Open Mic: Quarantine Sessions 2

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Goryo. View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie


Joined: 28 June 2016
Status: Offline
Points: 431
Crew: Tha Syndicate

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 4-4-0
Form: LWLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Goryo. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Quarantine Sessions 2
    Posted: 05 April 2020 at 7:05pm
On the spectrum of crazy
I'm still ruling the grid...
Feed coke to my pit bull then
Release him in a school full of kids...
I'm poppin' opiates to cloak
The fuckin' hopelessness
That flows through me...
Then I dose with speed to go get groceries
... So what's the potency?...
I got a metal bar...
I sellotape it to my dick
To fuck when I can't get it hard...
With Pat Benatar...
Playing on Alexa
Cause I'm the heartbreaker
When I say I'm gonna text ya
Shit it ain't happening...
You'll wonder where I've vanished when
My icon isn't active
Musta been a car crash again...
I've hit the stash again...
Scared as shit imagining
A team with strait jackets
Dressing me up like a mannequin
Shit now I'm panicking
They've thrown me in the van again
Beating me and strangling
Until my hands are banded with
More passion than Ugandans...
Scrapping over salmon
Battling to be handed
Something to feed their fam with...
Then I'm abandoned...
Lookin' like it's Venice Beach...
Smokin' on a tree
With a bottle full of Hennessey...
... Was it the ketamine?
Fuck it, I'ma let it be
A ten in a bikini
And I want her to be next to me
I say 'hi, girl you look exuberant'
But she crumbles into dust
when I try to pull her in...
Now I look a fool again...
Her friends start to laugh
And I'm feeling like a fat kid
Who dropped a fart in class...
Fuck it, I'ma chase em...
I'm feelin' like Jason
But they offer me a space in
Their secret plantation...
'You got 10 seconds...
If you don't convince me
I'm firing this weapon
And making you mince meat'
'Relax little man just take
A breath you're looking agitated
Come and join the clan
You'll be glad' I was captivated
Asking her the plan she stated
'You will be the man we mate with,
All the girls are tanned and naked'
'You don't need to advocate it,
Where do I sign up?'
She told me to sit tight...
They went to get the paperwork
But now it's like midnight...
... What a sick sight...
I went for a brisk hike
And hit the nearest bar where I got in a fist fight





Back to Top
Sammy View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar
Beacon of Light

Joined: 24 October 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 2222
Crew: Elision

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 1-1-1
Form: LNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 April 2020 at 7:47pm
Originally posted by Goryo. Goryo. wrote:

On the spectrum of crazy
I'm still ruling the grid...
Feed coke to my pit bull then
Release him in a school full of kids...


oh shit, you are savage, my friend!


Back to Top
Neek View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar
Super Mario Slaughterer

Joined: 05 October 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3862

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 3-1-0
Form: LWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 April 2020 at 10:00pm
Samuel with the token, "I didnt read this shit, but lemme pretend I did" move.

shit was entirely random, and id be entirely full of shit if I said I enjoyed it. it started well, but it just got to the point where you went absolutely bollocks. I was kinda hoping for a turn around scenario, but that never came. I get the "im going stir crazy and losing my mind" angle..but the execution wasnt your usual, if im honest.


and to answer your question in my thread - full circle was definitely on purpose.. "full circle/draw blanks/black hole/head space". thanks for reading my ramblings tho.
#Bananas
Back to Top
Mitch.Wagwaan View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 21 June 2014
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 380

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 3-5-1
Form: LNLWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Mitch.Wagwaan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 April 2020 at 10:08am
I like the fast paced horrorcore-ish approach. I get the concept but felt it wavered too much. This was my favourite part...


Scared as shit imagining
A team of straight jackets
Dressing me up like a mannequin
Shit now I'm panicking.

Flowed nice as fuck when I was spitting it to an instrumental.

Felt the quality dropped after "... was it the ketamine". Still enjoyed it tho
Back to Top
CHAIN View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 14 November 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 2769

Reigning Open Mic King

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 8-4-0
Form: LWWLWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 April 2020 at 12:33pm
Dressing me up like a mannequin

Shit now I'm panicking

They've thrown me in the van again

Beating me and strangling

Until my hands are banded with

More passion than Ugandans...

Scrapping over salmon



I felt like you were using way too many napkins here.
Real dope how you got in your Slim Shady bag.
The opener was hard.

Keep up the good work!

+Sick-Witted+
Back to Top
Crimson Juice View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar

Joined: 20 December 2015
Location: U.K.
Status: Offline
Points: 3258
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 6-11-0
Form: LLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 April 2020 at 7:40pm
Well we are productive of late eh, i must say i did find this verse on
the spatial side, it had an indirect approach on reading, came off
more as a self hype piece i thought, i liked the rhyming every other
line rhyme scheme within, (gave you the opportunity to layer a verse
out if wished), which to my surprise didn't happen here, all though
the content within was cool, it just lacked a clear path/course, still
the flow gave it some merit, the short lines really aided that aspect,
keep em coming dude.....peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
Back to Top
Gunzofarsenal View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 15 April 2020
Location: Princeton
Status: Offline
Points: 23
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Gunzofarsenal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 April 2020 at 10:48pm
I like it that its punny and cheeky in a dark mind set that's trapped in like a funny but fucked up Alice in wonderland covid-19 type landscape. It felt creepy but with a slick way of making it fun at the same time. Pretty cool man !!!!!
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down