Open Mic: #LAeXecution (The Assassination of Trizzy Tre)

Your crew is called Vis Maior, not Major...btw...you can thank me later, now I've said it here, it's like 30% less effective as punch for whoever ends up using it first

And I never implied (or meant to imply) that the nature of your feedback had anything to do with an allegiance to Triz... I can see that many people had an allegiance to Triz right up until the last minute, but they dropped it...so I know that's not the issue

Re: your 'extended feedback'

...Fully explained, it is a play on 'washed up'. So I start by pre-empting that he would call me washed up or similar (many people do...contrary to your belief that I float around here on nothing but exceptional praise). I transition that into him being dirty, in terms of hygiene, which is a running joke played on BG from when he posted his pic (I couldn't find it). He looked pretty dirty and the 'in-joke' was that he lives in a trailer and spends a lot of time...with himself.

So it's relevant and it's personal, and designed for those with a sense of humour to have a little laugh before I wind up for the closer

Of all the shit I had on the cutting room floor, I could have worked in plenty of my other material that would have run less risk of being deemed 'played' and may have appeared more 'complex'

But I have never been one to pander to ensuring everybody knows just how smart I am by putting in as much complex material as possible... I think it's just as important to be funny, and I think the the mere mention of 'semen' doesn't make a bar completely played or completely immature or completely unfunny

I think a lot of people on sites like this hold that opinion specifically because of the way they are 'educated' online to compartmentalise everything...so 'semen' goes in the 'played/immature' category...that's how a lot of your feedback came across in general

I haven't read Arthur's verse against you and I don't have time now, but when I'm next on, I'll check it out... I have heard good things about him so I'm sure it was good... I'll be back with my feedback

And I don't think it's 'necessary' to break down your breakdown, as I say I think the verse speaks for itself. What I really dislike is that people can't come into my drops and say they are shit hot without someone like you ready and waiting to call them a dickryder...that shit sucks, and I guess that's one of the reasons so many people tend to (again, this drop is a pretty rare exception for being almost universally extremely positive) downplay, not necessarily because they themselves are 'haters', but because they think if they just say they really enjoyed it, someone will use that against them and turn them into a 'dickryder'... The only reason I would have to break down your breakdown is simply to help you better understand

Tell you what, once I've read Arthur's and hopefully got a better understanding of what your perspective actually is...I'll see whether me breaking down my verse will do you any good

Ez

We are both being completely civil here, I have no beef with this guy, he is clearly smart and can stand his ground...which is the only reason I'm engaging with him

I'm not sitting here all like 'OMG U SED ARTHUR BETTER THAN ME'...and I'm not gearing up to hook off on you and trample all over your verse when I read it

To be honest I think this exchange is the kind of shit people SHOULD be reading...to ACTUALLY elevate...it may not be feedback on their latest shitty Open Mic that everybody tells them is good, followed by some friendly, universal cliche like 'keep elevating', but it is a discussion, more holistically/philosophically, around what is and isn't good lyrically...there's shit to be learnt if anyone wants to listen

But if people are just gonna presume it's a bitch-fight and presume I'm all over this guy for not liking my shit (honestly, if I did this with everyone who was ever negative about me, I'd never do anything else...I ignore so much more than you people seem to realise) and/or if he's all over me because he hates me or because he's an alias (and I'm not saying either are the case) then it's whatever...it's their loss...they can go back to their own shit and 'keep elevating'...but don't make out this is something it ain't...if you've got a view, speak on it... You haven't posted in here before now, when your name came up, after all

Anyway, home shit just fucked up my night, so I'm here and I may as well get over to your verse now

So this is a delicate one because obviously I'm gonna try and make my point without being a dick, and hopefully illustrating that I am being objective...but Wreckless, if you think that is better than this, you're loco holmes...just............yeah, no

Right

So

First, broader issues:

Expos. Partially this might be a generational thing. The expos take up about as much space as the verse. I see a lot of people do this now. A lot of people did it in the Battle Royale at LA X and yea, I was like, hmm... I loved the four-way at LA X because four guys just came in, dropped their eight lines, and left... and they were all good, Woods and Lucky especially, but Spume's shit was nice, and Blissful, considering he was the least experienced/active/established of the four, did well too...it really can be done

I'm not saying I don't explain shit, but I'm saying that a verse can't be like a page out of an encyclopaedia with all them gOddamn references at the bottom...it just...no...shit reminds me of Cliffnotes on Shakespeare

My verse, to be honest, would probably be better to you once I exhaustively explained each bar...but I think that's much more down to you being new than my verse being convoluted...verses need to explain themselves to whatever extent is possible... I was never one to say 'no newbie votes' in my battles (the most I would say is, 'if you don't get it, don't vote') but tbh it's a fair stip to put in, because people just don't get even the most obvious personal references

And you two going at each other were clearly unfamiliar...I get that...but all six of his punches were nameflips...all six! I'm not sure I've ever seen that before... And three of them called you 'Less -- which is a biiiiiiit of a stretch for a nameflip anyway...no?!

The structure... I mean, clearly the long lines are intentional, as are all those internals...but what are they adding, really? Does it make it flow better? Does it really help the set-ups for the punches (any more than my set-ups do, or anybody's set-ups who write shorter bars)? Are the rhymes themselves so good linguistically that they create an energy and charisma like Chain's or Perfecto's for example? Do these longer bars, to you, have an actual cadence to them (the theory being it doesn't matter how long or short your bars are as long as there is a rhythm, a consistency, a flow)? I'm not saying every text verse has to work as an 'audio'... I'm just saying that any writing that isn't prose should have some kind of rhythm to it

Second, the material:

The actual punches themselves... if I was to apply the same approach to his bars as you did to mine, I'd say something like:

'1, so you're saying you're gonna kill him? Not original

3, so you're saying you control him? Not really much of a punch

6, so you're saying you'll knock him out? Not original'

I'm not saying that's how I would critique it, but that's the kind of shit you said about mine...and that's half his bars...so for you to call this what you called it...yea, doesn't add up...at all

My actual opinion on the material?... First, general points:

Experimental...mostly in a bad way, but I'm not knocking it at all, I am under no illusions that everything I ever dropped was classic...if I looked back on my old shit I would cringe a lot of the time and that's mostly because I would experiment, with shit like this...obscure/forced nameflips and references

Knows how to punch... at least to the point of demonstrating a confidence/superiority...not so much in actually insulting...and none of it was funny...you need to have that shit in your arsenal too...otherwise it gets samey, it lacks real impact

More specifically, the punches:

I mean that Left Eye shit was just...not good man. The idea was there but the execution was ridiculously forced...unnecessarily so... 'You're gonna die in this Wreck, they'll start callin' you Left Eye'......... or I dunno, two or three more variants thereof... Better, no? Or am I completely out of touch with what people like now?!?

All three of the Less punches were good in the sense that they were good disses, but it's easy to flip the word 'Less'. My issue with the lines is that using Less as a nameflip -- particularly so many times -- is pushing it... I think the crew punch worked without it (fire, and the Top Art/auction element too...brilliant)... Less Undone really fuckin' smart in a way, but I dunno in terms of viability as a punch...floor Less, yea I mean it makes sense but it's not worth it for me

The use of Wreck/rec to me is just too obscure...no one really refers to recording as rec and even if they did...it's not that resonant that to record is to have the record button under your thumb... Had Wreck under my thumb like a touchscreen? If you wanna use under the thumb... Or if you wanna nameflip/demonstrate control of him... all over the Wreck like them 9/11 planes...controlling Wreck like a demolition crew... Goin' straight through Wreck like them balls Miley swings on... I dunno

So that's about it

This shit reads like one of Cuba's votes now...damn

Yeah this isn't close to being on the level of my drop. It doesn't read as well, it doesn't hit as hard, it doesn't explain itself well enough, it's more repetitive. He had the challenge of battling a stranger, without the colourful backstory of Triz, but then I could say (and I think maybe I did say), I wrote what I wrote against Triz off the back of him having been dissed twice by Manc very recently...and Manc is the highest ranked active battler...and other than the shit that Manc wrote about, there really isn't a lot anyone knows about Triz

Now I'm not talking like Arthur 'should' be 'on my level'...he certainly didn't nominate his shit as being better than mine... I'm not saying he couldn't write better shit than me one day... I'm just saying if you really think this is it, then yeah, we just gotta disagree my man, I think your opinion on what's good lyrically is seriously warped, and lacking an appreciation for/awareness of rhythm, diversity, intuitive/logical complexity, charisma and the components of/objectives for any given diss

smh @ the length of this. Felt if I had just replied 'well, no' I woulda just been called a hater, or not helping the new-school, or whatever... so I thought if I was gonna give the feedback/breakdown, I'd do it in full...haven't done this kind of thing for a few years now...you can see why

I will join hesitantly join the conversation. I went back and skimmed through the thread more thoroughly and have a better feel for the conversations intention, so omit the first quote.  As for the second, I was serious. I'm not sure where that Big Game quote came from, I initially thought it was from some mass of text in this thread however I didn't see it. I have respect for your work and whatever past accomplishments you hold but I'm going to be blunt with you. From what I can surmise from the quote, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that you place yourself a level beyond everyone when it comes to writing. Just being real saying there are a few writers on Netcees alone that are in a higher echelon than anyone I've read here, yourself included. 

EDIT: Re-reading it kinda comes across like I'm intentionally trying to be a dick and shit on your parade, however that is not the case. Granted that is a BG quote, it could be taken out of context or completely made up for all I know.