Open Mic: No Title Needed Feat. Ill ScriptureZ |
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Dave Infinite
Banned Joined: 14 August 2018 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 153 |
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Posted: 15 August 2018 at 5:43pm |
~ Ill ScriptureZ ~ Every feature I appear on is gruesome & dope Beautifully wrote go together like Cuba & coke Shower blood over myself like a loofah & soap Brutal & broke, I set the fire in Lucifer’s throat Only muhfucka on a beat to choke a musical note Proven to ruin any human approach Secluded from folks, steady exclusive & ghost Other verses on collabs I’m Putin to most Workin’ in the lab, half mutant & G.O.A.T. Hangin’ on every word never loosen the rope Though a lot of y’all trash pollutin’ the globe The axe is the same as an executioner holds Combat from these raw raps written for leisure Scriptz is The Reaper, dead bodies hidden in freezers Sinner & creeper, spittin’ what lit up a heater Sick with a clever split’em like the shit is procedure Dave Infinite wishin’ he’d never give him a feature! ~ Dave Infinite ~ You're about to witness an intricate and significant Ill-Infinite tandem
This memorandum features random an peridoc sarcasm like Yeah you just as nice as scripturez on the Mic, I can't do it, syke I'm psyched swinging bats that's spiked like porcupines Crack spines the designs of the rhymes intertwines and combines We are snatching bitches hearts and not talking valentine's Introducing the evolution of the gruesome twosome infinite & scriptz will never loosen there grips the imprints Of our finger tips are evidence on this apocalypse so be convinced we exist Permeating out of the deepest abyss Our illness is a testament to our brilliance so dont test the resilience Of our candor because even an innocent bystander Can be victimized by our slander swinging our grammar Like it's a sledgehammer names affixed to the stages banner We just upped the swagger to a new standard It will be a disaster if you try after so good luck to those who try to answer |
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Every feature I appear on is gruesome & dope
Beautifully wrote go together like Cuba & coke _____________________________________ This was dope Shower blood over myself like a loofah & soap Brutal & broke, I set the fire in Lucifer’s throat _______________________________ Loofa and soap, so dope Only muhfucka on a beat to choke a musical note Proven to ruin any human approach Secluded from folks, steady exclusive & ghost Other verses on collabs I’m Putin to most _________________________________ You are fucking silly dude Workin’ in the lab, half mutant & G.O.A.T. Hangin’ on every word never loosen the rope Though a lot of y’all trash pollutin’ the globe The axe is the same as an executioner holds ______________________________________ God damn Combat from these raw raps written for leisure Scriptz is The Reaper, dead bodies hidden in freezers Sinner & creeper, spittin’ what lit up a heater Sick with a clever split’em like the shit is procedure Dave Infinite wishin’ he’d never give him a feature! __________________________________________________ This is why you are a savage. Your multis and choice of words is nasty. Dope shit here. per usual. ~ Dave Infinite ~ You're about to witness an intricate and significant Ill-Infinite tandem This memorandum features random an peridoc sarcasm like _________________________________________________________ Im not getting this. Forced and you can cut out alot of words to make this more tight. Its not always good to drop vocabulary like this. Yeah you just as nice as scripturez on the Mic, I can't do it, syke I'm psyched swinging bats that's spiked like porcupines Crack spines the designs of the rhymes intertwines and combines We are snatching bitches hearts and not talking valentine's ____________________________________________________ Work on your multis, if you look at Ills verse, you see tons of them. You have a grasp on basic rhyming. thats good Introducing the evolution of the gruesome twosome infinite & scriptz will never loosen there grips the imprints Of our finger tips are evidentnce on this apocalypse so be convinced we exist Permeating out of the deepest abyss Our illness is a testament to our brilliance so dont test the resilience Of our candor because even an innocent bystander Can be victimized by our slander swinging our grammar Like it's a sledgehammer names affixed to the stages banner We just upped the swagger to a new standard It will be a disaster if you try after so good luck to those who try to answer ___________________________________________________________ I was hoping for something more outta your verse. You have the vocabulary to write and some basics on rhyming but you need to working on internals (rhymes mid sentence), Transitions (Ryhmes that transition into a new scheme), Multis (Rhyming multiple syllables) and flow which is usually the result of a good grasp on rhyming and cutting out forced vocabulary. |
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Word Dizz, thanks for the time.
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Exo
I thought you was hold them end rhymes up to the end, even so the switch in the last four didn’t harm this beyond a slight glitch Was a nice easy and enjoyable read that looked very polished! Even though I know you would have thrown this together in less than an hour Dave I felt inspired to read your drop with emphasis on reading it quickly Then it all fell into placed and I saw the potential was good and the skills was evident I enjoyed reading this work as much as I did the other half of it and that saying something if you working with The Ill of theS........ I didn’t like the last line! It felt like it didn’t do justice to this otherwise decent drop It was a very dope little collab overall |
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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BRUH WHAT?
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Spume what fucking imaginary land are you living in?
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Thanks for the feedback on my feedback
Also and let me be clear Cloud 9 is not an imaginary place Elaborate further if either of you feel the need Air out those issues boys You may even gain some sympathy for this ordeal? |
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Omfg
What a stoner I am when I’m off work Scriptz honestly I don’t know how the I managed to call you Exo Apologies I’ll be honest I am trying to make something happen with Exo included at the moment So his name was in my head I guess No mistakes though I did know who I was feeding Scriptz when I wrote the feed Just a tongue twister kinda weird slip of the mind Damn I need to get my act together I’m an idiot and I got kids Not really I’m a good dad |
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Slip
Standard Member Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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Yo ILL this was a dope verse you dropped here it bounced nicely off the tongue whole way through
You had some nice lines to Only muhfucka on a beat to choke a musical note Thought that was sick ^^ Combat from these raw raps written for leisure Scriptz is The Reaper, dead bodies hidden in freezers Another bar I was really diggin, real raw right hurr ^^ And you passed it off nicely to the next verse Yo what up Dave welcome to the site You did a dope job on this verse a nice continuation here Introducing the evolution of the gruesome twosome infinite & scriptz will never loosen there grips the imprints Of our finger tips are evidence on this apocalypse so be convinced we exist Permeating out of the deepest abyss Thought these few lines were dope as fuck swinging our grammar Like it's a sledgehammer names affixed to the stages banner We just upped the swagger to a new standard It will be a disaster if you try after so good luck to those who try to answer You ended it off nicely here, it all flowed together pretty well Looking forward to seeing you elevate here |
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See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego
inner demon violent beast so warn the mother fucking people |
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Props Slip..
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