Open Mic: Seen Better Days...

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SiNiStAh View Drop Down
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    Posted: 15 December 2007 at 12:08pm
Another key i did, feed bakk is much wanted again..
 
i've been to the belly of the beast, its centre!!,
the gargling acid within' the calmness an splender,
the stone walls, the chillings down your spine,
the toxic screams that devower n drowned ur mind,
the cold bars rescricting the beauty of nature,
this captivities pure, but wat flows thur me is faker,
my asylums my mind, my insanity is my cage,
i dream of dismissal, but the fantasies r so vage,
my mind opens its wings, i stay in the boas constrictions,
hopeless, a victim!!, stuck in'a state by hyposis, the system,
to cope this is wisdom, but knowledge dsnt offer protection,
it in-sights panic an softer perceptions, the doctored infections,
no proper corrections, just obsessions of officers power,
the sights r sour, as our cell "structions" devoured in hours,
we plummit as cowards, but they're built up on officers towers,
our minds reach the heaven, but our bodies go down-wards,
my angels barracaded outside, inches from my reach,
my loved 1s insight, but still held only inches from my speech,
my crys, my screams, seeped in an tantilized my dreams,
wishing for demise its seems, till i relized their scheam,
.....devouring the people, is over powering the people,
the systems been put is place, but its cowardly an evil,
the lies built to change our lives is our only demise...
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Freeda5thDawg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Freeda5thDawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2007 at 12:13pm
real interestin piece...really loved the vocab usage and the rhyme scheme was well balanced thru out...the descriptions and imagery were very well applied and made a nice read...coolness man...
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SiNiStAh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SiNiStAh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2007 at 12:20pm
thanx for the feed...
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Fatal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Fatal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2007 at 12:45pm
Yea, gotta agree wit free on this...rhyme scheme was nice and flow was really good...my fave:
 
my mind opens its wings, i stay in the boas constrictions,
hopeless, a victim!!, stuck in'a state by hyposis, the system,
to cope this is wisdom, but knowledge dsnt offer protection,
it in-sights panic an softer perceptions, the doctored infections,
 
Overall nice spit...better than ya other drop....keep up
 
...1
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SiNiStAh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SiNiStAh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2007 at 12:49pm
thanx... alot..   :D 
..after i get afew battles, i wud like to apply to join The Dynasty..
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Point Blank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2007 at 4:17pm
Yeah, This Was Hot...Rhymescheme  From 'Boas Constrictions' An Onwards Was Nice..Stay Active An What Not(Y)
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dalinquent View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote dalinquent Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 December 2007 at 6:23pm
flow was cool, as mentioned before...not typically what i look for in open mics but you doing you so i gotta respect that...props
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