Open Mic: cookin with metaphores

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   my minds sick, tickin like egg timers
see rhymes cookin when i close my eyelids
kill you a inch at a time kid
n like ronald mcdonald, im still smilin
you can eat shit, im greedy with verses
garnish words, im fluent in curses
i got the recipe, n im still learnin
but dont think less of me, coz im burnin
whisk my thoughts into metaphores
grill kids well done. myself, im raw
have you stuffed with my first course
got it coming in fresh like the best chefs
becoming a star.. thats my next step
my verbal soup'll burn ya tounge 
im all over beef like a fuckin burger bun
movin food, im partial to herbs
while you busy stewin over words
im servin fuckers ten to the dozen
think this is dope? i got another in the oven 

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Mackie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 20 August 2005 Location: MK Status: Offline Points: 1504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 45-38-4 Form: LLWLNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mackie Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: cookin with metaphores Posted: 05 January 2011 at 12:16am
	my minds sick, tickin like egg timers see rhymes cookin when i close my eyelids kill you a inch at a time kid n like ronald mcdonald, im still smilin you can eat shit, im greedy with verses garnish words, im fluent in curses i got the recipe, n im still learnin but dont think less of me, coz im burnin whisk my thoughts into metaphores grill kids well done. myself, im raw have you stuffed with my first course got it coming in fresh like the best chefs becoming a star.. thats my next step my verbal soup'll burn ya tounge im all over beef like a fuckin burger bun movin food, im partial to herbs while you busy stewin over words im servin fuckers ten to the dozen think this is dope? i got another in the oven

Kosmosis Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 12 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 3264 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-15-1 Form: WWLLNL	Post Options Post Reply Quote Kosmosis Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 05 January 2011 at 12:51am
	the ronald mcdonald line stood out to me...had me lol. cool mack dogg...you know i am a fan of burgertime as it is...lol.
	Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.

Mackie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 20 August 2005 Location: MK Status: Offline Points: 1504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 45-38-4 Form: LLWLNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mackie Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 05 January 2011 at 5:56pm
	cheerss K

J504 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 08 June 2010 Status: Offline Points: 5385 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-0-0 Form: WWWWWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote J504 Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 07 January 2011 at 2:55pm
	This was ok, could've went alot further with it for sure...I was expecting more witty metaphors from the title and the rhymes could stand some tightening. Still, this wasn't bad at all. Keep at it, Mack. Edited by J504 - 07 January 2011 at 2:56pm