Open Mic: Suspect Zero

Dam can't believe u got these all in in only six lines that in itself is crazy kept a solid flow an rythm threw out aside from the last line I thought this was flawless but the last line rolled off a lil awkwardly but a solid piece non the less good shit neek stay up

AZ-DA-GOD wrote: I think you should spend time on whatever it is you're trying to say before the rhymes and definitely incorporate linking lines together. This is a solid piece but needs WAY more connected-ness with your previous lines. Try this. Separate every line and re-organize the order. You can practically read off every line individually and there still wouldn't be any confusion because not one single line connected to the other. There all just unconnected sentences. But nonetheless, good approach like I said. I want to see you incorporate more of what I said into your writing.

NOTE: DUE TO ME HAVING TO BREAKDOWN MY VERSE, I WOULD LIKE IT DISQUALIFIED AS IT HAS COMPLETELY LOST ITS PURPOSE.


suspect zero was about that im calculated with my brutality, hard to catch and I kill killers, but I digress…

only thing I disagree with.. is your assessment of nothing connecting.. everything else is subjective and I appreciate your opinion.

opening line I state what it is I do (cause Atrophy) further down the line I explain how this is done..not casually neither, no sir.. in great detail. lets begin…

similiar to the valentines day massacre or an ordered "black out" - however you want to slice it. my only rule is I have no rules. anything is fair game - then I further tie this in by using a warren G reference and play on regulators/regulation. The G Code, yada yada yada - essentially I am ruthless with it..lets explain how.

unmitigated natter turns to yammer, debellation
demonstratin' suture, and loop your lips adjacent
emaciate without hesitation,

this section here? casual conversation turns to "mmmm!!mmmm!!mmmm!!" like the Aaron Burr 'Got Milk Commercials".. debellation is my result. you still following? cool.. demonstratin suture.. you familiar with the rapper stitches? google an image of him for help on where I went with my suture play.. and you find yourself right back to yammer. also - emaciate would be the byproduct of such a demonstration of suture. but all of this ties into the opening line.. because I, as initially stated..cause atrophy.. so here we are nearly done with the verse and absolutely everything connects from the first line.. to the end here..



debunk captivation

kinda self explainatory, but fuck it - I destroy any other thing which causes amazement. nobody fucking with me.. if you thought you was amazed before..in the words of the shamwow guy in his chop slap video.. youre going to love my nuts.


my pen game sylvan - a debonair bob ross paintin'
definite deficit, opposites polar no chill like ebola

now I explain HOW I debunk captivation.. my pen game sylvan.. heres where youre like "yo bro!! how the fuck is your pen game tree's in a forest and shit? yo pen game being a wooded area makes no sense, B!!" well kind sir.. my pen paints a large picture quickly (where Bob Ross paints quickly.. its not very debonair.. its not something youd find in Bill Gates home, but if his paintings were a bit more debonair… itd be equal to my pen game- so you see old friend..fuck it)..

definite deficit.. you are certainly behind on the score cards.. how far behind? as far behind as I am ahead.. opposites polar..

oh.…and this breakdown proves I have no chill…


like ebola.

now you were right, you can order them in any way and they work.. but thats because unlike what you said - they all connect and equal one message.

if you dont understand something.. its ok to ask. on the flip side of the coin tho…just because you only catch the surface, doesnt mean its simple.

but I know you were just trolling me :) and I forgive you.. only cause AZ is a super cool rapper guy dude man person.

and I said ALL of THAT to say this:

next time I will try super hard to write something you like instead of something I like, sorry about that man.

I don't think he was trolling you, Neek. I've read his work. He seems like a pretty good writer. I've noticed his style is very Big L'ish in rhyme structure. But...that really has nothing to do with my point. LoL.

Sooo...

Back to my point. I don't think he realizes that this wasn't just some random drop with obscure vocabulary. He's new to the site. I'm fairly certain he isn't familiar with what the 'Word Drop' challenge is all about.

I'd actually encourage him to participate to see how well he would fair with the given word choices.

Anyway...

Personally, I'm not really a big fan of this particular challenge. It just seems way to complicated and I'd rather just freestyle off the top than sit down and try to make sense of each word. But, I'm a lazy fuck, so, there's that. As for you tho...I thought you did pretty good with the material you had. It was quick and entertaining to read. I appericiate that. Fun drop.

Yeah, I agree. Except for the fact that even your "fun" drops are usually pretty fuckin "intericate" my dude. I'm sure I've used that word in quite a bit of feed I've left in your threads.

In terms of trolling...yeah, maybe you're right.

you wrote the novel tho.


2 things -

1) the point of the post was FAR from proving im great. I really dont give a fuck if people rock with my shit or not. art is subjective if you actually read and understood for once you would see thats exactly what I said...everything else outside of you saying nothing connected because you clearly didnt get it is your opinion and I can appreciate that- much like my post further explaining but thats cool bro. stay swaggy fam


2) wtf does a mod have to do with anything? and how am I going to encourage anything you do when basic english flies over your head?

anyhow - theres a 'pointless debate' thread were we can continue this if you really feel you have more to say on the matter. thx and enjoy your stay on LA

#ModDuties