Open Mic: [KOTM] Like Water [KOTM] |
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Neek 
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Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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 Topic: [KOTM] Like Water [KOTM]Posted: 09 May 2017 at 5:42pm |
 the last breed of many one of a kinds lived a hundred lives before the Hun arrived highlander, lone survivor, cultured swine despise self, but felt hate for them, multiplied. I hunt tyrants, liars, thieves - falsified as all divine revolted by, the thought that i'm, only trife til I heard of a tribe whose purpose aligned surprised - I dug further, uncovered murders of men who deserved it, secret society insurance the works of, millennia, similiar to my own burdens S.W.O.R.D.. Social Warriors Of Righteous Deeds sits right with me, inscribed the creed, id like to meet. they laid up in the himalayas, segregated I entered the reservation, hoping to be initiated introductions became litigation, incentive basis? economics, the plot is - condemning communism China to become a problem for 'em, clock it tickin whats my involvement? I get the hollywood ticket can't label a country as rotten and viscious if 1 of their own is loved as holidays and christmas Bruce Lee gets a bodybag before vietnam is finished thats my calculated mission, so im california livin' followed him, never for long, just momentary visits slowly showing characterics of a growing sickness bound for Hong Kong, I was going on offensive routine to the dentist, slipped syanide in syringes later that night, at 9:59, pronounced dead in minutes I finished my task, restored order to the worlds interest been sword ever since, and ive been sworn to defend it. |
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#Bananas
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 09 May 2017 at 6:16pm |
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I don't want to break all the entries down, because I'll have to give an opinionated synopsis of each one anyway when the winner is decided. BUT ... BUT ...BUBUBUBUT ... this shit here
^ Bodybag. Cause of death:187. Please, let us all bow our heads and close our eyes in a moment of silence. |
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 09 May 2017 at 7:00pm |
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this was dope as fuck man.
that opener first off was raw as hell: "the last breed of many one of a kinds lived a hundred lives before the Hun arrived" its a quick detailed description of the person. a lot of infor in 2 lines this is going to have too many quotables, lol cuz this was dope too "I hunt tyrants, liars, thieves - falsified as all divine revolted by, the thought that i'm, only trife til I heard of a tribe whose purpose aligned" I like the wording of that, really smooth read. "S.W.O.R.D.. Social Warriors Of Righteous Deeds sits right with me, inscribed the creed, id like to meet." we getting to the meat now. this was fire right here "followed him, never for long, just momentary visits slowly showing characterics of a growing sickness bound for Hong Kong, I was going on offensive routine to the dentist, slipped syanide in syringes later that night, at 9:59, pronounced dead in minutes" the flow and schemes there with heavy content. its an elaborate story of the mission in just 5 bars. best 5 bars of the whole thing imo. and then you just have a raw ass fucking closer saying you made it into the squad. "I finished my task, restored order to the worlds interest been sword ever since, and ive been sworn to defend it." ok, nvm, those were my 2 fav bars, I lied earlier. it just rolls off the tongue. nice job here man. overall this was a solid entry into the kotm, im glad to see you competing! Guess ima have to get to writing, I cant have you being the only one reppin the squad.
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Jimmy2Dope
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Joined: 17 May 2017 Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Posted: 17 May 2017 at 6:04pm |
Completely solid rhyme scheme, with a solid grip on the story. Kept me interested the whole time, while still packing a punch with the delivery. Overall an awesome piece, good job. 
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economics, the plot is - condemning communism