Audio Mic: Lies ft. Ronnjay |
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The Rap Daemon
Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL |
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Posted: 13 March 2018 at 2:23pm |
Yeah, TUBE code still not working.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V91bFrS36JY&t=2s Been crying myself to sleep, I try to suggest That my life is a blessing and in time it will get Better 'coz I'm worth it like wine is I guess But it's all a dream, fake views, damn I'm 'lying' in bed If I told you I was fine you'd believe it 'Coz these drugs got me high you can see it Suicide bomber I'mma die for this religion 'Coz me at the top's a fucking lie which I'm preaching You can decline that I'm in a rainstorm And say I'm shining, and I'll be grateful I appreciate all your support But you're just co-'signing' what is fake 'form' So how can I play the 'good one' and apply the signature? Without this ink going haywire then stiffen up With lies all over you've seen what I administer I'm nothing in this game but wild and sinister (Hook) (VERSE 2: Ronnjay) Should I be sincere? I've tried, but it's useless far as I know She's been fed too many lies, and now the truth is hard to swallow I didn't mean to bruise her heart at all, though She was the one that caught my eye, yet now her movement's hard to follow With the right personality, I'd be a valiant knight fighting so gallantly Against any dragon or giant trying to challenge me! I'd die in reality But in my mind, I'd stab 'em multiple times and watch 'em suffer a violent fatality For this gal to see, so I used a flawed gimmick 'stead of being authenticl It was all a false image! Still, I hung it up right in the gallery I coulda relied on my talent, but you wanna know why that's a fallacy? Cause being a rapper's invalid unless you're the one with the highest salary So I thought that I could impress her by playing a wannabe when honesty was all that it took Said that I lived in the South in my own house, and she wanted to look She found out I was an overgrown male staying with my mom, which told its own tale like an audiobook (Hook) (OUTRO: Alternating turns) Don't just try to trace me! Get chasing me cause I need someone to save me from this make belief Until I end up breaking free and all the ones who had faith in me can finally breathe a sigh of great relief You can be my best hit when I'm scoring empty strikes cause I'm telling a lie? Story of my life And you know that morals are merely more rules to defy, so I'd be telling a lie if I said I never told a story in my life I don't have any feelings, but I need a blessing today, so I need a grasp on my love cause mine is empty and fake In a world driven by hate, we all can fricken relate! Can't watch our lovers suffer another fucking miserable fate Feel like I'm cracking inside of my own casket and dammit! I put all my eggs into one basket But we both told the truth, so it's time to bury the hatchet! First, we'll start with our loved ones, and then *track fades out* |
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Faggot
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Titu
Superior Member Joined: 04 July 2013 Location: 🔥 Hell 🔥 Status: Offline Points: 4522 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-19-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Your flow needs some work, bro. Stick to 90-100 bpm beats till you get it down. Write over the beats. Dont write and then try to force it on an instrumenta. If you need help with anything in specific, leme know.
Where are you from btw?
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Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.
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The Rap Daemon
Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL |
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London bro' I'm new to tracks so I'm learning as I go...
Sorry for this time of reply but I took time to get myself used to counting the beat to write bars that fit because I knew it was an issue. This was just my first wave of giving it a go so I should be able to address flow for my next release whenever that may be. Thanks for the feed', I saw it back then so apologies for only getting back now, it was greatly appreciated and I definitely took it seriously. |
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Faggot
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D.Von Doom
Standard Member Joined: 18 June 2014 Status: Offline Points: 1534 Audio Rank: #1 Stats: 15-4-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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The content is there and the lyrics are there. Delievery and finding that pocket is what I would work on. Cutting some words out to fit the pocket is a reality in audio bro. Unless you royce da 5'9 it and make the next bar start with the end rhyme. Just keep going bro. Experience is the best teacher
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I can only fall off in space...
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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yeah this shit was alright. the beat was dope to me.. I wasnt over the moon about the vocal sample.
I liked that you attempted to use pauses to break up some of your lines, in particular the "cause..." one. I liked how you meshed grateful and rainstorm. I did find that it felt robotic at points (I get the songs kinda old-ish) but thatll smooth out over time. your buddy has a cool audible sound. I think hed benefit greatly from a different style as far as flow and rhyme scheme go. I found that he was forcing a certain pattern, but if he broke it up or even switched it up.. hed be wild. anyway my two abes for the day. |
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#Bananas
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