Open Mic: my VALENTINE drop... |
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..Ghost.. 
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Joined: 11 December 2006 Location: The Land Where Dragons Rule... Status: Offline Points: 379 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-3-1 Form: WLWWWN |
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 Topic: my VALENTINE drop...Posted: 14 February 2007 at 5:58pm |
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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY...but first learn its origin...
This Is He..A Citizen Of Rome And A Christian Priest,
Who Once Lived In Peace Till He Wuz Sentenced Grief, Over A KISS And SPEECH, Just A Simple Marriage. By ROMAN EMPEROR Claudius, A SIN, A SAVAGE!! Grim And A Friend Of Madness, With A Thousand Souls.. "SINGLE MEN = STRONGER SOLDIERS"..He Announced To Rome!! The Crowd Just Scolds, The Disobey And Hate Is Strong.. Bravely A WELL KNOWN Christian Patron Came Along, "Don't PRAISE HE's WRONG", "Guards Seeze This Male!!" ..."LET HIS LIFELONG PEACE DECREASE IN JAIL!!" It Seemed He Failed...Truth Is..His Job Wuz Ruined, If He Couldnt Marry,Well This Meens..No Profit To Em, All His Sorrows Brewin,In His Innocent But GUILTY CONCIENCE, "O Lord Claudius The Filthy Rotten, U Will Not Stop This!!" "Let My Skills STILL Be Offered",The Saint Made His Decision, He Made 1 Last Prayer Not Knowin Wut This Betrayal Will Give Him! Still, Faith Wuz Within Em,"Be Careful They Might Be Listening, "Dearly Beloved..." He Recites The Blessing..Lightly Whispering, With A Smile Slightly Glistening, Anotha Couples Been Binded, Suddenly Footsteps...2 Guards...= DOUBLE THE VIOLENCE.. In Between Stomps, (1.....2......3.....4) Nuthing But Silence.. " Shh....Quit The Chuckling, They're Coming Be Quiet!!" The Steps Stopped.."We Needa Make A Speed Escape" "So On The Count Of Three PLEASE. FLEE WITH HASTE!!"(1...2...3) They Leave At BREEZING Pace, The 2 Married Were Free.. I Wuz Barriered...The 2 Guards With No Effort..Capturing Me... "Where Are U Carrying Me!!", Wut Other Question Is Left? "We Gave You 1 Chance Saint,Now Ur Sentence Is Death.." I Count My Blessins With Breaths,then Shoved Back In A Cell, I Never Knew Marriage In Fact, Would Attract Me To Hell.. From That Day On, I Though I Wuz In For Nuthin But Misery.. Till One Of The Guards Daughters Wuz Summoned To Visit Me, "Is This Sum Kinda Gift To Me?"She Noticed I Wuz Shattered And Sour'd.. So Everyday She Came Back, We Chatted For Hours.. I Felt Like I'd Regather My Power, Wen I Hear Her Nice Voice.. Enlightening My Spirits...Claming That I Made The Right Choice, She Made My Strife Joy!!All The Sad Days Racin Me By!! Then Before...I Knew It....Today Wuz The Day That I Die... As Its Making Me Cry, I Decide To Write You A Letter, "I Hope This Letter Can Somehow Keep Us Together"... It Starts Steamin My Temper, But at Least I Get 2 Leave U This Message.. "Love From You Valentine."This Is Where We Believe That It Ended... "Lord Jesus" He Mentioned, Seconds After, His Breath Wuz Muted.. Holding The Note Firmly In His Grasp..He Remotely Wuz Executed.. |
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Kay B
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Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 6:37am |
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Dope drop, Loved the approach you took on this one imagery was real nice. Didn't seem to be much filler throughout the verse which you come to expect in a long piece so that made it doper. Content was dope and original which made it an even better read, multis were on point and flow seemed nothing short of perfect imo, Real nice piece overall...dope drop
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Point Blank
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Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 6:40am |
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This Was A Dope Drop Ghost. Flow Was Perfect Throughout, Rhymescheme Didnt Meet The Standards You Usually Come With, But You Got Great Story Tellin Skills Which Doesnt Really Need Rhymescheme..Dont Think Ive Ever Seen A Topical From You. Had A Strong Message To It, An Overall Original Piece, Bad That People Are Sleepin On This,Stay Up Man
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Fatal
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...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 12:31pm |
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Damn this was a nice drop...i like different open mics that are creative and this was one of them...good flow and cohesive...props man 1...
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..Ghost..
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Joined: 11 December 2006 Location: The Land Where Dragons Rule... Status: Offline Points: 379 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-3-1 Form: WLWWWN |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 2:50pm |
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ahhh thanks fellas
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Intellect
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Joined: 02 February 2007 Location: Montreal, Quebec Status: Offline Points: 71 |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 3:44pm |
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yeah, this was a pretty tight drop. Your flow was nice, beautiful imagery and you converted your ideas to words nicely. Solid storytelling piece, keep up
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Freeda5thDawg
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Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 4:50pm |
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hell shit, i love ya story tellin skills, it really did take me to da specific scenario u drew in this verse...da whole plot explained in detail through a rap, and like the others said, the imagery was jus clear...the way u described basically helped me not lose track of the outcomes...flow was definitely hotness and i was feelin da rhyme scheme personally...great piece man...
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U.N.L.M.
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Joined: 19 December 2006 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1955 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-15-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 15 February 2007 at 5:39pm |
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wow..this was dope, loved your imagery like everyone else said and you kept perfect flow in this...especially enjoyed it since it was a cool topic that you presented real well
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