Open Mic: Loquentes linguis

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Dougysnuggy View Drop Down
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    Posted: 11 December 2013 at 1:06am
Quick key, waiting for a friend to come pick me up....


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........                     ........
  .....              .....
All I hear is laughter
.....I know it's not my son.....
cause he'd be dead once he laughs
I'm feelin psychotic, dry rottin all alone
Lookin like a cyclops eyeballin himself on coke
I try maulin my throat to open a hole for my soul
Gushin blood now I'm carvin pentagram's on a stone
But as Im buggin out my wife goes to pick up a phone
So I stab her in the neck n' I hide her body in the stove
Been talking to a ghost she watches me while I'm sleeping.
 I wake up, smell the smoke, through the walls I see it seepin.
 I'm screamin as I'm seein the demon move it's brimstone lips....
 I hear it say "id est animae perfectae" then vanish in a glimpse...
 It follows me around no matter what... sometimes I feel it kiss me..
 I don't mind it but I wish. it would kill this bitch that I call Wendee...
 It tempts me to snap her neck while she's lying awaken inside her crib..
 Every time I'm resistant I'm impaled by hieroglyphs resided on my ribs...
 and I'm not violent I just like slidin my penis inside of infantile vagina lips....
Asylum? I tried before but once I walk outside the door I wake up tied up...
Until I'm released and I feel it breathe down my neck sayin "Parcite, Amore"
From a soft whisper it transforms into  demonic laughs and slammed doors
I close my eyes but they're pried open and I see the eyes of the dark lord
I'll start to cry "why are you doing this" and it proceeds to bark more...
I wake up stuck to the fucking wall and slammed onto a bark floor....
Face covered in termites and sap but it laughs "Suspendisse velit?"
don't know what it means but I agree and just nod my head yes
Start chokin on my hands while it taunts "Haha! you said yes"
it lets me sleep, waking up, bed wet, scratch that, drenched
Soaked by my fucking blood but not a single scratch left..
I try to say a prayer but that's not as bad as wrath gets
It starts to skin my fucking daughter into mini applets
It lets go, she hits the floor but it turns into cushions
Then It wont come back for hours till I'm all mistook 
then I fall asleep thinkin everything's all good then
I see my daughter crawl through the room tattood
With no eyes to match too.. I hear voices scream
"RELIGIOSUS, RELIGIOSUS, RELIGIOSUS".. I quit
I try to end it all but it stops me right before
Laughin, it then throws the drawer at me
all the knives dive THROUGH my floor
a newborn murmurs "Quis tata tuus"
And I cant help but to plug my ears
then I see the floor drip UP in tears
My seed starts expandin, chantin
Rantin "Veni ad me anima mea" 
Drownin in seas of dry blood
I flap my arms and swim up
I finally see it's fuckin face
"Chin usque" I hear it say
"Youre stuk with me,
Forever in this
Place"




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Nigma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 1:17am
Sweet alaskan asparagus tips, thats some crazy shit doug, ambitious for sure. The verse obviously looks amazing, ive never seen anything like that before but its inspiring. It definitely compliments the horrorcore style nicely, your writing mechanics are improving with every piece you write. All the latin or w/e language that was adds to the demonic tone set by the format and baked with the imagery. Pulled this off man, grats. Most impressive om ive seen from you. 5 stars
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 1:26am
Thanks!!! I saw you viewing in the active users , wasn't sure if you'd leave feed :D

Again, BIG thank you for reading and the compliments. 


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 1:30am
Oh, and one more thing... 

It was latin. Did you translate it? 


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 2:04am
No need to translate, the title is "speaking in tongues"
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 2:40am
And one last thing, this wasn't a "Quick key" can't edit that out now... this took about an hour and a half
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 5:39am
Hqhah naw I fed on my phone just an educated guess. Vis Maior is latin too
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Titu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 10:39am
Okay. Dougy, we talked about it when it was under construction.lol
And i Told you its a masterpiece. And here it is..... Beast!!
Lets talk about content first,
The horror core kinda story you portrayed was dope. Sick imagery ( i know youre good in horrorcores).the way you started the story and picked it up, showed yo skills. Tbh i get bored when people drop long ass stories with no start or end. But your every line was strong enough to glue me more tighter to the verse. I enjoyed each and every line,bro. You had some sick concepts in thr.Too many quotable bars in this...
Another thing, i dont know if somebody else noticed or not, the way ypu jumped from one scene to another. It takes some real skills to execute this. And you were right thr,bro. Dope work.

Structure: dam, perfectly fit the theme of the verse. Lol- i told you it was like an alien head but it wassnt complete at that time so sorry. Lol. Ive never seen anybody to drop this kinda stuff before. Idea was fresh and dope as fuck.

Man lots of respect for you.Youre elevating by leaps and bounds. You really proved yo skills and this is definetely a 5 stars drop. Yup- five stars from me too.
I know i couldnt write this kinda thing in years. Dope work,my man.

stay ill with the skills


Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 8:00pm
Bumping. Feed 4 feed?
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Shankley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 8:08pm
Sick drop man your vocab is great and i liked the Latin in it as well not to mention the title... I liked that and the structure is.... Just... WOW. How did you do that must have taken you ages. But seriously great drop dude
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 8:18pm
I started it at 6:00 PM, finished it at like 7:58 ish, then took a little to color in the eyes.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Shankley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 8:23pm
Well Bravo ClapClapClap great job. Check out my om see what you think
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Freeda5thDawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 December 2013 at 9:15pm
Quite an innovative and artistic thing you did here. It's quite impressive and intrigues me seeing as it as original visual art as well as written art which are both one of my biggest loves. The story itself was simply crazy. You had very good imagery and clear details throughout. Creativity was on point, the technical side of the lyricism lacked in multis and internal rhyming and all that hooblah I wasn't really looking for specifically anyway, hehe. Good job, man. Really cool idea.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2013 at 12:17am
Upping
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2013 at 7:45pm
BUMP
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2013 at 7:50pm
I mean, really? No new feed? I'm not trying to bitch... but this is ridiculous... 

Will return the favor......
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 December 2013 at 8:40pm
Hated this. Honestly. Only cause I hate you.











No really this was some creative shit. You did very well catching the eye with the image the story was ok I thought this was a good drop a great drop for you. If this was your consistency it would be impressive. You have now set the bar for yourself. Keep this up. Don't worry so much about feed. The quality of members that gave you feed on this high and it is a good drop. Keep working hard dougy.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 December 2013 at 12:28am
Gud drop Doug, this is the level I expect from you from now on. No troll'n, no free post'n.....concentrate on keep'n yur game at this level and SYN will open up a spot for you.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dougysnuggy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 December 2013 at 11:19pm
Upping
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