Open Mic: Crystal Clear.

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Real Hip Hop View Drop Down
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Joined: 18 March 2014
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Real Hip Hop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Crystal Clear.
    Posted: 20 December 2015 at 9:31pm


Rap nowadays is all about fashion and contests
Not lyrics you see... So the convo is 'Complex'
Lupe dropped a classic. 'Mural' made the herd rest
They're tryna say Rae Sremmurd is third best?
Might as well just quit Rap - and earn less
Guess these young pups never leave the birds nest
Don't hide, spread your wings and fly motherfucker
No reasonable doubt you're ready to die motherfucker
I got bars for days that were 'ill' when it was written
I'm a Black Panther I can KILL you little kittens!
Big Cat? Or Political Party? on the edge of your seat?
Bitches n Hoes; there's no-one left to compete
The summer is gone and the winter is near
The talent is known and the 'bitter' is clear
The good WILL triumph, as the sinner will fear
End the search now because the winner is here!









Jay-Z:
"I just tackle the subject, the flack of the public/
Nothing!I know real N***** just happen to love it"

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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 December 2015
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2015 at 11:11pm
I'll start by saying your drop started ok
but at about half way in,it seemed to run
out of steam,for me it tailed off,it fair
to say you had more to say in the first
half,and plus with your drop being short
to start with,I feel if it was longer
you may of had a chance to recoup,but
that's not to say it was bad overall,
in parts it was decent,your text flow
was ok,as with the line lengths,it may
be that it's not to my taste,but I will
say overall it was pleasing to read.
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Rebel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rebel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 December 2015 at 11:12pm
I'm going to say this was just ok for me. As for my personal taste of writing, not my cup of tea. The same topic could have been conveyed in a much more entertaining way. I'm not a huge fan of repeating words either(the motherfucker twice etc). Technically speaking there wasn't anything "WRONG" with it but it wasn't exceptional either. Read around at the different styles and maybe you'll come up with a way to spice up your style. You have the foundation to build upon I'm thinking. Stay writing.
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