Open Mic: Deleted. |
Post Reply |
Author | |
SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
Post Options
Likes(1)
Posted: 05 February 2018 at 4:19pm |
Preferred viewing: A dark screen/skin
The east wing of the copper-toned facility was a sleek and eco-friendly structure, comprised of recycled glass plates That provided panoramic views of the scenic landscape A suspended walkway, that streched high above a slow winding river to supply a transparent bridge between the coleridge and clinic It was cold in September, though the snow hadn't fallen but those autumn winds blew, and shook the oak, spruce & ponderosa trees at the bottom, near a Rocky Mountain lodge where each staff member lived in a modernized cottage At the far end of the crossing was a holographic guide of a model's height and size, who had a beautiful complexion and some aqua blue eyes, her bosom was impressive & impossible to hide behind her pixelated dress, which was virgin shaded white and curvaceously designed, she was basically a "dime" As that verbage would suggest: a perfect version of her sex A simulated Kristine leahy without makeup and more breasts "Hello, gorgeous." "Hi, I'm Beth." "Nice to meet you. My name's Jeff." "I'll escort you, mind your step" Next the sliding doors opened and she told me to go left Blown away and so impressed with the incredible inside full of high tech features that were geniusly devised The interior was white - ultra modern - WiFi lights and a wired-in device that could monitor my mood and compute my vital signs via sensors in the room "Is this facility brand new?" "We just finished it in June." Replied the flickering assistant as the interfance grew "If my appearance seems unsmooth or electrically confused it's the instruments and tools and the signals they produce near essential base equipment that's intrinsically infused with the system's CPU & a neural network that is intricate & huge." As a student, I like Newton, tried to visualize the rules "You exist inside a cube?" "That's invisible to you." "Than it's kind of like a soul?" "Artificially induced." "And this image is all coding?" "Although, limitless as 'YOU', because my program's algorithm is as infinite as two ... intersecting loops horizontally construed." "That's an introspective view and admittedly acute." She seemed really quite assumed as she quickly interjected with... "What is it that you do?" "I'm the founder of a school called the Human Institute." "I just googled what you meantioned. Your initiative is listed as, 'Trying to find God through the gift of Quantum Physics'." Her inquisitive pursuit was both interesting and cute she continued with a question that was innocently shrewed "And what brings you to our clinic?" "I've heard rumors you've invented..." ("Well, the principal inventor is really Dr. Schreber.") "...a 'Morpheus Machine'. That can augment a thought and re-engineer the scenes of a memory or dream." "It's a serious procedure. Are you sure we should proceed?" Said a silver-haired senior (who looked good for 63) wearing cybernetic glassess and a 'Dark City' tee with a long labcoat over sharp diem jeans that he cropped at the bottom near his posh Nike sneaks "Hello, Dr. Schreber. So finally we meet." "I know Mr. Barish .. of what it is you seek." He stared me in the eyes "I advice you to rethink... because this scientific treatment is entirely unique." "Does it wipe my mind clean?" "Of every single thing that was Bryan and Denice." "I'm resigning in a week.Then I'm flying right to Greece to live my life on a beach, that resides in between ...Mykonos and Crete in the ol' Aegean Sea. Where my anonymity will ensure I'll never be greeted by mementos of my murdered wife and teen." "I have heard you and I see that you mean what you speak." ...He sent me to his lab... "Would you please take a seat? ...I did what I was asked... "You'll be sleep in a blink." ...He slipped on the mask... "When this sequence is completed you'll be free of all your grief ...but first you need to think of a perfect Memory." I see Bryan at the beach."tie your shoes", said Denice. The summer sun sinks and a dove gets released. Then suddenly there's peace... Delete. Cast: Jeff Barish, B.E.T.H. (Biometricly Engineered Transrobotic Hologram), Dr. Schreber |
|
Lord Puente
Newbie Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Bro. This concept was beyond dope. Don’t got the time to do a full in depth feed. The concept was genius and cool as fuck. There was great description/imagery. Everything flowed so smoothly, and it was set up beautifully. Nice twist at the end for what it actually did.
Solid fucking job. |
|
|
|
SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Good looking out, L. I appreciate that, my dude.
|
|
spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Brother you know already I’m a big fan of yo work in the main
So I will keep One Hun wit you.... I absolutely fucking hated this stuff....to the. .....core If you explained it to me I’m positive I still wouldn’t care And I say this uneasily cos I do respect the SA You been dumping heavy lately fam! No doubt work from other sites and maybe this type of tripe fly’s well over beyond but I feel you are loosing the vibe of LA and what we do here Maybe you should drop some feed and contribute beyond dump overload, it will prob help you re connect with this site and remind you of your own versatility? Plus your knowledge is something else we love bout you All love main |
|
|
|
SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Ouch.
My soul is crushed. Lol. Nah, I hear ya, Spume. I'll get back to flexing soon enough. I just have some other places I would like to take my mind to until newer inspiration hits. As for feed, I'm always down to give a helping hand. Just been stuck somewhere in between being way too busy and feeling way too mentally fatigued and lazy. Thus is is life. But word. I feel you.
|
|
spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Your input to this site has been exemplary and invaluable brother
I only say stuff like this to people who I think are worth the effort No doubt I get the multitude of variables a healthy life can throw up, so I got no judgement on anyone’s constraints Just looking out for my house! You know As for the written...... I still don’t like it! Spect |
|
|
|
SELF ACTIVATE
Standard Member Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
I know where you're coming from. So no hard feelings, my guy. It's all love and respect.
|
|
Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
lol....@Spume,he's a card and a live one eh...
Well well,to be honest the majority of this piece showed some pure brilliance via progression of details and imagery,and the integration of the 3 main characters was done rather well, a highlight in their own right to be fair,you certainly had the nib rub on creative mode here,another thing I noticed (and to be totally honest i didn't see it until the 2nd read),was how your loose rhyme scheme coupled with subtle multis created an unusual but highly intriguing concept in this verse,so i do honestly applaud you there, you brought something different with that inco- rporation,there was some draw backs within though, the start seemed to me to be a little spatial,it came off still as solid,but solid being in the way of rocky, this also displayed some subtle emotions too,and with the originalnality of the slant and the schemes,i'll happily over look the opening gripe i had,this was a real ripe outting here from you,a read which gave me a lot of pleasure not just the story,but also the creative element which you brought along too,tremendous piece...peace. |
|
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
|
Post Reply | |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|