Open Mic: fitzy free style

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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 06 January 2013 at 3:06pm
and he we go wit this bitches bacis flow slightly below average prepare for verbel carnage for ur retared style reminds me ov jewish steve who died over hitlers major gas leak in nazi germany u creep stop fukin sheep its a fast lane to some undiscover S.T.Ds let the poor beast be the last ting it needs is ur inbread GENES soaking true ur wrangler JEANS and creating a drag queen dats half man and half beast lookin for a hardcore g to put it out ov its misary then take a trip to the brewery and drown ur drunk ass in cafiric acid u cant hack the rap game wit ur mental rhym block minaskul cock dats allways on a flop
just got liricaly mashed
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Kay B View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kay B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 7:29pm
wrong section *face palm*

Moved
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Acid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Acid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 7:33pm
damn this is beyond bad structure, this seems so difficult to read, but ill feed back on the content in a while, for now my best feedback:
commas, line breaks, grammar, spelling...
commas, line breaks, grammar, spelling...
commas, line breaks, grammar, spelling...
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Acid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Acid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 8:39pm
Nope sorry I actually cannot read it at all, I think I lost a few IQ points (and brain cells), I mean I dont even see the rhymes, the words are impossible to read (most of them) where do the bars/lines separate

''average'' and ''carnage'' only half-rhyme, and that was just the first line, you couldve thought of one full rhyme atleast

the middle bit rhymes, but its still fucked,
the end bit is just a bit too confusing

Also dafuq is ''calfiric acid'', 
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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fitzy4life07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 9:50pm
i was high doing it and wats gangster about correcting grammer snap outa it faker i u look at tupacs rymes ritten in there raw state dare is messed up grammar to and same wit bigge so stop riden me wanna be PEACE
just got liricaly mashed
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Acid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 10:21pm
Lol, yeah they are, but that doesnt mean they got published with that spelling did they?, and if you're just going to be fucking obstinate, atleast make your shit readable so others can judge you on the quality of your verse instead of being blinded by a thick layer of illiterate, btw, I didnt say its 'gangster' to correct the grammar, just at least make it make sense...
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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fitzy4life07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 10:45pm
I DID NOT SAY THEY WERE PUBLISHED IN THAT STATE I CAN SPELL PERFECT U SMALL MINDED PERSON JUST BECAUSE UR LYRICS ARE BASIC AND FULL OF GAY SHIT DONT BE A DICK AND SUCK A SMALL PERSON THAT U TRY AND I STRESS TRY TO BRING SOME ONE ELSE DOWN U SAD MAN ANY TIME U WANT TO DROP ME EIGHT FEEL FREE AND I MASH U FOOLISH LITTLE MAN
just got liricaly mashed
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Acid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Acid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 11:05pm
Oh god. You take stuff a bit too much to heart dont you? I said structure it in a way that makes sense, I dont care if you do wanna spell or not, basically all Im saying is separate the damn lines or something to know where the bars split, I wasnt trying to start beef with you or whatever lol, I think you need to calm the fuck down.
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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fitzy4life07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 11:09pm
ILL BATTLE U FREE STYLE U SEND UR 8 ILL GET BACK WITH 8 IN 120 SECONDS
just got liricaly mashed
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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fitzy4life07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2013 at 11:26pm
SEE U LACK CREATIVTY U CANT FREE STYLE WITCH IS ONE OF THE BASIC FORMS OF RAP SO STOP TALKING SHIT LIKE U NO WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT CAUSE U DONT U NO I WOULD SLAY U IN FREE STYLE
just got liricaly mashed
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Venomonology View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Venomonology Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 12:24am
calm down fitzy.
what you wrote here wasn't that good, Acid just gave you feedback then you start acting like a cunt? why?
 
you gotta learn to take criticism. I know what you mean about Pac & Biggie, they didn't have perfect spelling but then they weren't posting their lyrics on a text site.. if you drop an audio piece you can spell shit however you want. if you drop a text piece, the structure is important because it helps people see your flow, etc.
 
plus you already showed you can spell properly, so why not just do that from the start? by pretending that you can't spell, it makes you seem fake now.
 
there are some dope writers here who could help you elevate, Acid is one of them. but you have to be respectful and accept constructive feedback.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jay Homicide Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 12:40am
Hmmm, does Jay Hom have to stomp a faggot out?
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jay Homicide Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 12:52am
For the freestyling faggot, 12 lines in 5 minutes or less if you want to test what you got.
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Kay B View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kay B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 2:46am
Originally posted by fitzy4life07 fitzy4life07 wrote:

i was high doing it and wats gangster about correcting grammer snap outa it faker i u look at tupacs rymes ritten in there raw state dare is messed up grammar to and same wit bigge so stop riden me wanna be PEACE


1. Your not gangster, otherwise you wouldnt be on here you'd be out selling drugs, shooting people or whatever it is you gangsters do

2. Your not tupac, dont waste your time tryna copy how he wrote shit, since for starters he had content and flow, you had neither

3. http://dictionary.cambridge.org/

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Adziano View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Adziano Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 3:08am
I think you're wrong Kay... I've been to loads of Hip Hop sites/forums and there seems to be an exceptional amount of Gangsters on there also. It can't be coincidence.

I mean who wants to stand on a street corner slanging all day, or risk jail time committing armed robbery when these guys seem to be able to gain 'cred' and fulfil their Thug Life ambitions while living at their parents house?
Adz
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IZIAH View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote IZIAH Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 3:15am
well first of all this guys from ireland- no hate fitzy...
so how is this guy a gangster when he's irish- i'm not sure...
and second- this guy is probably just faking all this shit so we think he is a so called "gangsta"...
 
just sayin' that he isn't a gangster if he's livin' in ireland, he's probably just some guy that wants to rap ALOT better than he is right now...
~Insight The Inspired~
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Venomonology Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 3:31am
lmao @ Adz
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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fitzy4life07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 8:58am
AND WAT DO U NO ABOUT IRLAND  AND WHAT I AM AND I AM NOT ? SNAP OUTA IT U LIL BITCH 
just got liricaly mashed
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fitzy4life07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fitzy4life07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 9:02am
AND IRELAND IS FULL OV PEPS GETIN SHOT UP EVRY DAY AND STABBINGS ROBBRYS AND IRA BOMBINGS SO IT MORE POLITICAL AND TERRORIST GROUPS BLOWING UP THE ENGLISH U ANT NO SHIT ABOUT MY COUNTRY ITS A VOLITILE PLACE
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Venomonology Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 January 2013 at 9:27am
there are no IRA bombings going on in ireland every day. once every few years there's a shooting or 2, or maybe a group of people throw some bricks at the police.
all the action right now is in northern ireland with the reaction about the union jack, but you're not from there. you're from ireland. which is actually quite peaceful these days compared to back in the 80s.
 
anyway, political terrorists are completely different from gangsters in every way. the IRA do what they do because they believe in something. gangsters do what they do (usually) because they have no choice.
 
so, fitzy. believe me that people here know plenty about ireland and the political situation there. some of us probably know more about it than you do.
 
chill the fuck out.
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