Open Mic: Kill the noise and pray silence for apathy

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stuckinthepost View Drop Down
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    Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:12pm
I was making elevator music when wooden stairs were the only way up
The tunes I spit were well read blueprints of the truth that kept us chained up
Raise up if you want the freedom of yeast,
Flour power self raised now we're stuck with a feast
Who makes all the dough? Save yourself, save the kids
And stop taking dustcaps off my vehicle of speech
Here is my platform-
Helping you adapt to torn
Morals in a place that refrigerates
And leaves the gat warm
shot... avant-guardian dream sequences To help me adjust
To a place without date rape and where explainings a must
TRUST- organised society doesn't work without strings
And a crack team to back esteem and wait in the wings
Yeah things don't work but you think that they should
But step back man, relax and see whats under the hood
An ancient system, write more, right more,
The animals went in 4x4s
And while you were cooling a heat rash at backs of poor white stores
They were bugging the place out with probes in scores in drawers
All whores, every one of them, feel the red light calling
The answer to the dreams I forget in the morning
Yeah, no shitting, it's taking the piss
I'm playing truth or cut with a brave satanist
And this ain't emo rap I'm just passing the time
Spending hours  trying to make I hate myself rhyme
meals done, questions risen, a troubled lack of mental health
You were studying existentialism and found peace within yourself
I thought I was getting somewhere...
 
 
 
 
Also I have a mic but its decided to stop working tonight, but maybe expect stuff soon.
 
Stuck.
you come at the king, you best not miss.
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stuckinthepost View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote stuckinthepost Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 January 2011 at 9:23pm
shameless self bump for feed
you come at the king, you best not miss.
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-Que- View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:28pm
I gotchoo cuzzin...feed this when I return breh!

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Kosmosis View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kosmosis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 January 2011 at 12:55am
this is straight ridiculous.  i liked it...i liked it alot....you are trying to find your self....this is a great start, even though you are young you possess a deep insight and lyrical ability.....the dreams forgot in the morning line killed to me the most....i really enjoiyed this kid...you kinda inspired me.
i forgot to say that since you inspired me it means you accomplished what i believe to be art's purpose.
 
this would be raw spoken word. keep at it....keep thinking.


Edited by Kosmosis - 05 January 2011 at 12:58am
Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.

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J504 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 January 2011 at 2:33pm
Nice!
 
Quote TRUST- organised society doesn't work without strings
And a crack team to back esteem and wait in the wings
 
That was dope and very true. You always have some good insight in your verses like this, alot of people will prolly miss it.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote stuckinthepost Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:32pm
Yo thanks you 2, it'll be cool to see what Que says cos it tends to only be J5 and Kos that can be bothered to feed on my opens. Thanks though bros.
you come at the king, you best not miss.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kosmosis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 January 2011 at 10:04pm
well...you may have to wait.....trust me.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2011 at 5:51am
I was making elevator music when wooden stairs were the only way up
The tunes I spit were well read blueprints of the truth that kept us chained up
You know what Stuck....i'm glad I love scripting in long bar too....it makes it so I can catch the word rythem. You dont have to bother with me saying shit is stretched breh.BTW.....I liked the opener.
Raise up if you want the freedom of yeast,
Flour power self raised now we're stuck with a feast
ehh...really dont dig the flour thing....concept is nice tho.
Who makes all the dough? Save yourself, save the kids
And stop taking dustcaps off my vehicle of speech
Rushed.....think you could meld on this.....
Here is my platform-
Helping you adapt to torn
Morals in a place that refrigerates
And leaves the gat warm
^^^Ha Ha ! Good!
shot... avant-guardian dream sequences To help me adjust
^^ I dig the semi complexity...specially "dream sequences" thingThumbs Up
To a place without date rape and where explainings a must
TRUST- organized society doesn't work without strings
And a crack team to back esteem and wait in the wings
Rythem and wordplacement was raw
Yeah things don't work but you think that they should
But step back man, relax and see whats under the hood
Nope....Stuck you coolin down....ramp up the heat again!
An ancient system, write more, right more,
Raw^^
The animals went in 4x4s
And while you were cooling a heat rash at backs of poor white stores
They were bugging the place out with probes in scores in drawers
All whores, every one of them, feel the red light calling
The answer to the dreams I forget in the morning

Best bar!
Yeah, no shitting, it's taking the piss
I'm playing truth or cut with a brave satanist
And this ain't emo rap I'm just passing the time
Spending hours  trying to make I hate myself rhyme

Cool
meals done, questions risen, a troubled lack of mental health
You were studying existentialism and found peace within yourself
I thought I was getting somewhere...

Overall....decent dropp-O my niggah!!Keep the fields burrrrnnnin!
 

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote stuckinthepost Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2011 at 7:05am
Thanks for the detailed feed- I get what you mean that I lagged in the middle in places. But I'm really glad you picked out the bars you did, cos they were mostly the ones I felt confident with
you come at the king, you best not miss.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 January 2011 at 10:04pm
Que does give the best feed, i wish folks would quit tryin' to ban him so much LOL
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