Open Mic: My verse for Kilo G - no show

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Trizzy Tre View Drop Down
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    Posted: 14 August 2016 at 4:32pm
So....

U gang bang in text? Fuck ur failed tough guy gimmicks...
Your Thug Life less believable then a recent 2Pac image!!
Listen, u lack barz n hard punches so we know u fronting...
Cuz the only time Kilo Spit Crack is when police coming!!
He's never dope, ur name associated with coke's all fiction...
u got it more twisted then if Drake started claiming he's Mission!!
Ur the definition of dead or turned ghost like Zin's decision....
When my punches Raise your Neck like ancient tribal women!



Empire.
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Goryo. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Goryo. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 August 2016 at 4:38pm
Solid verse. Not seen anything from him but I'm guessing I won't anytime soon if he's no showing. The last couple of punches were pretty funny but the whole thing comes across like you're just going through the motions cause I know you can do better.
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SELF ACTIVATE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 August 2016 at 5:32pm
Lol...pretty nice Trizz

You had some solid blows thrown and a couple lines I snickered at. But what I was actually most impressed with was the overall flow and set-ups you laid down. Top tier formatting. It was especially an easy and breezy verse for the reader to follow. I fucks with this. Good shit per usual.


Peace...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Droidian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 August 2016 at 3:35am
man. ..at some point those less than subliminal messages gonna get heard.


pretty effing impressive for a quick drop. you're lethal man. bringing fire without even getting hot.   

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Xces Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 August 2016 at 3:40am
U gang bang in text? Fuck ur failed tough guy gimmicks...
Your Thug Life less believable then a recent 2Pac image!!
-This bar honestly didn't feel great to me, if the set up ad a multi on the 2pac in the second segment it may have come off stronger, but as a whole it felt a bit played out.-

Listen, u lack barz n hard punches so we know u fronting...
Cuz the only time Kilo Spit Crack is when police coming!!
-My sentiments are similar here for the first set up, the ending rhyme scheme multiple lines over becomes boring quickly without internals to back the weight.-

He's never dope, ur name associated with coke's all fiction...
u got it more twisted then if Drake started claiming he's Mission!!
-I feel like if I knew who people were on the site better this would be a lot better for me in terms of this punch so I will leave this one alone.-

Ur the definition of dead or turned ghost like Zin's decision....
When my punches Raise your Neck like ancient tribal women!
-Yes, okay, this here, that ending line is strong af and fairly original.-


If I had a bit more knowledge of the "locals" so to speak this may come off a bit better, the first few set ups and punches weren't my cup of tea, but the loser was well played. You've got a clear battle format in this which is good because that's how it was geared, but he execution of the first 4 lines could have been stronger. IMO
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Trizzy Tre View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 August 2016 at 3:29pm
Originally posted by SELF ACTIVATE SELF ACTIVATE wrote:

Top tier formatting


Much respect coming from you bro. Thanks

Also Driod, lol thanks man but like I said in the my collabo verse with Beans....do you really expect something to happen in retaliation? Ha

Good looks fellas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2016 at 10:32am
Yep this works,you had some nice humour factor in this piece,which
in turn increased the punches thrown power,I liked it,Overal your
tempo was good as to the contents,i do feel however that this was
kind of loose from you,not as tight as you are the norm though,
but still it had weight to it,good verse alround really..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Droidian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2016 at 6:13pm
man. ..that "raise your neck like ancient tribal women"

no wonder no showing has become a cardinal Zin...😉

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 August 2016 at 8:49pm
This was rather short but straight to the point. The Mission and Zin bars were the highlights here, but I also enjoyed your set up in your opening bar. I loved the scheme you employed, very consistent yet with some nice, varying elements. Good work per usual. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jimmy badass Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 August 2016 at 6:40pm
I read your other drop too Tre. You can definitely write. Slick flow and punch after punch. No wonder the guy didn't show up
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