Open Mic: Loquentes linguis |
Post Reply | Page 12> |
Author |
Rating: Topic Search Topic Options
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Posted: 11 December 2013 at 1:06am |
Quick key, waiting for a friend to come pick me up....
. . .. .. ... ... .... .... ..... ..... ...... ...... ....... ....... ........ ........ ..... ..... All I hear is laughter .....I know it's not my son..... cause he'd be dead once he laughs I'm feelin psychotic, dry rottin all alone Lookin like a cyclops eyeballin himself on coke I try maulin my throat to open a hole for my soul Gushin blood now I'm carvin pentagram's on a stone But as Im buggin out my wife goes to pick up a phone So I stab her in the neck n' I hide her body in the stove Been talking to a ghost she watches me while I'm sleeping. I wake up, smell the smoke, through the walls I see it seepin. I'm screamin as I'm seein the demon move it's brimstone lips.... I hear it say "id est animae perfectae" then vanish in a glimpse... It follows me around no matter what... sometimes I feel it kiss me.. I don't mind it but I wish. it would kill this bitch that I call Wendee... It tempts me to snap her neck while she's lying awaken inside her crib.. Every time I'm resistant I'm impaled by hieroglyphs resided on my ribs... and I'm not violent I just like slidin my penis inside of infantile vagina lips.... Asylum? I tried before but once I walk outside the door I wake up tied up... Until I'm released and I feel it breathe down my neck sayin "Parcite, Amore" From a soft whisper it transforms into demonic laughs and slammed doors I close my eyes but they're pried open and I see the eyes of the dark lord I'll start to cry "why are you doing this" and it proceeds to bark more... I wake up stuck to the fucking wall and slammed onto a bark floor.... Face covered in termites and sap but it laughs "Suspendisse velit?" don't know what it means but I agree and just nod my head yes Start chokin on my hands while it taunts "Haha! you said yes" it lets me sleep, waking up, bed wet, scratch that, drenched Soaked by my fucking blood but not a single scratch left.. I try to say a prayer but that's not as bad as wrath gets It starts to skin my fucking daughter into mini applets It lets go, she hits the floor but it turns into cushions Then It wont come back for hours till I'm all mistook then I fall asleep thinkin everything's all good then I see my daughter crawl through the room tattood With no eyes to match too.. I hear voices scream "RELIGIOSUS, RELIGIOSUS, RELIGIOSUS".. I quit I try to end it all but it stops me right before Laughin, it then throws the drawer at me all the knives dive THROUGH my floor a newborn murmurs "Quis tata tuus" And I cant help but to plug my ears then I see the floor drip UP in tears My seed starts expandin, chantin Rantin "Veni ad me anima mea" Drownin in seas of dry blood I flap my arms and swim up I finally see it's fuckin face "Chin usque" I hear it say "Youre stuk with me, Forever in this Place" |
|
Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
Post Options
Likes(1)
|
Sweet alaskan asparagus tips, thats some crazy shit doug, ambitious for sure. The verse obviously looks amazing, ive never seen anything like that before but its inspiring. It definitely compliments the horrorcore style nicely, your writing mechanics are improving with every piece you write. All the latin or w/e language that was adds to the demonic tone set by the format and baked with the imagery. Pulled this off man, grats. Most impressive om ive seen from you. 5 stars
|
|
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Thanks!!! I saw you viewing in the active users , wasn't sure if you'd leave feed :D
Again, BIG thank you for reading and the compliments. |
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Oh, and one more thing...
It was latin. Did you translate it? |
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
No need to translate, the title is "speaking in tongues"
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
And one last thing, this wasn't a "Quick key" can't edit that out now... this took about an hour and a half
|
|
Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Hqhah naw I fed on my phone just an educated guess. Vis Maior is latin too
|
|
|
|
Titu
Superior Member Joined: 04 July 2013 Location: 🔥 Hell 🔥 Status: Offline Points: 4522 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-19-0 Form: WWWWWW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Okay. Dougy, we talked about it when it was under construction.lol
And i Told you its a masterpiece. And here it is..... Beast!! Lets talk about content first, The horror core kinda story you portrayed was dope. Sick imagery ( i know youre good in horrorcores).the way you started the story and picked it up, showed yo skills. Tbh i get bored when people drop long ass stories with no start or end. But your every line was strong enough to glue me more tighter to the verse. I enjoyed each and every line,bro. You had some sick concepts in thr.Too many quotable bars in this... Another thing, i dont know if somebody else noticed or not, the way ypu jumped from one scene to another. It takes some real skills to execute this. And you were right thr,bro. Dope work. Structure: dam, perfectly fit the theme of the verse. Lol- i told you it was like an alien head but it wassnt complete at that time so sorry. Lol. Ive never seen anybody to drop this kinda stuff before. Idea was fresh and dope as fuck. Man lots of respect for you.Youre elevating by leaps and bounds. You really proved yo skills and this is definetely a 5 stars drop. Yup- five stars from me too. I know i couldnt write this kinda thing in years. Dope work,my man. stay ill with the skills |
|
Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Bumping. Feed 4 feed?
|
|
Shankley
Superior Member Joined: 03 September 2013 Location: Leeds, England Status: Offline Points: 3369 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 37-43-1 Form: WNLWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Sick drop man your vocab is great and i liked the Latin in it as well not to mention the title... I liked that and the structure is.... Just... WOW. How did you do that must have taken you ages. But seriously great drop dude
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
I started it at 6:00 PM, finished it at like 7:58 ish, then took a little to color in the eyes.
|
|
Shankley
Superior Member Joined: 03 September 2013 Location: Leeds, England Status: Offline Points: 3369 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 37-43-1 Form: WNLWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Well Bravo great job. Check out my om see what you think
|
|
Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Quite an innovative and artistic thing you did here. It's quite impressive and intrigues me seeing as it as original visual art as well as written art which are both one of my biggest loves. The story itself was simply crazy. You had very good imagery and clear details throughout. Creativity was on point, the technical side of the lyricism lacked in multis and internal rhyming and all that hooblah I wasn't really looking for specifically anyway, hehe. Good job, man. Really cool idea.
|
|
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Upping
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
BUMP
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
I mean, really? No new feed? I'm not trying to bitch... but this is ridiculous...
Will return the favor......
|
|
JBrenn
Superior Member Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3757 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
Post Options
Likes(1)
|
Hated this. Honestly. Only cause I hate you.
No really this was some creative shit. You did very well catching the eye with the image the story was ok I thought this was a good drop a great drop for you. If this was your consistency it would be impressive. You have now set the bar for yourself. Keep this up. Don't worry so much about feed. The quality of members that gave you feed on this high and it is a good drop. Keep working hard dougy. |
|
|
|
Brotha Goose
Standard Member Joined: 07 July 2013 Location: San Diego, CA Status: Offline Points: 2318 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 10-10-0 Form: LWLWLL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Gud drop Doug, this is the level I expect from you from now on. No troll'n, no free post'n.....concentrate on keep'n yur game at this level and SYN will open up a spot for you.
|
|
|
|
Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Upping
|
|
Post Reply | Page 12> |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|