Open Mic: locked away

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   Not bad, the potential is really there. It was short as hell but I thought it actually was constructed pretty straight to the point. Wish there was more. 

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iLL ScriptureZ Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote iLL ScriptureZ Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: locked away Posted: 07 September 2017 at 3:46pm
	Not bad, the potential is really there. It was short as hell but I thought it actually was constructed pretty straight to the point. Wish there was more.

Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03 September 2017 at 11:29am
	Short and sweet read that came off as a keystyle to me,I liked the ying and yang scenario here,(good/bad,jail/time,police/crime),was good as comparisons go,i also liked the overall theme too,although not a totally orignal in content you did bring a different slant as such to this subject matter,it hard to draw a true opinion here via the length of this piece,but i feel a few inner rhymes or multi's would help no ends,as it felt mono or flat on reading and these elements would make it stand up and out to a reader,still a quick and decent read overall,just a little to short to go in depth at this stage..peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

Agent Orange Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 02 September 2017 Location: BC, Canada Status: Offline Points: 4	Post Options Post Reply Quote Agent Orange Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02 September 2017 at 5:51am
	I was locked away for a lot of days, Forgot God, and my honest ways, Thought I was on top, but I had lost my faith.. you gotta get paid, the cops didn't understand how I operate fuck the police, why cooperate got done for three, when I got locked away, I learned a lot that day.. Jail changed me, well, who I am today it made me, People thought I was wasting..
	It's just me against the world..