Open Mic: The Contract - Lord Puente |
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Lord Puente
Newbie Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 17 December 2016 at 4:52pm |
- The Contract
I’m smooth with the melody, I’m on a different pedigree peeps gave me credit cuz I spit my writs so tastefully you nothing but a mortal while I’m bringing that longevity flexin’ all this weaponry gon’ make you see my devilry Signed, Lord p, 12/17, Peace! - |
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Goryo.
Groupie Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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I like the style, it's a really fun one to read. Fun one to listen to as well so definitely something for an audio if you're not considering it already. I dunno if I'm just tired and talking shit but I was getting a Jadakiss vibe at some parts, just that type of swagger which is always a plus. So yeah flow and rhyme placements were on point, and props for keeping consistent to the end without forcing multis or writing shitty lines just to keep it going. It's a shame you had the pic of Hennessy without using it as a rhyme though lol. If I had to choose a favourite section it would probably be the third but to be honest the whole thing kept to the same standard and it was balanced out nice. Keep at it.
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Rameez
Superior Member Joined: 31 July 2007 Location: Brampton, CDN Status: Offline Points: 3922 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-40-4 Form: NWWWWW |
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I like the wording and the rhyming you did.. it's more like a self hyped verse which is an ok thing but not the best. Looking at your verse you got the skills and it's best if write topical or battle verse.
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rhetorical
Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL |
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hey bud, just returning the feedback
really nice verse here. . a bit braggadocio but layered under that tightly knitted rhyme scheme and vocabulary. The image definitely lends a personal touch and with the theme you had going on in this written. A signature to ones own craft haha. . very enjoyable read. Keep that pen moving
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Dope picture! I like the entire presentation. It feels proper and creates a certain motif when reading -- it's atmospheric. Lyrically, you had some solid lines thrown into the mix like the interest/equality play. That was nice. Rhythmically, the strong "E" sound kept the flow pretty smooth. This would translate into audio really easily. Good stuff, LP. Peace.
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Deathona💎
Newbie Joined: 21 April 2017 Location: Middle Eastern Status: Offline Points: 21 |
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DaYum fuUuUUk, the hennY bottle in the picture too xD too fucking OG that flow WAs Vicious af your vocab is squeaky clean ma duude really ain't got much to say here doe ,
Saw you on tha coment so said i have to check you out, your crazy good . Is recycling your older lyrics seen as tabo Lordp? |
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Deathona💎
Newbie Joined: 21 April 2017 Location: Middle Eastern Status: Offline Points: 21 |
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PS I dunnu why I see king crooked/ Vinnie paz in them
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Lord Puente
Newbie Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Yea, don't go feeding old ish. Click forum tab and feed newer shit on the open mic tab and audio mic tab. Go feed things on the first pages of those to sections
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Exoduzt
Superior Member NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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This was pretty dope. I liked how you kept the same rhyme scheme thru out. I thought the flow would falter but it didn't. This would be a dope audio to the right beat. This reminds me of CHAIN'S style the way he keeps the same ending rhyme. Shit if you can do it then do it. I would of liked to see some mixed shit in there. Step out the box a little but overall this was a nice piece.
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Lord Puente
Newbie Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Appreciate the feed exo. This been a minute, normally I like to switch up the rhyme are add a bunch of internals. Sometimes I just get caught in a rift and ride it out. I just go with the flow, what ever comes to thought goes to pen.
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