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SwordedStylez 
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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 Topic: ForgottenPosted: 30 March 2015 at 10:40pm |
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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CHAIN
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 30 March 2015 at 10:57pm |
 @ the throat cut line @ the non stop flow |
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Titu
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Joined: 04 July 2013 Location: 🔥 Hell 🔥 Status: Offline Points: 4522 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-19-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 10:41am |
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Font made me read it 10X slower.. Lol
The verse tho, flow was on next level. It was your typical approach towards multis. Very impressive. And if im not wrong, you love these rhymeschemes, those that allow you to put extra pressure in the end (to make them hit hard with the last kick/ snare of the beat loop?) i dont know how else to say it. Im a lay man afterall lol There were some DOPE bars in there. Pain and horror left/nobbed ya head.. Those were dope imo. Kind of shit i can relate to tbh. Throat cut line was 🔥. The very next two bars after throat cut, dope as fuck. Last bar had a nice idea.. Tho, i thought that you could've had closed it a bit better in terms of rhymings. "wanna be" and "copy me" was a bit forced for me. Maybe its the accent but thats how i felt. Good shit bro 👍 |
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Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 10:49am |
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Listen to the track on Haze's soundcloud, there's nothing wrong with that end rhyme ;) Good looks on the feed
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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nomedic
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Joined: 11 January 2014 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 1578 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-25-0 Form: WWLLWL |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 1:02pm |
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ooh this was hott those internals were really nice its been a while since i read your shit and yeath the fon t made me read it slower but that took nothing away from this piece this was mad nice the content the intrapersonal approach was pretty tight the flow though takes the crown here
this was some solid work good work man |
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daydizzle89
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 1:41pm |
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the way you transition your end rhymes to the next bar with multi internals is so slick. It makes flow like grease on some plastic type shit. The vocabulary was used well here. You didn't over do it and the wording hit nicely. I also gotta say you were on topic like it was chained to your hips. The content was awesome. This is that grime. type shit I like to read brothaman. The only issue I had was the 4th bar. That didn't roll off my tongue smoothly. It's poll my dialect so it felt forced as fuck. Anywho, this was nice man. Gigggity
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 1:43pm |
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Yeah that 4th bar is a slant, prolly wouldn't work in your accent actually. It sounds dope on the track though haha. Good looks.
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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AxyRocker
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Joined: 16 November 2014 Status: Offline Points: 1297 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-40-1 Form: LLLLWL |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 1:57pm |
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Eh?? was there some problem with 4th bar?? Tbh it was fine for my accent.. This was some fun stuff, your last bar had me die laughing, You had pretty decent flow throughout but that font irritated my eyes so much. Next time you use this font , make sure you are making an audio too..!! lol
But overall some decent stuff here just wanted to see your narrating or story-telling ability in your verse a bit more cuz I think that would help people learn a bit more from your verse ... Just my opinion
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 1:57pm |
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The audio was dropped last year Axy....
And I'm not a story-teller tbh, does literally nothing for me as a musician. I'm about expressing myself tbh, I don't really dig writing in the abstract.
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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Rutter knows best
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Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 2:14pm |
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First off and least inportant, that font's aa headache.
Moving on, this flowed ridiculously, u can tell it worked out well as an audio. It had decent content, and a a coupe more stand out lines like cut throats/nosebleeds. Overall this was all well put together and crafted well. Would like to read maybe some of your more out there stuff sometime. U can tell this kinda stuff is within your comfort zone. Propz.
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#bananas
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SwordedStylez
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Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
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Posted: 31 March 2015 at 2:27pm |
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TO be honest "out there" is more for open mics/text. I just post my lyrics. Maybe someone will send me a collabo idea sometime and you'll get to see it, tbh it's hard enough making music you're happy with without forcing yourself into content/styles that don't resonate internally. Good looks on the feed though, in terms of "Crafted" I think I wrote this in about 10-15 mins tbh, not much crafting, just emoting. The track came out nice though, it's on H4ZE's soundcloud for any who want a listen.
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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