punch, but didn't feel that the punch hard...unless I missed something of course.


Bar 3: So this was a complete bar and reasonably personal (to the best of my knowledge anyhow) I felt that the setup finish was sorta pushed to fit the scheme, but the punchline arrives clean. I suppose you could have made it more direct by removing the "felt" but no biggie.


Bar 4 & 5: Thought this setup was promising, but the punchline fizzled (no pun) and seemed to rely on the following Bar which is ok so I'm grouping them....but that only carries through and switches streams...doesn't really arrived at a hit that unifies. It's pretty hard to sell me on the Kaepernick punch (which relies a bit on the expo) when it wasn't really set up too much. I think this could have been a really solid shot if worked on some more.


Bar 6: ok here's another complete bar from top to bottom. Decent merging (no pun) of personals relevant both off and on site. It's a nice change to see an OM verse not merely referenced by name, but also in substance. I can't speak to its accuracy, but it's a reasonably solid shot.


Bar 7: So here I don't see why it transitions to him being on your dick. I don't see a conceptual tie. The slut wife thing, well ok...but that is kinda childish imo...and her being buried in the back pages...kinda played ...as recently as Kotd world dom 6 charron vs bonnie godiva.. So it is clever, but does it hit? I feel as though some of your setups are often jumbled instead of having clear purpose.

Bar 8: back on track here...funny punch that coulda been revised a bit...but not bad

Bar 9: so thematically this seems out of place. ..why not back with bar 6..setup here doesn't make sense (aside from preserving the end rhyme)...but the punch wasnt a bad play...a bit bulky tho

bar 10: complete bar...setup was okay...but the punch suggested weakness of character while being pretty funny. decent rhyme too.

bar 11 had a lot of potential content wise but just wasn't framed well enough to be a telling blow...the pieces were all there, they just weren't organized into a coherent and vicious shot...i'm suspecting you may have been rushing through this.

final shot: so this had to be written well before some of the rest...it's crisp and clear.   real talk type of stuff...i prolly woulda qualified it with "even if you win..." so as to smirk at possible defeat.

ok...so overall this felt like it had been written in a number of different sessions, in diff notebooks, shuffled, and then rushed in the refining stage. i know you wanted the longer line count...but you mighta been better served by 6 bars.


k it's on tre

frig...i'm just going to write impressions cuz the previous breakdown is hard to swype...

bar 1 and 2...great intro that's clearly unified in concept and purpose.

bar 3 and 4 on the other hand fell short for me in that, while clever in concept, they weren't executed in a manner that seemed heavy.

bar 5 was straight fire and bar 6's setup was about to be. .but the punchline's beginning came off wrong so it landed flat

bar 7 brought that fire right back. OCD!
bar 8 and 9...in both cases i was like, "uh oh..let's see how this plays out" but you managed to hold your line while on topically shaky ground...i just mean that with these iconic references there isn't a lot of room for error..and failure in the face of legends can sunk an entire battle IMO...solid.

10 and 11...Really liked the hysterectomy play but it felt like a stretch despite working in the overall context. bar 11 returned to a theme alresdy touched upon

the final shot had that epic screwface moment of "barz!"...
i know the sin/Syn angle prolly tired as all hell 😉 but even a tired idea can be refreshed...

so finally some closure to an apparently long overdue tilt.

i dont think this one was particularly debatable...i had Tre outlanding Zin 7-4
but when accounting for the power of those punches..that margin widens considerably.   i think Zin prolly coulda benefited from some tightening and restructuring...Tre's misses were mostly issues in execution.

props to both
vote (should it count) to Tre

Edited by Droidian - 09 September 2016 at 2:38am