Open Mic: " Boredom or Truth"

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Exoduzt View Drop Down
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    Posted: 30 May 2017 at 4:09am


The stars alined are far behind mars's shine-
Walmart shopping carts collide to tarnish pride-
The weight of who has the smartest mind-
is on a far decline of the largest kind-
So I sharpen knives that aren't mine-
pardon my carpets grime of shards & time-
All the blood and sweat is partly mine-
I roll through life like its' party time!-
a lonely fish that will chase the farthest line-
Take the boldest sniff as my heart decides-
Is this my art or die, Bob Ross it or tarnish skies-
As I crash land my life like a martians ride-
It's hard to find a meaning behind these stupid reasons- 
Fake excuses is the proof that I'm truly feigning-
I call it loosely dreaming controlled by a ruthless demon
The truth is if the shoe fits MEAN IT, I'm a worthless human being-
All I'm seeing is pills & dust , mix it with my will & lust
As I get the chills & such, plus every time I fill my cup-
Listen This is Chuck, and your really not missin' much 
My tank is on empty plus I'm really not givin' fucks!
Drink till I spill my guts, Can't pray if both my wrists in cuffs-
Got my girlfriend wishing that our life was "this is us"-

This shit just sucks!

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2017 at 4:14am
Technically consistent, multis strong throughout, stupid reasons to human being section came off nice. Dopest concept @ can't pray when my wrists are cuffed. Was a light read, content coulda been more hard hitting but this sorta on the surface visionals verse is a nice change from having to dissect and break apart complex verses and shit.

Something different, was cool
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Exoduzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 June 2017 at 1:43am
good looks nigma

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Stupendipidous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 June 2017 at 6:16pm
Well so short bars ay exo? Like it like it multis on point shirt bars and a short verse much has changed since I was here last good visuals and some mint concepts seems strange seeing a short piece from you strange in a good way seemed to end too soon tho would have like to see this progress somehow maybe it was just summin off the top of ya head either way content was good still got skills boi
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Exoduzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 June 2017 at 2:05am
good looks stoop

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 June 2017 at 1:29pm
Quote The stars alined are far behind mars's shine-
Walmart shopping carts collide to tarnish pride-
The weight of who has the smartest mind-
is on a far decline of the largest kind-
So I sharpen knives that aren't mine-
pardon my carpets grime of shards & time-
All the blood and sweat is partly mine-
I roll through life like its' party time!-
a lonely fish that will chase the farthest line-
Take the boldest sniff as my heart decides-
Is this my art or die, Bob Ross it or tarnish skies-
As I crash land my life like a martians ride
-
It's hard to find a meaning behind these stupid reasons- 
Fake excuses is the proof that I'm truly feigning-
I call it loosely dreaming controlled by a ruthless demon
The truth is if the shoe fits MEAN IT, I'm a worthless human being-
All I'm seeing is pills & dust , mix it with my will & lust
As I get the chills & such, plus every time I fill my cup-
Listen This is Chuck, and your really not missin' much 
My tank is on empty plus I'm really not givin' fucks!
Drink till I spill my guts, Can't pray if both my wrists in cuffs-
Got my girlfriend wishing that our life was "this is us"-

I swore I fed this already. The bold in the above quote really made me go back and re-read it before I continued on with the rest. The endlessness of multi gave it a lot of "umph" if you will. I read it with a "swing" like a Dre beat. It really shined when I did that. Going past that the swing still worked but not as great as before. Its not that it fell off, it was more of the beginning being that good. Overall, it was nice to see shorter bars from you man. It was something different and unique.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 June 2017 at 11:19pm
Before i feed this i just want to type damn this is nice..


The stars alined are far behind mars's shine-
Walmart shopping carts collide to tarnish pride-
The weight of who has the smartest mind-
is on a far decline of the largest kind-
So I sharpen knives that aren't mine-
pardon my carpets grime of shards & time-
All the blood and sweat is partly mine-
I roll through life like its' party time!-
a lonely fish that will chase the farthest line-
Take the boldest sniff as my heart decides-
Is this my art or die, Bob Ross it or tarnish skies-
As I crash land my life like a martians ride-

(this is a solid segment,liked the poetic approach here,and the flow and vibe was
a highlight also,loved the walmart/trolley/tarnish line,you seem to be saying shit
loads via the minimalist approach,your metaphores/similes are also in order they
came off as fresh and unforced too,yep I'm really liking this display of pen game..)

It's hard to find a meaning behind these stupid reasons-
Fake excuses is the proof that I'm truly feigning-
I call it loosely dreaming controlled by a ruthless demon
The truth is if the shoe fits MEAN IT, I'm a worthless human being-
All I'm seeing is pills & dust , mix it with my will & lust
As I get the chills & such, plus every time I fill my cup-
Listen This is Chuck, and your really not missin' much
My tank is on empty plus I'm really not givin' fucks!
Drink till I spill my guts, Can't pray if both my wrists in cuffs-
Got my girlfriend wishing that our life was "this is us"-

This shit just sucks!

(yeah the imagery was forceful here,evoked some clear scenes as i was reading,like
the first half this is in the same vein which show it was a consistent piece with no lulls,
plus the word placements/choices were ripe too,the contents/vocab was engaging all
topped by a good sprinkling of multi's,i could on and on with the mechanics this and
the rhyme schemes that,but i wont (as for fear off causing harm to me rep..lol),all
that's left to say is this was an enjoyable read in its entirety..Ripe work thanks for
sharing..)..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote nomedic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 June 2017 at 11:32pm
Reading this I just thought of a joint the roots did title dear god well foremost for the beat and the content you had here was thought provoking I always respect a self introspective written it makes it worth your while reading cause you never never know who's going what you're through so this was fire IMO dope droo
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 June 2017 at 12:35am
yeah, classic Exo. Polished mechanics with that ruff flow. Some cool angles played here. Nothing that hasnt been said already. I want to see you try a short bar drop flexing. You dank sonz

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 June 2017 at 10:45pm

Quote The stars alined are far behind mars's shine-
Walmart shopping carts collide to tarnish pride-
The weight of who has the smartest mind-
is on a far decline of the largest kind-
So I sharpen knives that aren't mine-
pardon my carpets grime of shards & time-


In the immortal words of Bruce Lee, "...be like wahter" and you my friend are just that with the pen game . A high quality H2O writer. Seriously. This was pure liquid flames in written form. Flows for days.


Quote All the blood and sweat is partly mine-
I roll through life like its' party time!-
a lonely fish that will chase the farthest line-
Take the boldest sniff as my heart decides-
Is this my art or die, Bob Ross it or tarnish skies-
As I crash land my life like a martians ride-
It's hard to find a meaning behind these stupid reasons- 
Fake excuses is the proof that I'm truly feigning-
I call it loosely dreaming controlled by a ruthless demon
The truth is if the shoe fits MEAN IT, I'm a worthless human being-
All I'm seeing is pills & dust , mix it with my will & lust
As I get the chills & such, plus every time I fill my cup-
Listen This is Chuck, and your really not missin' much 
My tank is on empty plus I'm really not givin' fucks!
Drink till I spill my guts, Can't pray if both my wrists in cuffs-
Got my girlfriend wishing that our life was "this is us"-

This shit just sucks!


There was a lot of disjointed imagery and loose phraseology in this joint, but I felt it all. Silky smooth writing with a pinch of reality and no fucks given attitude. Classic Duzt shit.

I'm in awe of you technique my dude.

Peace and blessings...
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