Text Battle Archive: Vib.klean -vs- JBrenn

Check

* He dropped a Open mic called THIS IS WHAT IT IS in which he names 20 or so site mc's(not mine though)

 I spit raw and contagious, so you fixed your structure which was wrong and outrageous?
good thing cuz it reminded me of mlks quote ;it belonged to the ages!
Now let me explain why i'm not just a random dude that will pounce,
I gave ur bitch the mandible claw; thats why she got tubes in her mouth!
Cock zoomed up her blouse,then came back from iraq now u suffers from stupidity
the government wont pay wack rappers so u  cant get funds on diss-ability
just be righteous nig, i piped ya bitch, BUT gave her bread the night i slid
so you tried to hustle packs on the corner but nobody liked ya sigs!!
goodnight kid, plus you still broke, so ill leave u where the bitches dissolve
cuz those afghahnis didn't get ya, i'm here to klean up and finish the job

Thanks for the vote proct.

J Brenn: Opener was mehh.. Line was worded okay but it didn't have much on the punch factor towards your opponent. V with a W concept was crack, original, I liked it. However, the wording of that bar wasn't very strong and shortening filler to fill took a bit away from the first line of the bar also. Fell short because of the wording but you got credit for the dope concept. 26 wins bar was okay, an okay personal. Nothing too strong but it didn't fall short either. Knocked out by art bar was cool, plus personal points.. I wasn't feeling the nameplay on the closer. Didn't feel like that punch did too much damage attacking.

brenn though u opened pretty strong. next few lines kinda fell short then u came out n ended on a strong note thought ur closer coulda been worded a lil better for a stronger effect over all was a decent drop i kinda think u took vib a lil light n played around with a shortened style on this verse. to me it just wasnt up to par with what i know u can do

MVGT brenn for more consistency. Vib's verse was just him talking about fucking his bitch, mainly filler. I don't even think vib had any punches, a few personals but not really that great since he only talked about his bitch 70% of the time. Vib, your style has gotta change. All you talk about in battles is fucking someones girl. You're not Tyga, meek mill, or any of those shitty rappers. 

Vib, you can't hate on folks for having an opinion. Douggys vote counts, btw, you can't mod your own battles.

Carry on

OK...
'THIS IS WHAT IT IS' bitch you can cry you can pout ...
Even naming the whole site i noticed you kept my 'name outcha mouth'!*

Lets talk about your bars now looking like all fill...
Only time you see V with a W is on a car grill...**
Look Fag ill man handle you and rattle this dude...
26 wins? padding his stats by battling noobs...***
Need i 'PAINT' you a picture V Punches about to spark...
'Brush'd with a fist cause he gets knocked out by 'Art'...****

This gender clash has a dickhead smashing V like tender nads...
The only V blowing up on an english site wears a Vendetta mask!*****


Ok, the opener made perfect sense and i can see why you chose it as your opener, trouble is it wasn't very hard hitting, its not really much of a personal saying that somebody didn't mention you. The v-dub punch was kool, it was a kool personal and it comes off effective. But you could have pulled it off better and linked the first line to it. Next bar flows well but doesn't really have a real punchline to it. And if noobs give an open callout whats wrong with somebody accepting it? I can see why it can be seen as a personal, but again its just not making me go "oohh damn!". Your next punch doesn't work! There is no shame in losing to Arthur! Nah I'm kidding, all things considered its a good bar, the first line connects in and the punch is clever. The closer was kool, i tried to come up with a v for vendetta punchline when writing bars for vib but couldn't come up with anything hard enough, its a good finish.

Overall: its an average verse dude. Nothing made me jump out of my seat, but there were a few good lines scattered throughout.



I spit raw and contagious, so you fixed your structure which was wrong and outrageous?
good thing cuz it reminded me of mlks quote ;it belonged to the ages!
Now let me explain why i'm not just a random dude that will pounce,
I gave ur bitch the mandible claw; thats why she got tubes in her mouth!
Cock zoomed up her blouse,then came back from iraq now u suffers from stupidity
the government wont pay wack rappers so u cant get funds on diss-ability
just be righteous nig, i piped ya bitch, BUT gave her bread the night i slid
so you tried to hustle packs on the corner but nobody liked ya sigs!!
goodnight kid, plus you still broke, so ill leave u where the bitches dissolve
cuz those afghahnis didn't get ya, i'm here to klean up and finish the job

Ok so your first bar was not that great, it flowed well and i liked the multis you used though......ok pause.......dude that second bar. Oh my god. Its one of the first bars i have read on this site that made me think "jesus, did he just say that?!?!". Its HARD. Its also harsh, but hey this is the internet, nobody forced brenn to post pics of his partner in hospital (no disrespect of course, i read jbrenn's story and my heart goes out to his wife). But DAMN! That's PERSONAL. And the punch is great, mandible claw, tube socks right? Yeah, that's raw and gritty vib dude. The next bar was ok, i have seen the diss ability wordplay used before, quite a bit actually, but the way you used it was kool. The sigs punch was kool, makes sense, coulda been harder though. The rhyme in the last bar is maad forced, bitches dissolve/finish the job? It doesn't work in my opinion.

Overall: i can't get over the tubes bar, everything after it was kind of tame but maybe because that bar was so raw.


Verdict: i give this to vib klean, i don't need to say he had the better personals, but he also used some nice concepts.

Winner: Vib.klean


Oh and on a side note, dougys vote was a complete and utter hate vote.

Vib - DTK said dougys vote is allowed, so it stands.

You aint a mod, you dont decide what counts and what doesnt.

Quit spamming the thread and let people vote.