Open Mic: The Hand I Wuz Dealt |
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..Ghost..
Standard Member Joined: 11 December 2006 Location: The Land Where Dragons Rule... Status: Offline Points: 379 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-3-1 Form: WLWWWN |
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Posted: 16 February 2007 at 6:19pm |
O.O yes, Ghost can write songs too...
true story...bout my gf who died 3 yrs ago....feed greatly appreciated...
THE HAND I WUZ DEALT... (beat= Same Cry by Jin)
::Chorus:: Thats A Sample Of Examples Of The Objects Im Seeing!!
The Doctors Arrive, Ur Mom Has Started To Cry,
Thats A Sample Of Examples Of The Objects Im Seeing!! |
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Point Blank
Superior Member Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Woah...First Off, Really Sorry About This Yo,Like You Say Its Just The Hand You Were Dealt..Shit Happens. Secondly, Props For Sharin This With Us..Musta Been Hard For You Writin This And Re-living It. As For The Verse, It Was Dope. Rhymescheme Was Amazin As Usual,The Multies Really Helped The Flow Of The Verse. And Finally, The Content Was Dope, I Could Feel The Emotion Throughout This Piece, But At The End Of The Day I Guess Its Only You Who Knows What It Really Felt Like, Tho From That Piece I Can Pretty Much Picture It. Again, Sorry About This Whole Incident, But Keep Ya Chin Up Yo, Ya Queen'd Be Proud...
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Kay B
Superior Member Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Firstly like point said..Sorry to hear about your loss
Right now to the feed Dope shit man, ALOT of feeling and emotion in this piece and that is what i love reading, flow was on point throughout multi's made it better like Point said, Musta been real hard writing this piece, best drops are those that come from the heart imo, Vocab didn't matter at all in this piece thought it was good, small vocab would of hit the reader just as well. Loved every bit of this piece was real hard to pick out my fave bars but these were a few i felt touched me as a reader the most.
REALLY felt this four lines, it created a picture of the scene and a feeling of the emotion felt by you and others around you Overall dope piece would be great audio...sorry once again for your loss Edited by Kay B - 16 February 2007 at 6:50pm |
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Intellect
Groupie Joined: 02 February 2007 Location: Montreal, Quebec Status: Offline Points: 71 |
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Damn, sorry you had to go through that
This was a personal piece so it was hyped up on emotion. As I see it these are the best drops because there from the heart and like i said prior, its filled with emotion. That being said, your flow was remarkable, rhyme scheme was amazing and IMO it touches the reader. Once again sorry this happened but dope drop and stay up...1 Edited by Intellect - 17 February 2007 at 10:35am |
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U.N.L.M.
Standard Member Joined: 19 December 2006 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1955 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-15-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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ya man sorry you had to go through this....
This verse though was dope...Great rhymescheme, multies really helped it flow along and you just had emotion in this drop making it sooo much better...Your amazing flow just made this drop so easy to read and wanted me to keep going...it's tough to write true emotional drops but you got one right here and you did an amazing job, i even liked the chorus too
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DressToKill
Superior Member Joined: 27 June 2006 Location: Canada,New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 6872 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 78-62-0 Form: LLWWWL |
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Damn....Hands Down The Best Written Peice From You Ive Ever Seen...The Chorus Is Amazing And The Flow Is Perfect...Im Devistated At Your Loss Because I Could Only Imagine How That Would Affect Me...Man This Was Definently Nice..Nothing To Criticise
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The original comeback kid
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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shit shit shit...sorry for this, dunno how it feels but u seem to be real strong through it...and damn, was this piece amazin...not only because of da personal and emotional feel to it, but it was perfectly written...the chorus jus sed it all, the verses were very vivid, and i jus loved da way u ended da second verse, the imagery jus set the whole thing for me...great job man...
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Fatal
Superior Member ...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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HEy bro, this was a really deep peice...i could feel the emotion throughout and the whole peice really flowed well and cohesively...personal open mics are always the best imo...Sorry bout ya loss, ive had some really hard losses also, so i know exactly what you went through... 1...
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