Text Battle Archive: Concrete vs Traffik

Bar 4- he lost to Point Blank

il make your family, friends & the nieghbors miss you
for Crete its casket! & il make sure 'Concealed' like carrying his favorite pistol
the provings done, so now its time for a bruising son!
we all know 'Condum' for accepting this battle & your fathers is for not using one!
better flea & route cuz i'll finish him & knee his mouth!
battle me? u'll be bleedin out. if Syn wants to see 'Confine' he wont leave the house
pistol to the mouth leaving your chin strapped & infact!
if you try to score a 'Point' i will make sure that you 'Blank' out in your win stats
battle for fun? then ur hobbies shit, facing godly spits
use your 'Con Text Clues', cause everything around states you should 'Probably Quit'
you dont hold heat, cant walk in my shoes youd get cold feet
i would leave a 'Con Verse, Chucked' to the 'Side Seeing stars' like it was 'Old Sneaks'
known to decapatate battlers quick if their name ring!
once you see what 'Con Neck Did' youl know each one of my punches did the same thing
all bars! your cap get rocked! text give it up you have to stop!
cuz no ones 'Investing' in your 'Comedy Act' to prove your only the 'Laughing Stock'

il make your family, friends & the nieghbors miss you

for Crete its casket! & il make sure 'Concealed' like carrying his favorite pistol

The "for crete its casket!" is poor/awkward wording IMO unless you're a caveman...Adding a simple "a" between its and casket could've solved that...simple fix...The nameplay is cool, but I really think you could've easily worked the whole Crete in a casket into the setup to make it relevant and to setup the wordplay better...Make it much cleaner

the provings done, so now its time for a bruising son!
we all know 'Condum' for accepting this battle & your fathers is for not using one!

Funny...I liked it...I usually would like the Condom/con dumb wordplay to work both ways as in this case in doesn't make sense as Condom, but this was more of a clever little play on words as opposed to an attempt at a double entendre...

better flea & route cuz i'll finish him & knee his mouth!
battle me? u'll be bleedin out. if Syn wants to see 'Confine' he wont leave the house

"see confine" is suspect...It works well as "see con fine"...I mean, it's creative and you get points for that but I cringe at forced wording like that just to work in a wordplay...Especially when it's not a personal or anything...Again, I don't know why you're doing nothing with your setups...That whole "battle me? u'll be bleeding out" should not be in the second line at all...stretches out the punch and makes it long-winded...It's not like it added anything other than to rhyme..

pistol to the mouth leaving your chin strapped & infact!
if you try to score a 'Point' i will make sure that you 'Blank' out in your win stats

Solid bar, tho I think it could've been worded better as "blank out" isn't the strongest phrase...Still, I like the personal aspect of it especially after so many straight nameplays...You really should do this more with your bars instead of just nameplays...I get personals ain't running around for the taking, but at least switch up the nameplay...Do a Con play, a concrete play, a crete play, a syn/con play...Not just the same word over and over (con)...Again, setup was weak

battle for fun? then ur hobbies shit, facing godly spits
use your 'Con Text Clues', cause everything around states you should 'Probably Quit'

Poor wording on the punch IMO...sounds forced..."use your context clues" - works well IMO...."use your con text clues" - Not smooth enough for me...The idea/punch was good tho...I used a nameplay like this "We all know how to read so we can handle Con-Text" or something like that

you dont hold heat, cant walk in my shoes youd get cold feet
i would leave a 'Con Verse, Chucked' to the 'Side Seeing stars' like it was 'Old Sneaks'

dope, best bar so far....loved it...It works much more smoothly than your other nameplays so far...I don't mind it being longer because it was necessary...Setup was good too...This is what I expect when I read your verse...Tight bar

known to decapatate battlers quick if their name ring!
once you see what 'Con Neck Did' youl know each one of my punches did the same thing

Naw, forced again...connect did...would've been better flipping it around...He'll watch that punch con-neck like I was going for the jugular...That's not good either lmao but at least the "That punch connect" works both ways and sounds somewhat more natural...

all bars! your cap get rocked! text give it up you have to stop!
cuz no ones 'Investing' in your 'Comedy Act' to prove your only the 'Laughing Stock'

Solid generic, liked it although it would've made more sense to throw this into the middle and end on a stronger, more direct note...Still good.

You had 6 out of a 8 bars be a Con nameplay...Too much IMO...And a lot of them weren't good enough to justify that...1 Personal is too little...Anything somewhat personal or direct to lace within your nameplays would instantly take your verses to the next level...Setups were pretty weak as well which I didn't really expect...You usually throw in some punchline in the setup so you have a jab and a punch in each bar but this time you seemed to throw in a filler each time...Seems to me you're trying to mix a style from here with RR and really not getting a strong result...That converse bar was dope as fuck tho...

CONCRETE