Open Mic: Pretty Lil Thing - Part 1

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   Got this pretty lil thing, know she's diggin my style,cuz if she wasn't diggin my style she wouldn't smile the way that she smiles//
Shes 'upper class', with 'ghetto' ass,
talks about the future all the time, yet dwells on my past//
she's shy and harmless, but her looks...could kill,
reserved in every way, 'cept spendin her bills//
She's got a way to make me forgive and forget,
Asks me the details bout the club, but never who I was wit//
She could be dolled up, decked out, or half awake,
I cant describe it to ya...
She's a natural beauty without her face bein caked/
Every move she makes//
Best believe I'm gon let her,
got me puttin the phone down after every conversation...thinkin what I coulda done better//
She's a ghost to most, she keeps to herself,
Got me preparing ta speak while I'm talking to myself//
Constantly teasin, shes the reason I'm bleedin,
Already gotta nest full a birdies, but she's the one I be needin//
She's salsa meets hip-hop, you know, black hair and green eyes,
and the way she moves her hips its like she's gotta hula-hoop swishin 'round her thighs//

...

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EcK Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 23 June 2017 Status: Offline Points: 31 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L	Post Options Post Reply Quote EcK Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Pretty Lil Thing - Part 1 Posted: 21 July 2017 at 11:46pm
	Got this pretty lil thing, know she's diggin my style, cuz if she wasn't diggin my style she wouldn't smile the way that she smiles// Shes 'upper class', with 'ghetto' ass, talks about the future all the time, yet dwells on my past// she's shy and harmless, but her looks...could kill, reserved in every way, 'cept spendin her bills// She's got a way to make me forgive and forget, Asks me the details bout the club, but never who I was wit// She could be dolled up, decked out, or half awake, I cant describe it to ya... She's a natural beauty without her face bein caked/ Every move she makes// Best believe I'm gon let her, got me puttin the phone down after every conversation...thinkin what I coulda done better// She's a ghost to most, she keeps to herself, Got me preparing ta speak while I'm talking to myself// Constantly teasin, shes the reason I'm bleedin, Already gotta nest full a birdies, but she's the one I be needin// She's salsa meets hip-hop, you know, black hair and green eyes, and the way she moves her hips its like she's gotta hula-hoop swishin 'round her thighs// ...

Cuba Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Cuba Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 23 July 2017 at 4:46pm
	This was a cool drop, relatively simple but I liked the way you progressed your descriptions. I'd like to see you bring a bit more personality into it - like if you were to go & read the Topical title match-up you can see some of the details those guys add to really make the scene come to life. Obviously they have really complex rhyme schemes that I wouldn't expect you to nail but that's life. Keep dropping and feeding.


EcK Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 23 June 2017 Status: Offline Points: 31 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L	Post Options Post Reply Quote EcK Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 24 July 2017 at 6:25pm
	'preciate the feedback Cuba