Open Mic: 16 Bars |
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Dyer
Newbie Joined: 28 December 2012 Location: Aus Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Posted: 30 December 2012 at 8:45am |
your a poser bitch, if your my problem ill gather my composure shit,
then ill throw you to the ground, so now i can easily go get over it, show your shit, in the east ill leave you deceased yep nothing but dead, cause you aint a beast bro, your like used yeast yo, fucking in-bread, so quit dick sucken instead, start tryna come up with a sicker band, cause everytime you rhyme you get more boo's then my local liquor land, your the type who's wife is runnen around pushing a broken stroller, cum on her track pants while she's sippen on bourbon and coca-cola, shes slurpen and burpen on the sofa shes got no hope shes got a coma, its so bad, getting all violent against me cause i cant sell her no bag, yo fag your not dead but ill graff your foot and leave you with a toe tag, your go jab, hook and uppercut, ill just dodge, duck and counter cunt, |
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Cee-Jay Outlaw
Standard Member Joined: 11 October 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2131 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: WLLWWL |
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lol at the title being "16bars!" so you drop 12! Lmao!
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J504
Banned Joined: 08 June 2010 Status: Offline Points: 5385 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-0-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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I call troll.
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Dyer
Newbie Joined: 28 December 2012 Location: Aus Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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lol put up the title then wrote lyrics probly should have changed the title
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CHAIN
Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Venomonology
Standard Member Joined: 23 October 2012 Status: Offline Points: 674 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-2-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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wouldn't say 'in-bread' was dope. concept was nice, execution was wack. the flow was forced, which was obvious from the fact he worded it with 'bro' and 'yo', then still had to stick 'fucking' in to make up the syllable count. like.. how obviously do you wanna stretch something out just to force an idea to work?
after the first 4 lines is just gets wacker and wacker. yeah, you can rhyme ok.. I'll give credit there, but content-wise and concept-wise.. you got a long way to go..
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Matty M Scam
Groupie Joined: 08 December 2012 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 148 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-6-2 Form: LLWNLN |
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Mate, this showed potential if you really want it you can be good, but not puttin you down or nuthin but some was as CHAIN said wack as fuck. Re-read and tightin ya lines up and it could be good, don't just settle for 4 average lines because you got 1 good line next. Keep playin with words. Potential.
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Do Shit Make Shit.
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