Open Mic: Under The Bridge |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
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Posted: 06 February 2015 at 10:11pm |
From under the bridge, a blurred figure is stirred
stumbling, bumbling and hurt, a slurred word is heard his knuckles drag and tattered clothes snag the faint echo bounces back, sounded like 'Fag' onlookers flee, from the foul creature beyond the tree laughing with glee as he begins to throw debris with moans and groans of homophobic overtones the thrown sticks and stones are breaking bones survivors start to plea, please wretched beast spare me the response we see, a flow of filth worse than goatse with iron nerves, demanding the respect he thinks he deserves but all to return is vicious insults in full reserves shocked and appalled, the foul creature recoils from what he's called, galled and enthralled, the beast retreated and bawled the next day he returned, vengeful of the hatred he had learned but still he yearned, for the respect the he thought he had earned as puberty was slow, more homo rants flow, his bigotry unashamedly on show blow after blow our wicked beasts bestow and still no remorse from this evil foe why couldn't the villagers find, the beauty hidden inside his tortured mind still they declined, his affections un-resigned and his talent left unsigned with confidence restored, the humours ignored and pitchforks secured the horde are assured the brutes no-longer welcome among the board Don't be deceived, the story you heard is an old one indeed repeated so often, its greeted like tumble weed The beast may be slayed and the memory decayed but once again a raid, his kind they invade The cycle goes on, year after year Cut off their head and two more appear |
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Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Scotty droppin verses! Wtf. This was surprisingly good and well written. Didn't know you had if in you. Read like some old fable. Multi's flow and narrative were on point. Good to see you flexing on a level ground. Enjoyed this.
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#bananas
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Mission
Standard Member Joined: 13 September 2014 Location: Madison. MS Status: Offline Points: 2291 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-9-1 Form: LWLLLN |
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Like rutter said, reads like a fable, or folk tale. This piece is quite obviously about you, and I like the way you described the different issues of the site. The flow was decent considering it's more of a poem than a song, good imagery a rhyme combinations. Would have liked to see more multis but you had some nice flows like
"with moans and groans of homophobic overtones the thrown sticks and stones are breaking bones"Good shit scotty stay active and post some more
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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From under the bridge, a blurred figure is stirred his knuckles drag and tattered clothes snag
with moans and groans of homophobic overtones survivors start to plea, please wretched beast spare me with iron nerves, demanding the respect he thinks he deserves
why couldn't the villagers find, the beauty hidden inside his tortured mind with confidence restored, the humours ignored and pitchforks secured Don't be deceived, the story you heard is an old one indeed
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Titu
Superior Member Joined: 04 July 2013 Location: 🔥 Hell 🔥 Status: Offline Points: 4522 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-19-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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.. My man venting it out today...lol
This was a well written piece. Ive read your previous stuff aswell and Im pretty confident this was by far the best from you. Some funny shit right there lol Talking about the flow, it was smooth during the most of its parts. Verse was straight forward and I liked it. Glad you actually shit on these kids aswell lol Cheers bro... |
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Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.
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Brotha Goose
Standard Member Joined: 07 July 2013 Location: San Diego, CA Status: Offline Points: 2318 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 10-10-0 Form: LWLWLL |
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Yo Scoot I'm going to be real with you. Your internals were on point and I loved the flow. Story line was solid and your vocab is deep, but where are those Multis fam??? I think if you got that multi game together you'd be an OM beast! Good shit scoot, when you get the time drop some more of your work and get that multi game crack'n!
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Major
Newbie Joined: 07 February 2015 Status: Offline Points: 20 |
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My favourite line was the one about beauty inside the tortured mind. It just stood out to me immediately. Like the others above I was feeling the internals, they really helped the flow while keeping the content rich. I like the deeper verses cause it's harder to find flaws in something more personal or whatever. Only thing that seemed like it didn't fit was the goatse reference haha.
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Exoduzt
Superior Member NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Yeah scoots!...Its about time i saw some work from you. I liked the descriptiveness and the imagery you had packed into this. This had an extremely poetic vibe to it. You got some skills scoots. I also love how you hit the topic. Trolls will be trolls.
drop more work
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Zinaii
Standard Member Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2957 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-27-10 Form: WLNNNL |
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Lmfao!!!! Not only was the timing of this perfect....it was dope as hell. Scotty got a little style down lol im impressed man I mean you took an idea of a typical troll and used it as a metaphor throughout the verse thats not easy man. You had some inners to...wtf scotty lol just random but very nice
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Dougysnuggy
Standard Member Joined: 24 June 2013 Location: Click on that v Status: Offline Points: 1972 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-11-5 Form: NWWWWL |
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This was actually dope Scotty. Haha. Last time I saw you drop a verse it was wack. But this was dope. You actually got some decent internal rhymes, and not to mention you really flexed your vocabulary in this. You should try to use more metaphors within these lines , because you're already establishing other literal devices . At least , if you continue to drop. Shit. You could probably beat anyone here. And that's fact. No argument about it. You're the best there is. Keep at it.
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Smoothtung
Standard Member Joined: 09 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-8-3 Form: WWWLWN |
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Dope dope drop Scott. I didn't see your name so from the title of this I thought you was ant from rhcp
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Though you never even had the chance to witness it |
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Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
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Thanks for the feed everyone. Like titu said, I was just venting, tryna put out a message.
I'll try an work on my multi's next time though. |
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barrybondz
Standard Member Joined: 09 June 2014 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 1440 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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This is the second piece of I've seen of Scotts and it was just as good as the first one. A nerd daydreaming about a girl or something like that if I recall? Overall smooth internals. Seems like Scott can be a bit of a story teller when he wants to be. To be perfectly honest this is one of the best om drops I've read in a while.
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Ransom
Standard Member Joined: 30 June 2014 Location: 7 Citys Status: Offline Points: 911 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-0 Form: WW |
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This was funny shit, and the flow was actually pretty decent. Props to you Scotty.
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~Lyrical Death Dealer~
"The Mike Myers of Papyrus" |
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JBrenn
Superior Member Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3754 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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thats closer was straight fire Scooter!!!
Really that blew me away... the meta there was Vet status.... the whole verse was ok and you know your just venting and getting this out so i can't really criticizes the product to much. Other than maybe making the whole thing flow as smoothly as the closer did.... but thats really it... whole thing was pretty dope and a good message!
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Hackusation
Groupie Joined: 11 March 2016 Status: Offline Points: 70 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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This was an amazing write and I was captivated beginning to end, this is the epitome of quality! It flowed so smoothly. Again, beautifully written piece. Truly worthy of the 5 star rating!
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