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Ridley Squat
Street Team Joined: 20 November 2015 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 830 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-6-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 28 February 2016 at 10:54pm |
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Sup faggots! I've made some words rhyme with some other words. Fucking check it y'all!
I've walked out free each vault I've been in Fallout 3 with just the spork I eat my pork n' beans from the school canteen and for a small agreed call out fee I'll walk and leave, not cause a scene I stormed the beach at Normandy in '43 ... then bought some brie for my daughter's tea ... yeah I'm that sort of G! ... ... I'm sorta nastee! ... I stormed the Basti(lle) with a Cornish Pasty threw prawns & scampi at the Tour-de-France team when they cornered past me like Gordon Ramsey - how I'm always angry make Foreman's dad seem - like Orphan Annie fuck the Law's of Harry the whole Morgan family I'll leave your organs danglin' and make you call a taxi ... ... and still the law can't catch me ... cos I'm faster than lightning and darker when rhyming than half of the clients of Arkham Asylum got the heart of Poseidon out sharking for sirens with the last of the Titans on the barbs of my trident I'm remarkably violent but in class I be silent just the mask I'm behind tryna pass this assignment shouts to Art and Orion |
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TittySucker
Banned Joined: 13 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 39 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
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i like the bit about gordon ramsey and how you be packing sporks
sporks are awesome
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Venomonology
Standard Member Joined: 23 October 2012 Status: Offline Points: 674 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-2-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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not a bad little exercise, I much preferred the flow, feel and content of the 2nd part compared to the 1st since you started off just rhyming for the sake of rhyming, jumping from Fallout 3 to pork and beans to being involved in WW2, just felt messy.. the 2nd part had a more solidified feel to it though, particularly enjoyed:
I'm faster than lightning and darker when rhyming than half of the clients of Arkham Asylum thought that flowed incredibly well and was real creative too keep it up man and next drop you I'd love to see you hold down a central topic / subject throughout the piece
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Exoduzt
Superior Member NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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This was cool for non sense rhyming. I use to do this type of shit all the time. Id love to see some writing of yours that you too time to write. I really enjoyed the second part of this more. I really enjoyed the barbs of my trident. That was dope. Overall it was a cool little flow type piece
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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lmao...fuckin, Ridley. aite aite we know u can rhyme, son lol! i've always love intricate rhyme scheme and this was fun as fuck to read. the nonsense just adds to the apathetic "cool" attitude of the verse lol. Good shit, yo. Hope u explore a more focused topic cause i can see u droppin some dope OM honestly
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Patient Zero
Groupie Joined: 25 April 2016 Status: Offline Points: 47 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-1 Form: LN |
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Snap this was dope bro, for what it was. I personally didn't dig the rhyme chop halfway thru shoulda just kept it a mass multie... but thems just different apples. I really liked some of the crazy ways you went with it tho...I was digging that flow, you should try some paragraph rhyming and getting a little bit heavier on the schemes, you could drop some mad shit brah.
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Raskit
Newbie Joined: 24 April 2016 Location: London Status: Offline Points: 12 |
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"I stormed the beach at Normandy in '43"
Normandy invasion was in 44 bruv. You can't change history just to fit your flow. Not than I'm suggesting you did, lol..... |
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Ridley Squat
Street Team Joined: 20 November 2015 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 830 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-6-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Yes, D-day as it played out in 'your' reality was 6th June 1944, but they started planning it in 1943, so in the reality I am suggesting here is, fuck a plan, I went off and did it all on my own... so 1943 makes more sense. Hope that helps.
The rest is true though Thanks for the feed y'all |
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Storm $hadow
Groupie Joined: 25 July 2015 Location: Abuja Status: Offline Points: 329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-4-0 Form: LLLL |
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Not much time to comment but i could twist the effect of that '1944' though. In reality, it was done in '1944', right?(i don't know about it though) but if you did it in '1943', it could also mean you were ahead or you murdered time there.
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Schematic
Groupie Joined: 08 November 2014 Status: Offline Points: 130 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Damn...You Are Good
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http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/rapper-t-vs-schematic-horrorcore-02_topic45919.html
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Why I get no shouts? Is it because my name rhymes with scuba and pooper scooper?
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Ridley Squat
Street Team Joined: 20 November 2015 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 830 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-6-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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I got ya bro
I'm sicker than a thousand tumours I'm "Hidden talent ... Crouching Puma" thinking I could Outmanoeuvre, my shoalin tutor, and the towns Yakuza ... that's why I'm not allowed Sambuka & if you doubt the rumours, then I've grounds to sue ya cos I may not be smart, but I shout the truth I'm like Martin X or Malcolm Luther I may not be a vet, but I know how to neuter and I'll be taking off more heads than the House Of Tudor .... ... .. . SHOUTS TO CUBA |
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