Open Mic: [Word drop 7] Butcher Cuts |
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SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 05 January 2017 at 5:50pm |
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All of this is nice! That last line is dope tho. I'm not a Street Fighter fan, but I appreciate the imagery.
Shit is kinda dope, Que. Like you hardly ever drop in the OM so it's nice to see that when you finally do it's like a lit fuse. I'm feel it.
I like how you worded and crafted the flow here. It adds extra power to the punchline.
Eh...idk about the play on "onomatopoeia". Also, did you intended to spell it that way? Anyway, as a whole this was definitely a pleasant read. You gotta drop more often, bruh. Your stuff is entertaining. Peace... |
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Que you are still a beast...still got that signature style & that razor edge. You know I've always been a massive fan...that attitude still seeps through. You've still got all the components, this was ripe. Instant vet status.
Big respect for running through & feeding back on all the other drops as well, that was real classy & a great example to others. P.S. loved that Soul Reaver shit...I joke about that with Endeavor all the time!!
Edited by Cuba - 04 January 2017 at 9:14pm |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Yep this is impressive,your use of keywords here had a real natural vibe to them,
the whole verse rolled of my tongue on reading,the k/words didn't seem like a challenge to you,your flow was crisp and sparkling clean helped by some nice multi's,and your vocab was a joy also,your wording also contributed to the natural feel of this piece,in fact i can't find any fault here plus I feel this is a real contender for this challenge,oh and great use of the word tourniquet..a real ripe verse and an enjoyable read with good imagery..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Nice opener here Que. Microbial dirty bombs? Jesus fucksack. Gingivitis in the spotlight lol. Nice Que break wordplay. That was nice. Nice usage of the vocabulary and flow was pretty good. I liked the multi-internals and the switch ups.
Overall, This is pretty clean. Write more you chump!!! Get back on and write . |
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-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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My absence? Hmmff!!! A mere Depravity of Savegery..... Spit microbial dirty bombs that'll detonate in all yah cavities! Watch Que BREAK the Strongest Street Rappers! Its Like I'm Ryu spinnin backwards kickin thru concrete Placards! Pure Pulchritude when I Mulch a dude And you Vultures Too! Pullin hoe cards in Multitudes!! Knowin the Art of War when I Sculpt a crew! Kill a whale like crooked casinos you Sanguine men face the Flame pen... No Mirage I'm soul reavin.... me and Satan Tastin the Same Sins..... Weaponry Relic-ish!....old blades'll still slay a jealous bitch!! A murderer wit many bodies and I don't have to imbelish shit! Put a Tourniquet on yuh thoughts, Vocab on auto-slaughter see a..... Fluid written imagery of death form like Otomatopoeia!!!! |
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