Open Mic: Whorecore [WD7]

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daydizzle89 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 20 December 2016 at 8:59pm
I'll turn a bitch's bones into a shin splinted tourniquet
Burn this bitch nd detonate a bomb that'll turn her t' crisps
Use her shirt and limbs to paint a portrait of pulchritude
Bolt her, glue ancient relics of Astonia through her vocal tubes
Im old nd rude, Moby dicking bitches with my whale sized fat prick
Grab that bitch and give her that dick till her Vag Sanguine
Have her muffling that Stick while whistling it in Onomatopoeia
"Ahhh Nommm Ah Top Eeee ahhh " Screaming "Im on top of D yah"
Im on top of depravity raping it like an insane bastard
A mirage of sanity as i use her chest cavity as a concave'd placard


Edited by daydizzle89 - 20 December 2016 at 9:11pm
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SELF ACTIVATE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2016 at 9:19pm
Quote I'll turn a bitch's bones into a shin splinted tourniquet


^Visceral and raw to the grizzle!
   
Quote Burn this bitch nd detonate a bomb that'll turn her t' crisps


^The scene in the Dark Knight where the joker blows up the hospital where Harvy Dent is recovering comes to mind here.

Quote Use her shirt and limbs to paint a portrait of pulchritude
Bolt her, glue ancient relics of Astonia through her vocal tubes
Im old nd rude, Moby dicking bitches with my whale sized fat prick


^Lol ight, bro. I think it's spelled E-stonia tho.

Quote Grab that bitch and give her that dick till her Vag Sanguine


^Ahhh man, here you go...that's some sick shit, Dizz. Literally. I guess the title should serve as an obvious disclaimer, huh?

Quote Have muffling that Stick while whistling it in Onomatopoeia
"Ahhh Nommm Ah Top Eeee ahhh " Screaming "Im on top of D yah"


^LOl exaggerated/animated/comical/and creative! Dope.

Quote Im on top of depravity raping it like an insane bastard
A mirage of sanity as i use her chest cavity as a concave'd placard


^Dope outro and effortlessly word usage..

All-in-all: this was some sick shit -- both lyrically and literary. Classic Dizz. Stay up.

Peace...

Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 20 December 2016 at 9:33pm
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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2016 at 9:27pm
lol..liked the title..

This piece does exactly what it says on the tin,a fresh approach on the key words here,
the opening had some sprite about it that worked well,and the part about painting with her limbs a thing of beauty..lol was a cold and cruel,I liked it on the whole it had some
flavour,it also had a direct feel,orignal man and enjoyable read..peace.
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before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 December 2016 at 7:16pm
Lol...yeah, it's not particularly my preferred topic/genre but it's one you're very comfortable and effective in. You have that confidence/swagger that runs throughout and I always look for people to get that 'attitude' across in the tone/word selection which you have a clear grasp of and handle on. Not going to do highlights, lol.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote HI-Z Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 December 2016 at 9:13am
Ahaha yo the chest cavity line was fuckin great bro lmao, you had my ass rollin. Decent drop here it's both disgusting and dope, it's disdoping
Lol, Seriously tho well done homie.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 January 2017 at 5:00am
I'll turn a bitch's bones into a shin splinted tourniquet
^^Excellent opening line
Burn this bitch nd detonate a bomb that'll turn her t' crisps
Use her shirt and limbs to paint a portrait of pulchritude
Bolt her, glue ancient relics of Astonia through her vocal tubes
^^ strong execution of flow and word placement dude

Have her muffling that Stick while whistling it in Onomatopoeia
"Ahhh Nommm Ah Top Eeee ahhh " Screaming "Im on top of D yah"
^^Lmaooo!! You a fool for this!
Im on top of depravity raping it like an insane bastard
A mirage of sanity as i use her chest cavity as a concave'd placard
ClapNice. I enjoyed this drop fully bro


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