Open Mic: Crystal Clear. |
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Real Hip Hop
Groupie Joined: 18 March 2014 Location: London Status: Offline Points: 278 |
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Posted: 20 December 2015 at 9:31pm |
Rap nowadays is all about fashion and contests Not lyrics you see... So the convo is 'Complex' Lupe dropped a classic. 'Mural' made the herd rest They're tryna say Rae Sremmurd is third best? Might as well just quit Rap - and earn less Guess these young pups never leave the birds nest Don't hide, spread your wings and fly motherfucker No reasonable doubt you're ready to die motherfucker I got bars for days that were 'ill' when it was written I'm a Black Panther I can KILL you little kittens! Big Cat? Or Political Party? on the edge of your seat? Bitches n Hoes; there's no-one left to compete The summer is gone and the winter is near The talent is known and the 'bitter' is clear The good WILL triumph, as the sinner will fear End the search now because the winner is here! |
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Jay-Z:
"I just tackle the subject, the flack of the public/ Nothing!I know real N***** just happen to love it" |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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I'll start by saying your drop started ok
but at about half way in,it seemed to run out of steam,for me it tailed off,it fair to say you had more to say in the first half,and plus with your drop being short to start with,I feel if it was longer you may of had a chance to recoup,but that's not to say it was bad overall, in parts it was decent,your text flow was ok,as with the line lengths,it may be that it's not to my taste,but I will say overall it was pleasing to read. |
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Rebel
Banned Joined: 03 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 81 |
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I'm going to say this was just ok for me. As for my personal taste of writing, not my cup of tea. The same topic could have been conveyed in a much more entertaining way. I'm not a huge fan of repeating words either(the motherfucker twice etc). Technically speaking there wasn't anything "WRONG" with it but it wasn't exceptional either. Read around at the different styles and maybe you'll come up with a way to spice up your style. You have the foundation to build upon I'm thinking. Stay writing.
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