Open Mic: Quarantine Sessions 2 |
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Goryo.
Groupie Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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Posted: 05 April 2020 at 7:05pm |
On the spectrum of crazy
I'm still ruling the grid... Feed coke to my pit bull then Release him in a school full of kids... I'm poppin' opiates to cloak The fuckin' hopelessness That flows through me... Then I dose with speed to go get groceries ... So what's the potency?... I got a metal bar... I sellotape it to my dick To fuck when I can't get it hard... With Pat Benatar... Playing on Alexa Cause I'm the heartbreaker When I say I'm gonna text ya Shit it ain't happening... You'll wonder where I've vanished when My icon isn't active Musta been a car crash again... I've hit the stash again... Scared as shit imagining A team with strait jackets Dressing me up like a mannequin Shit now I'm panicking They've thrown me in the van again Beating me and strangling Until my hands are banded with More passion than Ugandans... Scrapping over salmon Battling to be handed Something to feed their fam with... Then I'm abandoned... Lookin' like it's Venice Beach... Smokin' on a tree With a bottle full of Hennessey... ... Was it the ketamine? Fuck it, I'ma let it be A ten in a bikini And I want her to be next to me I say 'hi, girl you look exuberant' But she crumbles into dust when I try to pull her in... Now I look a fool again... Her friends start to laugh And I'm feeling like a fat kid Who dropped a fart in class... Fuck it, I'ma chase em... I'm feelin' like Jason But they offer me a space in Their secret plantation... 'You got 10 seconds... If you don't convince me I'm firing this weapon And making you mince meat' 'Relax little man just take A breath you're looking agitated Come and join the clan You'll be glad' I was captivated Asking her the plan she stated 'You will be the man we mate with, All the girls are tanned and naked' 'You don't need to advocate it, Where do I sign up?' She told me to sit tight... They went to get the paperwork But now it's like midnight... ... What a sick sight... I went for a brisk hike And hit the nearest bar where I got in a fist fight |
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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oh shit, you are savage, my friend!
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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Samuel with the token, "I didnt read this shit, but lemme pretend I did" move.
shit was entirely random, and id be entirely full of shit if I said I enjoyed it. it started well, but it just got to the point where you went absolutely bollocks. I was kinda hoping for a turn around scenario, but that never came. I get the "im going stir crazy and losing my mind" angle..but the execution wasnt your usual, if im honest. and to answer your question in my thread - full circle was definitely on purpose.. "full circle/draw blanks/black hole/head space". thanks for reading my ramblings tho. |
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#Bananas
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Mitch.Wagwaan
Groupie Joined: 21 June 2014 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 380 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-5-1 Form: LNLWWW |
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I like the fast paced horrorcore-ish approach. I get the concept but felt it wavered too much. This was my favourite part...
Scared as shit imagining A team of straight jackets Dressing me up like a mannequin Shit now I'm panicking. Flowed nice as fuck when I was spitting it to an instrumental. Felt the quality dropped after "... was it the ketamine". Still enjoyed it tho |
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CHAIN
Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Dressing me up like a mannequin
Shit now I'm panicking They've thrown me in the van again Beating me and strangling Until my hands are banded with More passion than Ugandans... Scrapping over salmon I felt like you were using way too many napkins here. Real dope how you got in your Slim Shady bag. The opener was hard. Keep up the good work! |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Well we are productive of late eh, i must say i did find this verse on
the spatial side, it had an indirect approach on reading, came off more as a self hype piece i thought, i liked the rhyming every other line rhyme scheme within, (gave you the opportunity to layer a verse out if wished), which to my surprise didn't happen here, all though the content within was cool, it just lacked a clear path/course, still the flow gave it some merit, the short lines really aided that aspect, keep em coming dude.....peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Gunzofarsenal
Groupie Joined: 15 April 2020 Location: Princeton Status: Offline Points: 23 |
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I like it that its punny and cheeky in a dark mind set that's trapped in like a funny but fucked up Alice in wonderland covid-19 type landscape. It felt creepy but with a slick way of making it fun at the same time. Pretty cool man !!!!!
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