Open Mic: Reminiscing

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   Wanted to share something on my mind. I wrote this over a couple months, occasionally opening it and editing a few lines. You can still feed if you want but I get in my emotions here. I read it very specifically so hopefully the punctuation and pauses help set the pace.

Thanks.

____________

Your funeral was beautiful it showed who you were
Or who you are, I don't even have the words
Five years since I last saw you, knowing that it hurts
Didn't know you enough to know you were cursed
Know you were hurt 
I was bad as a kid, didn't know you were worse
Now the last time I see you in the back of a hearse?!
{pause}

Only lost one friend but I guess we'll see
I know we will
Some will die and some will kill
Some will sigh and just pop pills
Go deranged, insane, people change...
{pause}

I hope I do
Because I've been feeling a bit like you
Not that I could ever fit your shoe
But understand mine are big too...
I'm no one; going no where slow
Most my days have been so low
Only lately have highs
Narcotics excluded, though I used em
Temporary relief through substance abuses,
I mean the love of my life
An illusion, let's me know it's alright
Or is she real, with a smile so bright
Light up the darkness in my mind
Without her I'd still be blind and,
stuck mesmerised by the disguised
Pretending they care, and
Pretending they're there, and
Pretending I don't see 'em stare
When I lay myself bare!
{pause}

When I was you, seventeen, believe I made myself bleed...
But you were more dedicated than me
I don't get it, why did you leave?
What did he see?
A light at the end or flashing red
Of the ambulance rushing to see him dead?
Back to life on the brink of death
Brain dead in a hospital bed
Kept alive by machines
Organs fail, is this a dream?
I JUST WANNA...scream
Wake up! (       ), wake up!
Wake up! (       ), please wake up...
Please let this be a nightmare
I never pictured a life where
I lose a friend, it ain't right, it ain't fair
{pause}

When I found out...don't think I slept
Before then been years since I wept
I wish that's how I could've left it
Couldn't tell anyone so I swept it
{pause}

Under the rug
Wish we hug more
Or maybe just once
Maybe just love
And it woulda been done
Coulda been fine
Not pressed for time
Stressed out our minds
Get old and alzheims
...a horrible thing to wish for
But at least you would've lived more
{pause}

Who am I to say what you should've done...
I knew I'd lose people T...
I just wish you weren't the first one

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Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Reminiscing Posted: 14 October 2017 at 11:44pm
	Wanted to share something on my mind. I wrote this over a couple months, occasionally opening it and editing a few lines. You can still feed if you want but I get in my emotions here. I read it very specifically so hopefully the punctuation and pauses help set the pace. Thanks. ____________ Your funeral was beautiful it showed who you were Or who you are, I don't even have the words Five years since I last saw you, knowing that it hurts Didn't know you enough to know you were cursed Know you were hurt I was bad as a kid, didn't know you were worse Now the last time I see you in the back of a hearse?! {pause} Only lost one friend but I guess we'll see I know we will Some will die and some will kill Some will sigh and just pop pills Go deranged, insane, people change... {pause} I hope I do Because I've been feeling a bit like you Not that I could ever fit your shoe But understand mine are big too... I'm no one; going no where slow Most my days have been so low Only lately have highs Narcotics excluded, though I used em Temporary relief through substance abuses, I mean the love of my life An illusion, let's me know it's alright Or is she real, with a smile so bright Light up the darkness in my mind Without her I'd still be blind and, stuck mesmerised by the disguised Pretending they care, and Pretending they're there, and Pretending I don't see 'em stare When I lay myself bare! {pause} When I was you, seventeen, believe I made myself bleed... But you were more dedicated than me I don't get it, why did you leave? What did he see? A light at the end or flashing red Of the ambulance rushing to see him dead? Back to life on the brink of death Brain dead in a hospital bed Kept alive by machines Organs fail, is this a dream? I JUST WANNA...scream Wake up! ( ), wake up! Wake up! ( ), please wake up... Please let this be a nightmare I never pictured a life where I lose a friend, it ain't right, it ain't fair {pause} When I found out...don't think I slept Before then been years since I wept I wish that's how I could've left it Couldn't tell anyone so I swept it {pause} Under the rug Wish we hug more Or maybe just once Maybe just love And it woulda been done Coulda been fine Not pressed for time Stressed out our minds Get old and alzheims ...a horrible thing to wish for But at least you would've lived more {pause} Who am I to say what you should've done... I knew I'd lose people T... I just wish you weren't the first one
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

spume corrupt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote spume corrupt Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 October 2017 at 12:45am
	Never seen your stuff before bro.... Gotta tell you this kinda writing is why I love the art You absolutely nailed this Nothing felt fake or forced the emotions were next level Outstanding


Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 October 2017 at 2:14am
	Appreciate that. I lurk a bit now but don't post much anymore. Not as much spare time on my hands. I still write stuff but it never leads to anything.
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

Who-Is-You? Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 03 October 2017 Status: Offline Points: 89 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-0 Form: WW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Who-Is-You? Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 October 2017 at 2:19am
	This is great writing. You've definitely crafted a style which is unique too. I was a bit confused though of who this was about. At one point it seems that you are talking to a friend. maybe a homie or something. But then on the part I'm about to paste, it seems you are talking to a woman Wish we hug more Or maybe just once Maybe just love And it woulda been done Coulda been fine Not pressed for time Stressed out our minds Get old and alzheims ...a horrible thing to wish for But at least you would've lived more So yes, I wasn't sure. But still, the literature and way you lay it out is enjoyable to read.

Bazooka bastard Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 30 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 108 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL	Post Options Post Reply Quote Bazooka bastard Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 October 2017 at 12:14am
	In all honesty, being seriously sad about something as the basis of your writing really makes my dick limp. However, I could really imagine this goin down well at a funeral, seemed extremely genuine & it's probably done you some good to get it out. Right on sister! My only criticism would be lack of scientific evidence of the curse.

Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 October 2017 at 9:35am
	The youngest brother of a family of 4 I grew up with as kids took his life earlier this year. Hadn't seen them in 5 years until the funeral, so in my memory he was still 13...it's not all directed to him, it's sort of disjointed pieces of my mind and thoughts when I was trying to process his passing. It's to him, about him, about me. I don't use love as in "I'm in love with you". It's my understanding he didn't feel like he had a purpose in life, I feel that if he received a bit more direct 'love' - companionship, compassion, friends - he would still be here. "Wish we hug more" is both me saying I wish I saw them more often and I wish humans as a whole showed more love to one another and were more open. "or maybe just once" is me saying maybe just one act of sincerity and love could have saved him... Thanks.
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.

Absolute Abomination Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Absolute Abomination Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 October 2017 at 9:37am
	I'm not sure what you mean when you mention the lack of scientific evidence. Thanks anyway.
	Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.