Open Mic: Evrythang BIG(intro) |
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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Posted: 21 April 2016 at 10:34pm |
Big garage full of old-skools & NAVIGATOR WHIPS, big closet full of throw backs&ALLIGATOR KICKS,I'm a big man dawg I'm talking LATERAL-PLAYER-SHIT,big gunz that ah leave you on a RESPIRATOR-BITCH,niggas WAIT-FOR-ME-TO-SLIP but that's what I got the WEAPON-FOR,wood grain HANDLE-DRAWER my house bout 11-FLOORS,see I live a life you gotta die&go to HEAVEN-FOR, dogged out & my dog house got a SECOND-FLOOR,I hear the streets homie I listen,I was raised in the hood like my daddy the engine,y'all don't want big gov to promote the lynchin, big chain diamonds full of Freon ice,my gators 10 different colors like neon lights,y'all so use to being broke y'all didn't see this life, use to ball but u quit like Deon price,everything big from the chain to the wrist watch cane of the big blocks lames get they shit rocked,the games in a slip knot hardly-ah-see,only person I look up to is taller-than-me
~B_A_R_Z~ |
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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Appreciate it
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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Slip
Standard Member Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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dog house got a SECOND-FLOOR
lol made me laugh big chain diamonds full of Freon ice,my gators 10 different colors like neon lights ^^^^^^^^this line is nice^^^^^ this was a sick intro lookin forward to seeing what other type drops you got |
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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Fasho slip .. stay tuned I got u
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Hmm,I'll state now before I feed this,I'm not a fan of G-raps..
Anyways,on the whole I found this to dripping in the G-vein vibe,with that said though it did have the humour factor going for it,because for me this was the highlight,but if g raps are your thing then go throw that rhyme out there,you did however have some decent contents and the swagger effect was off scale here,it also had a decent tempo going for it too...lol....your drop is what I tend steer clear off at all times,but this seemed to pull me in,not the most technical drop I've read but not the worst by a long shot either,but it has a place still,the only real gripe I have with it is this,on the whole because the lack of subject matter,this verse seemed to be like a mono style of writing, and on the whole lost its vibrant feel,because the subject from top to bottom was samey,and a little dated in topic form,anyways still it is what it is,and Overal it was fun...peace |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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Appreciate your feedback.. I feel where your coming from. Much respect
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Sup BARZ, well, you definitely came through on the whole BARZ thing.
I had to get used to the format. You basically wrote it down like an actual story while most people ENTER after each line. It didn't take away that the flow was good and you had some pretty hilarious barz in there.
Highlight for me. Made me laugh forreal. For the rest, the humor was there but I wanna see you take it up a notch. Hit us with those bodybag barz, bruh.
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#Bananas
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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Good looking END.. I got you jus warming up getting use to site movement.. & you guys that's bn here work.. stay tuned tho I definitely got more to come
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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the doghouse line was cool.
I kinda like Cassidys more on bigger business tho when he said.. I got a large house, my backyard got a doghouse and I even got a backyard for my doghouse |
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#Bananas
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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Yeah neek his whole verse on that track was cold blooded.
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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The Rap Daemon
Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL |
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This is actually pretty dope.. The last line is fantastic and there were some nice bars in here.. Keep it up bro'!
One thing though, I'm not a fan of the structure.. This a verse not a paragraph. |
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Faggot
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B_A_R_Z
Banned Joined: 21 April 2016 Location: Detroit to L.A Status: Offline Points: 37 |
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I feel you daemon.. good looking.. appreciate the insight..
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~PUNCH_LINE_KING~
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