Open Mic: test with a different rhyme scheme

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WipE'3m View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 December 2010 at 1:22am
look, I'm doing a test right now. I wrote some random shit with a rhymescheme I never used before. This time I just made flow like I wanted, it's not sure that you'll think it flows well, but I did. So please be honest with me, and answer this question: Shit, or useable? NOTICE* this is not a battle verse!

look, I'ma shread ya, till' you meet Jackson, or deatha

kinda news that'll make it to the headha, "killer on the loose, in a black sweata"

You don't see me, everything just turns dark

in or outside the ring, even before you got to park

your rhymes are a blind alley, you shit verbally

look, I'ma perjury, offense everyone then die in a surgery



Edited by WipE'3m - 31 December 2010 at 1:25am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 December 2010 at 1:27am
Much better....hang in there!

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