Open Mic: Exo Inspired - "Truth or Bordem" 2.0 |
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iLL ScriptureZ 
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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 Topic: Exo Inspired - "Truth or Bordem" 2.0Posted: 12 June 2017 at 7:30pm |
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Half of the kingdom rests, half of it is ruined Walking asleep but claim masses disillusioned …If it’s accurate then prove it… Make sure to have revenue actually included Whack sold separately, ya act has been polluted False feedback fooling the “dramatically improving” Thoughts from our peers who passionately approve this “Son try unique delivery every now & then” Claiming it is an acronym for student Sick of the narrative at my maximum with stupid These views are sacrilege, a laxative to loosen These constipated assholes… “natural G’s of music” Stand for revolution the truest haven’t hung the noose yet Every champions reign has been emphatically disputed The body of work has an anatomy that’s inhuman Agony overwhelming the actively producing It’s not what is absent but our tapestry’s diluted Real recognize real, feel the gravity it pulls with It’s insanity to see we’re practically consumed By our vanity that’s validly unproven Edited by iLL ScriptureZ - 12 June 2017 at 7:41pm |
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Sammy
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 14 June 2017 at 5:13pm |
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dope! be back to give proper feed after work, iLL
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Sammy
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Posted: 15 June 2017 at 2:56am |
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dude u and self write so similarly its scary. and i do't mean similarly in a bad way either. the flow was effortless and complex, the wording was high level and imagery really attacked from all angle.
Real recognize real, feel the gravity it pulls with
vicious! |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 15 June 2017 at 6:42pm |
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'preciate that look Sammy
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 16 June 2017 at 1:49pm |
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This was dope Ill. I love your rhyme format on it, and you had a few golden rhymes such as the one Sammy mentioned and I liked the constipated assholes one too. Just dope over all man. I will say your collab you did recently was even better, but regardless this was dope as a stand alone piece.
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 16 June 2017 at 9:19pm |
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I'm on the bus home, just chilling looking for a little entertainment to kill ten minutes, not even thinking about feedback
It's a short trip and I'm tired from grafting............. Wow Scriptures; your pen game is Second to none right now Thought provoking wisdom in the wording and effortless control of the rhyming and flow Very enjoyable read Thanks Had to feed this |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 16 June 2017 at 9:32pm |
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LP & Spume.. much appreciated
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Exoduzt
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NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 17 June 2017 at 1:55am |
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Yo Ill! Sorry it took so long for a reply. I'm glad you got inspired from my last drop..thats pretty dope!. Well fucking damn. Not only did this completely outshine what I wrote but you really came with some truth that LA should relate to. Mine was more of a personal thing but it doesn't matter. You followed suite with that short bar and just fucking murdered this. The flow was top notch from beginning to end. As far as I'm concerned your def one of my favorites on the site right now. If not the number 1. When we gonna collab for a topical?
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 17 June 2017 at 2:09am |
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Hey man no worries. I appreciate the comments I'm trying to stay on y'all level. Peep your PM
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 17 June 2017 at 9:04am |
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Very impressive with the pen here,and i also agree with Sammy,you and SELF are
similar,the imagery here was solid,it provoked actual flashes in my head on reading, your rhyme scheme was pacey and absorbing,the contents were solid and engaging also,i'd love to read a collab with you SELF the transition between you both would be mind blowing,shit with that typed you and Exo would be cool too,so i'll watch this space,plus i liked the use of multi syllables here,(included/polluted) just to hash out 1 of many,excellent work here and a solid take on Exo's idea,keep the nib rub moving, ripe work..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 18 June 2017 at 3:05am |
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Crim always coming through with the feed, thanks
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nomedic
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Posted: 21 June 2017 at 9:26pm |
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Six syllables and you did damage with them
The flow here was so nice I read this like three times with a different tempo for all em and in all instances it sounded really nice but as for content it seemed like a key but it takes Nada away from the craftsmanship you displayed some fluidity with the entire piece Dope stuff |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 22 June 2017 at 2:01pm |
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Thanks Meds
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Posted: 01 July 2017 at 4:42pm |
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Bro, the first time I read this I don't think I truly appreciated it for what it was. The flow is so top heavy it distracted me from the content, however, that was my mistake, not yours. Because after giving it a second read through I now find myself extremely impressed by this verse. I mean, not only is the flow beautifully woven and strung together, but more importantly, each line has something valid and engaging to say. In fact, this entire verse was jammed packed to the brim with pure content of conversation worthy substance. Your ability to articulate your thoughts in lyrical form is extrodinary and I don't say that with even an ounce of exaggeration. Overall, this joint is just as dope as the original that inspired it. It's a nutritional flex that offers much food for thought and I think after digesting both your and Exo's piece I'm inspired myself to write something similar. Good ish, iLL. Peace...
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