Open Mic: Rhymin' the reason keystyle

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U.N.L.M. View Drop Down
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    Posted: 11 February 2014 at 5:47pm
I know this is a keystyle, but if you post it up for feed I gotta point out some things...For instance, wording is weird at times - 

"Y'all gon stop what is was you were doin'"....

"When ...
T his glock goes pop "

^those are a couple examples..."what is was you were" is a bit convoluted...Some lines were also way too basic...like this one was just poor:

"I'll illuminate you like illuminatiin'
With illumination like the sun you were seein'"


Thought this was your more interesting bar in terms of flow:

I'm a pro testin' G, got a cause worth coupin'
Got a couple of coupes 'n' koolaid for coolin'

Also like the closer a lot...I think the concept is cool, but it deserves more than a quick keystyle...Keystyles are great cause they can be raw, but I think you really should work on your verses...Keystyles bring out more wording issues and simpler ideas...No need to rush it just to post something...Anyway, keep writing...
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Rapper T View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rapper T Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 February 2014 at 6:19am
You're right Rammy, rhymin' the reason!
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Rameez View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rameez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2014 at 11:33am
seems like you just wrote for the sake of rhyming.. otherwise I won't see too many random ideas there..
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rapper T Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 February 2014 at 7:35am

Keystyled verse just now for you:

You been watching all day just to lock this drop
This robotic script straight from robocop
Y'all gon stop what is was you were doin'
When ...
T his glock goes pop 'n' your thoughts start stewin'

Bought you a new one like I brought renewin'
Mods go "true" when Rapper T starts brewin'
I'm a pro testin' G, got a cause worth coupin'
Got a couple of coupes 'n' koolaid for coolin'

Unacceptably fuckin' the EU like Nuland
Blockin' the site up in a Turkish court rulin'
Winnin' Russian respect like I was Norwegian
Slicked up your flow just because you're streamin'
Rapper T's deep like I fixed doors squeakin'

I'm an authoritative totalitarian
Preachin' antidisestablishmentarianism
I'll illuminate you like illuminatiin'
With illumination like the sun you were seein'
No bahamut or owls, I bring educacion

Upgrade you peons to the level of daemon
Evolve you to a knight from a meager peasant
'N' all you had to do was a little light readin'
And ...
That's what I call findin' rhyme in the reason
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