General Board: #p15 mag and reveal... |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 08 October 2019 at 9:27pm |
Well ppl it's been a while since I've last done a magazine, so bear with me here,
firstly i want to thank those who took part I hope you found it a challenge, if not hang about as this is a challenge that doesn't stay static, from time to time it'll take on a change so stay tuned, so as we all know, it's been pretty quite here at LA of late, so quite in fact that even the crickets fucked off at one point, still from rock bottom the only way now is up right?, i know i'm a legend, but shit at times i felt like Will Smith here.lol, anyways enough of that i just want to give a shout out to a couple of ppl, Doom Abomination DJ Flame Slip Mitch & Neek for being around through the bleakest era i've ever known, and some serious props going to DJ Flame for his Murder my Beat tourney, which may i add looks set to be a cracker!, so make sure ya'll kop that and vote, so on to our newest member Noumenon, this guy has come from nowhere and lite a small fire here at LA, and to be honest i now want to take this opportunity to thank him for that, the guy although a hand full is for me a breath of fresh air, i like him strangely, so to Noumenon i'll say, ride out the storm learn the etiquettes and things will even- tually feel like home, we also had a couple of older heads join us again so a quick shout to Concrete and Trizzy, welcome back fella's, now on to the verses... Mitch. Loved the direction of your story you fashioned here, of a sect/ cult and the young adult being the offering, because she strayed, pretty icy to get that out in 15 lines and still make it fill a complete verse, and this bar here was solid, "I take her to the church, Lay her where the voices say, Portray her in a way that entices disciples to prey" , it really did come off as edgy and morbid, for some reason it reminded me of that film Silence Of The Lambs on reading, it was in that realm of darkness to me, i also feel your verse did related to the image/picture real well too, nice work and a cool take on the image.. Slip. Your verse here came off like an old wives tale, a caution to kids not to wander off scenario, it felt on reading like it had an age about it as folklore's often do, like it was deep set within the locals residents psyche, as it has a breezy vibe that made it feel disposable at ones peril, it came off as quaint and mild when reading also, the flow was simple but worked as it gave it a layer of authenticity (as rhyme were basic , Ring a Ring Of Roses/Humpity Dumpity) that when delved have deeper meanings, i liked it cool verse.. Dizzle. Well straight off the bat the assonance kicks in here, and although simp- listic in its approach, you do have what i like to call pool lines, meaning you have to dive in and break the surface to get the deeper tones, or as others would call it, reading between the lines...lol, (it's also refreshing not reading you adding CHAINS alias within a verse too), you painted a picture of a child who is either disfigured/disabled or gifted in some way, and as the time frame suggests ppl are unable to comprehend or grasp it, like the child is either a prodigy or omen, and that's what i mean there more to this drop than meets the eye, nice verse.. Dntplywelwitothers. The poetic slant here was a cool inclusion, set the tone up nicely for the details thats to follow, which i could see and picture on reading quite clearly, the concept was nice too, (woods/trees) and it read pacy also, the highlight for me besides what i've stated already was the latter half of this piece, it was creative and cleverly done, i started to get the gist when i approached the golden locks part, and the ending was well, just pure class, i got a kick from this piece, i just wish you'd drop more OM's in general, Ripe verse.. Noumenon. Your take on the picture was one of a sadistic serial killer lurking in the woods, waiting in a predorty fashion for a victim to stray by, i liked the fact you brought a horror core angle here, in fact i'd put money on it being Dizzle to drop a horror piece, so imagine my surprise, the line about mixing brains to make porridge felt dark and morbid and dare i say gruesome, the "hotdog/ketchup" one although cold skated near to the bone for me, made me cringe, overall though it was cool verse.. So i think we can all agree on who the winner is this month, (if not that's too bad) whilst everyone came with a cool take on the picture, it's this guys concept that took it for me, other than that detail it was a close run race, so ppl give it up for "drum roll please", tatatatatatatatatatatatata tatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata....Dntplwelwitothers.. Next challenge will be up on the 13th of this month, and guys thanks for all your efforts here, yet again LA surprises me, in truth i was expecting only a couple of entries, you've done me proud boys......peace. Props to Cuba, that man management course you did a while back seems to have resonated your talent...your a Legend... Edited by Crimson Juice - 08 October 2019 at 10:24pm |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Mitch.Wagwaan
Groupie Joined: 21 June 2014 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 380 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-5-1 Form: LNLWWW |
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Nice Write up Crim! Enjoyed taking part and look forward to the next one. Respect for taking the time to set it up and take the time with your analysis.
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Cool read Crim. I am a fan
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Dntplywelwitothers
Groupie Joined: 30 November 2013 Status: Offline Points: 172 |
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Enjoyed your take on each verse Crim. Dope read. Appreciate your tyme and words.
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"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
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