Open Mic: Kill the noise and pray silence for apathy |
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stuckinthepost
Standard Member Joined: 14 April 2010 Location: Gravesend Status: Offline Points: 634 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-7-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:12pm |
I was making elevator music when wooden stairs were the only way up
The tunes I spit were well read blueprints of the truth that kept us chained up Raise up if you want the freedom of yeast, Flour power self raised now we're stuck with a feast Who makes all the dough? Save yourself, save the kids And stop taking dustcaps off my vehicle of speech Here is my platform- Helping you adapt to torn Morals in a place that refrigerates And leaves the gat warm shot... avant-guardian dream sequences To help me adjust To a place without date rape and where explainings a must TRUST- organised society doesn't work without strings And a crack team to back esteem and wait in the wings Yeah things don't work but you think that they should But step back man, relax and see whats under the hood An ancient system, write more, right more, The animals went in 4x4s And while you were cooling a heat rash at backs of poor white stores They were bugging the place out with probes in scores in drawers All whores, every one of them, feel the red light calling The answer to the dreams I forget in the morning Yeah, no shitting, it's taking the piss I'm playing truth or cut with a brave satanist And this ain't emo rap I'm just passing the time Spending hours trying to make I hate myself rhyme meals done, questions risen, a troubled lack of mental health You were studying existentialism and found peace within yourself I thought I was getting somewhere... Stuck.
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you come at the king, you best not miss.
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stuckinthepost
Standard Member Joined: 14 April 2010 Location: Gravesend Status: Offline Points: 634 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-7-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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shameless self bump for feed
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you come at the king, you best not miss.
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-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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I gotchoo cuzzin...feed this when I return breh!
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Kosmosis
Superior Member Joined: 12 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 3264 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-15-1 Form: WWLLNL |
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this is straight ridiculous. i liked it...i liked it alot....you are trying to find your self....this is a great start, even though you are young you possess a deep insight and lyrical ability.....the dreams forgot in the morning line killed to me the most....i really enjoiyed this kid...you kinda inspired me.
i forgot to say that since you inspired me it means you accomplished what i believe to be art's purpose.
this would be raw spoken word. keep at it....keep thinking. Edited by Kosmosis - 05 January 2011 at 12:58am |
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Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.
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J504
Banned Joined: 08 June 2010 Status: Offline Points: 5385 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-0-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Nice!
That was dope and very true. You always have some good insight in your verses like this, alot of people will prolly miss it.
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stuckinthepost
Standard Member Joined: 14 April 2010 Location: Gravesend Status: Offline Points: 634 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-7-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Yo thanks you 2, it'll be cool to see what Que says cos it tends to only be J5 and Kos that can be bothered to feed on my opens. Thanks though bros.
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you come at the king, you best not miss.
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Kosmosis
Superior Member Joined: 12 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 3264 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-15-1 Form: WWLLNL |
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well...you may have to wait.....trust me.
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Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.
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-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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I was making elevator music when wooden stairs were the only way up
The tunes I spit were well read blueprints of the truth that kept us chained up You know what Stuck....i'm glad I love scripting in long bar too....it makes it so I can catch the word rythem. You dont have to bother with me saying shit is stretched breh.BTW.....I liked the opener. Raise up if you want the freedom of yeast, Flour power self raised now we're stuck with a feast ehh...really dont dig the flour thing....concept is nice tho. Who makes all the dough? Save yourself, save the kids And stop taking dustcaps off my vehicle of speech Rushed.....think you could meld on this..... Here is my platform- Helping you adapt to torn Morals in a place that refrigerates And leaves the gat warm ^^^Ha Ha ! Good! shot... avant-guardian dream sequences To help me adjust ^^ I dig the semi complexity...specially "dream sequences" thing To a place without date rape and where explainings a must TRUST- organized society doesn't work without strings And a crack team to back esteem and wait in the wings Rythem and wordplacement was raw Yeah things don't work but you think that they should But step back man, relax and see whats under the hood Nope....Stuck you coolin down....ramp up the heat again! An ancient system, write more, right more, Raw^^ The animals went in 4x4s And while you were cooling a heat rash at backs of poor white stores They were bugging the place out with probes in scores in drawers All whores, every one of them, feel the red light calling The answer to the dreams I forget in the morning Best bar! Yeah, no shitting, it's taking the piss I'm playing truth or cut with a brave satanist And this ain't emo rap I'm just passing the time Spending hours trying to make I hate myself rhyme Cool meals done, questions risen, a troubled lack of mental health You were studying existentialism and found peace within yourself I thought I was getting somewhere... Overall....decent dropp-O my niggah!!Keep the fields burrrrnnnin! |
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stuckinthepost
Standard Member Joined: 14 April 2010 Location: Gravesend Status: Offline Points: 634 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-7-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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Thanks for the detailed feed- I get what you mean that I lagged in the middle in places. But I'm really glad you picked out the bars you did, cos they were mostly the ones I felt confident with
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you come at the king, you best not miss.
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J504
Banned Joined: 08 June 2010 Status: Offline Points: 5385 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-0-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Que does give the best feed, i wish folks would quit tryin' to ban him so much
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