Open Mic: Blood & Bondage: Amy's Side Business |
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 24 February 2016 at 10:41pm |
Hi I am Miss Amy, I was a slave of Deshi but no longer So meet me for a drink if your a freaking heathen Im as sweet as it gets....... blood & Bondage: Deshi's Right hand Ma'am blood & Bondage:The story of Mr. Deshi
Edited by daydizzle89 - 24 February 2016 at 10:54pm |
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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I know everyone is afraid to feed your part of the series because your topics are so fuckin controversial and taboo. With all the politics surrounding your last verse and the backlash it caused...I imagine that a lot of members dont even want to step foot in here.
There is something about your work that seems possessed. It seems like it's more than just writing. You have this sort of ability to create an atmosphere that seems real. But also warped and twisted. You drag the reader in kicking and screaming with only a trail of nail made scratches left behind. Your words are too vivid. The story you craft has too much life. And that's bad. Its bad because it's an evil story and we rather it be dead. Devoid of life. We don't want to like it. How can you like something this sick? On top of all of that, your verses read with no remorse or redemption. So now even if it is liked ... what does that say about people that liked it? Did they condone it? Do they support it? Is it that deep? Should it be? Should the mind even travel into these corners of darkness and solitude on purpose? I don't know. But I do know it's a heavy burden to bear as a reader. It makes you more than just a bystander but a witness. One that either calls foul play or turns a blind eye and inadvertently contributes to the crime at large. That's a heavy burden for a reader. A HEAVY fuckin burden my dude. lets begin: Hi I am Miss Amy, I was a slave of Deshi but no longer Deshi granted me as the mac daddy for more slaughter I now dabble in with human trafficking from across borders a hoarder of some sort with kids in containers towards the waters for twenty four hundred dollars, you are on your way forward to America The shipping ports ive extorted to turn a blind eye from the hysteria Containers filled with bacteria and the area plagued with diphtheria hundred souls in serious need of help but they are overtaking by delirium ^^^As come to be expected, you bring real life issues to center stage. You take the position not only of the victim but also the point of view of the perpetrator. You get inside the head of what makes them tick and paint a realistic picture of why they do it. While at the very same time you craft entire worlds that depict the horror and the destitution of the victims. Both angles are too close to life. They come across too vividly...too real. It's troubling and upsetting. But it's also brilliant in it's technique and atmosphere. Your attention to detail leaves no stone unturned and in doing so...nowhere to hide either. some from Algeria and a future in teh States for prostitution got the loot quick so i feel no remorse for using it against you humans Im the vampire that uses you foolish twits for pure amusement hooked up cameras to the ship nd' watch you kids puking putrid shit You suffer, i put it onto youtube n get two hundred nd' twenty views quick ^^^There seems to be a bigger metaphors at play here. You say you're a vampire but, as of yet show little if any vampire like abilities in the physical form. But, your actions and livelihood are vampiric in a way that you must suck the life out of your victims to earn profit and ultimately survive. In a sociopolitical context human trafficers are exactly that -- vampires. And how fitting and interesting that this is the career your character (an assumed actual vampire) has chosen to partake in. It seems to be a match made in Hell. Literally. watch you lose a limb n die while the hungry turn to cannibalism i get rapid orgasms watching the living use others to boost their metabolism Huamn Trafficking is a means for living, I get fast cash from black capitalism I wrap chains around their hands and promise them a land of giving just as the ship sets sail, i laugh and grin on whats happening Grandads n kids getting smashed in a box like a can of sardines ^^^Fuckin evil and graphically described with a villainous air surrounding it all. As they barf n those who are weak get little water n feed starving n sleep isnt an option as the waves make them squeamish people pleading for Jesus while screaming "Amy's a freaking demon" babies seizing n the weaklings creep closer to being deceased quick impeding death with fece'd colored sheets n at least fifty deep weeping twenty three freezing to death and another seventy three begin bleeding Human Treatment? I have no sympathy N' they're lucky their breathing ^^^God damn! You really know how to dig deep into the depth of an idea and pull out the most raw and heinous traits. The ones that soak in the murky water filled with blood, fat, and shit. You slop it all together and create a Frankenstein like monstrosity that is powered by the energy of your text. Give the green quick, the greed hits n after that im fucking leaving to plead to me, i have no fucking feelings As the ship begins to creep, you can hear the echo's n screaming Its a hundred fifty degrees n you can smell the cooking of raw meat n limbs ^^^ Like how do you even think of this shit? It is as bad as bad can be! So meet me for a drink if your a freaking heathen Im as sweet as it gets....... ^^^To the contrary. Wow! This was an intense read and ride, complete with stellar rhymes and appalling imagery. You just opened the portal to a lost realm of Hell and unwillingly sucked us all in. You are the puppet master my friend. I fear your abilities. Insane addition to the series. And this one should be less of a sell or controversy. Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 25 February 2016 at 9:06am |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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I totally agree with Self. Yes, your previous work was hard to stomach. Especially if you have a kid of yourself you want to protect by all means necessary but I do want to state that I'm cool with you. Before your first B&B and after. I refuse to believe that you're that asshole that gets off on that shit but that doesn't mean that I condone what you wrote. I've said it in the previous feed, what you did felt like necessary evil to me. We can pussyfoot about this for days, but it won't change that what you described there and here is actually happening in real life. You're the freight trein of vivid imagery that smacked us in the face with a dose of reality. Questionable? Sure. But I hold nothing against you.
That said. You once took a really vivid route with this post, but it was less controversial than the previous piece. You again had some parts which made me feel uneasy but at the same time this is your strength. So that automatically means you know how to set a tone, an atmosphere and really draw the reader in. That's something a lot of writers can not do. There is one line in here which I didn't like and came over as forced
Other than that. It's once again real solid. The imagery, multi's and shit. You got it all down and it would be insulting to discredit you just because you tackle controversial topics. I do wonder where these series are headed and I still hope for a happy ending lol.
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#Bananas
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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