Open Mic: Seen Better Days... |
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SiNiStAh
Standard Member Joined: 15 December 2007 Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 159 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-4-1 Form: LWLLLN |
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Posted: 15 December 2007 at 12:08pm |
Another key i did, feed bakk is much wanted again..
i've been to the belly of the beast, its centre!!,
the gargling acid within' the calmness an splender, the stone walls, the chillings down your spine, the toxic screams that devower n drowned ur mind, the cold bars rescricting the beauty of nature, this captivities pure, but wat flows thur me is faker, my asylums my mind, my insanity is my cage, i dream of dismissal, but the fantasies r so vage, my mind opens its wings, i stay in the boas constrictions, hopeless, a victim!!, stuck in'a state by hyposis, the system, to cope this is wisdom, but knowledge dsnt offer protection, it in-sights panic an softer perceptions, the doctored infections, no proper corrections, just obsessions of officers power, the sights r sour, as our cell "structions" devoured in hours, we plummit as cowards, but they're built up on officers towers, our minds reach the heaven, but our bodies go down-wards, my angels barracaded outside, inches from my reach, my loved 1s insight, but still held only inches from my speech, my crys, my screams, seeped in an tantilized my dreams, wishing for demise its seems, till i relized their scheam, .....devouring the people, is over powering the people, the systems been put is place, but its cowardly an evil, the lies built to change our lives is our only demise... |
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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real interestin piece...really loved the vocab usage and the rhyme scheme was well balanced thru out...the descriptions and imagery were very well applied and made a nice read...coolness man...
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SiNiStAh
Standard Member Joined: 15 December 2007 Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 159 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-4-1 Form: LWLLLN |
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thanx for the feed...
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Fatal
Superior Member ...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Yea, gotta agree wit free on this...rhyme scheme was nice and flow was really good...my fave:
my mind opens its wings, i stay in the boas constrictions,
hopeless, a victim!!, stuck in'a state by hyposis, the system, to cope this is wisdom, but knowledge dsnt offer protection, it in-sights panic an softer perceptions, the doctored infections, Overall nice spit...better than ya other drop....keep up
...1
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SiNiStAh
Standard Member Joined: 15 December 2007 Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 159 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-4-1 Form: LWLLLN |
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thanx... alot.. :D
..after i get afew battles, i wud like to apply to join The Dynasty..
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Point Blank
Superior Member Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Yeah, This Was Hot...Rhymescheme From 'Boas Constrictions' An Onwards Was Nice..Stay Active An What Not(Y)
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dalinquent
Superior Member Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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flow was cool, as mentioned before...not typically what i look for in open mics but you doing you so i gotta respect that...props
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