Open Mic: I got you stuck off the realness

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
Author
-Orion- View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran
Avatar

Joined: 08 April 2004
Location: DisturbinLondon
Status: Offline
Points: 9551
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #1
Stats: 90-4-1
Form: WWWWNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Orion- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: I got you stuck off the realness
    Posted: 19 August 2012 at 3:31pm
In the name of gOd
Now don't get superstitious
I'm the most brutal vicious
The most ruthless champ you've ever seen

You watch me on the podium from the mezzanine
There's none better and let me tell you there will never be

Check the track record
Oh so many Vs
Every vet you've seen got heavy beats in record speed

And when it's effort-free YOU demandin' better heat?
Now you say he's arrogant
You even said he cheats

All this jealousy
It gets really samey quick
'Cuz I've known I'd great at this since '86

You wantin' more but fuck it I've done it all
Top of the food chain
You can't catch me
Call me Usain

Dudes came
Dudes saw me conquer
So far ahead of my comp it's fuckin' bonkers

It's the next leg in the relay
Kenyan calibre
See me through the distance

Resistance
Persistence
Insistence:
Hear what I say next
I will not be anything short of the greatest

Technical perfection
World leader
Still on track as the best ever
Call me Rudisha

Non-believers talkin' drastic
...They still think that I'm past it

Baton passed from one hand to my other one
'Cuz anyone who knows me knows I won't ever stop runnin'

Disturbin' London
South West
What? ...
Haven't you figured it out yet?

Accept me or don't 'cuz it won't matter
Gone the distance
I'm your champion
Call me Mo Farah

Last leg to go and I've made more motherfuckin' history than Jesse Owens
Haile Selassie won't try to surpass me

Fuck it
Take it back to the very start
Left all the Ancient Greeks with their head and necks apart

It's a blessed art
Draggin' Zeus's corpse through the Acropolis
...You ain't as hot as this

And even without the track record and title belts
On flow alone O's got more gold than Michael Phelps
. . . Now who said they fuckin' with me?
They just said that FUCKIN' with me
They didn't mean it
Nah . . .
Back to Top
J504 View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 08 June 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 5385

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 25-0-0
Form: WWWWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2012 at 7:50pm
I can't lie, this shit was nice. Layout was dope, lines were simple and effective.
 
Like I said before, Renegades (minus Neek) still got it. 
Back to Top
Manc View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2010
Location: ur girls pussy
Status: Offline
Points: 7028

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 82-4-2
Form: WWWWNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 August 2012 at 9:42pm
Yea it'd be nice to see some feed from you



anyway - this was nice. I dont reckon it was suttin you took a lot of time with - but the choppy flow would do good on audio. Loved the Olympic refs - some of the lines were a bit weak IMO, sorta fillerish - but for the most part - you did a decent job with this

its DEFO good to see you droppin again. maybe we can get that battle goin, just for fun eh


Back to Top
I-kontinue View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran

The Sovereign

Joined: 14 July 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 4961
Crew: The Dynasty

Text Rank: #6
Stats: 46-9-0
Form: WWWWWL
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote I-kontinue Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2012 at 3:19pm
It was different. The flow was dope. No crazy concepts, but was a solid piece. I liked the slick wordplay throughout. Really seems like one of those pieces that would be even better via audio, depending on how it's delivered.
Back to Top
-Orion- View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran
Avatar

Joined: 08 April 2004
Location: DisturbinLondon
Status: Offline
Points: 9551
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #1
Stats: 90-4-1
Form: WWWWNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Orion- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2012 at 10:47pm
Thanks.

There wasn't any filler really, but yeah the piece has quite a lot of personal references and is a bit up its own arse so I can see why it might come across that way. The whole thing is a four-stage relay -- I did contemplate just calling it The Relay but wanted to avoid any cheesy Olympics/athletics reference -- based on 'track record', starting with the fastest, then increasing the track distances with each of the first three sets as a metaphor for the longevity; what I've been done on LA and also other shit -- and drawing all the parallels/comparisons between myself and the three gold medallists -- then the last bit does the GOAT shit to finish off.

And yeah it's definitely one of those written to a beat that doesn't transmit so universally when standing alone, I appreciate that. Goes down as one of my best for me, knowing every intricacy of it, but to a reader I can see why it doesn't register nearly as much.

Three replies from 70 views, now that is something.
. . . Now who said they fuckin' with me?
They just said that FUCKIN' with me
They didn't mean it
Nah . . .
Back to Top
Cuba View Drop Down
Senior Moderator
Senior Moderator
Avatar
Legendary Assassin

Joined: 14 June 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 11775
Crew: Fatal Wound

King of LA

Text Rank: #14
Stats: 47-22-0
Form: WWWWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2012 at 11:19pm
It's the new world man, people peep the comments before the drops...

Opening set, I loved it...but yeah, if you don't know about the Zah drop then you aren't going to appreciate the relevance (as opposed to me, who has it on my phone playing right now)...comes across with that same attitude/flavour, also a bit like Jay when he was on top of his game (oooo, subjective)...the bonkers line was just too raw, I see you Winston!!

Acropolis/hot as this...nahhhh, rest was styling...
#Bananas
Back to Top
Manc View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2010
Location: ur girls pussy
Status: Offline
Points: 7028

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 82-4-2
Form: WWWWNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2012 at 11:34pm
Oh I seen all that

n when I say 'filler' - I dont wanna take nuttin away from you on this cuz it was decent. but if parts go over the readers head - it needs explaining so that your efforts can be appreciated

Im trying ere Orion. I really am

and yea - its annoying when you put in the effort and it gets a smidgen of feed in comparison to the views


Back to Top
Cee-Jay Outlaw View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 11 October 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 2131

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 3-3-0
Form: WLLWWL
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cee-Jay Outlaw Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2012 at 2:54pm
this is probably the first of the things i've actually read from you O.. since you were here before i joined and was in that On-Off-On period when my activity was at a high before i sunk off then returned..

Gotta say this was nice... the concepts were all there and this worked amazingly well

Keep up dude
Back to Top
Jay Homicide View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member


Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: UK
Status: Offline
Points: 1302

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 9-3-0
Form: WWLWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jay Homicide Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2012 at 3:19pm
I quite enjoyed it really, felt the flow was decemt and liked the concept of it all.
Back to Top
BiggStankDogg View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran
Avatar

Joined: 22 May 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1825
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #12
Stats: 35-8-0
Form: LLWWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote BiggStankDogg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2012 at 3:46pm

Fear the Bow of the Silent Archer
Back to Top
BiggStankDogg View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran
Avatar

Joined: 22 May 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1825
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #12
Stats: 35-8-0
Form: LLWWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote BiggStankDogg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2012 at 3:46pm
LOL, just playin'. Would be a good audio, I reckon...


Fear the Bow of the Silent Archer
Back to Top
Manc View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2010
Location: ur girls pussy
Status: Offline
Points: 7028

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 82-4-2
Form: WWWWNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 August 2012 at 4:46pm


Back to Top
-Que- View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member


Joined: 22 April 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 2691

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 13-4-1
Form: WWWWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 August 2012 at 1:00am
Well well well....who awoke the sleeping giant. Really is good to see you flexin across the board again. The structure was wild. I like wild. I use to go back and take a glimpse of your past work. Your aptitude is crazy high. Concepts that make the average have to google some of the references. I can dig it bruh. Anyways .....good tah see ya back.

Back to Top
Stalin View Drop Down
Site Moderator
Site Moderator
Avatar

Joined: 24 November 2003
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 2453
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #16
Stats: 33-11-2
Form: WLLNWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Stalin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 August 2012 at 5:04am
my man, nice shit.. honestly I aint likin that layout u got, but thats just visual
 
Oh so many Vs
Every vet you've seen got heavy beats in record speed

And when it's effort-free YOU demandin' better heat?
Now you say he's arrogant
You even said he cheats
 
 that was killer
 
Back to Top
J Sass View Drop Down
Standard Member
Standard Member
Avatar

Joined: 24 June 2009
Location: Omaha,Ne
Status: Offline
Points: 1904

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 12-7-3
Form: WWWNNN
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J Sass Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2012 at 3:16am
yea that shyt was nice...i aint really like tha format either...but shyt was still goin in my nigga
 
 
good shyt
 
 
 
 
 
 
HG)Sass
Back to Top
Rameez View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 31 July 2007
Location: Brampton, CDN
Status: Offline
Points: 3923

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 22-40-4
Form: NWWWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rameez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2012 at 4:39pm
good to see this place is getting bit active again.. never seen a layout like this before but when I read it, it flows well all the way.. gud stuff champion
Back to Top
Neek View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar
Super Mario Slaughterer

Joined: 05 October 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3152

Text Rank: #24
Stats: 2-1-0
Form: LWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 August 2012 at 4:53am

intro's nice... it's like ladies and gentlemen.. you bout to witness some stuff...
and if you're already confused.. the exit is that way...
you got your goggles and lab coats? sons about to kick science.

from this moment here -> Check the track record

I knew it was gonna get serious. the multiple references... the overall nature of it.

personally, I think with turning the scheme of your verse into the theme of your verse, was dope.

with that said.. I think this section is my favorite:

Resistance
Persistence
Insistence:
Hear what I say next
I will not be anything short of the greatest

Technical perfection
World leader
Still on track as the best ever
Call me Rudisha


this is when I was like.. look at this little guy.

honorable mention:



Last leg to go and I've made more motherfuckin' history than Jesse Owens
Haile Selassie won't try to surpass me



its dope. I told you as much, but I figured i'd let it breathe and maybe cats would check it out one more time.

#Bananas
Back to Top
-Orion- View Drop Down
Veteran
Veteran
Avatar

Joined: 08 April 2004
Location: DisturbinLondon
Status: Offline
Points: 9551
Crew: Renegades

Text Rank: #1
Stats: 90-4-1
Form: WWWWNW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Orion- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 August 2012 at 9:03pm
Thanks Jamal. I think 'cats' have had their fill for now, but thanks.
. . . Now who said they fuckin' with me?
They just said that FUCKIN' with me
They didn't mean it
Nah . . .
Back to Top
Kiki Spirez View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 30 December 2008
Location: Chesterfield
Status: Offline
Points: 4359
Crew: Kratos Kind

Text Rank: #4
Stats: 68-26-0
Form: WWWWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 August 2012 at 10:38pm
Is it lame to enjoy the structure more than the content and rhyming? 

Cos not taking away any of the sick lines or flow you had, but it was the different structure in this that was a big breath of fresh air to me. 

Keep around.
Back to Top
J504 View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 08 June 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 5385

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 25-0-0
Form: WWWWWW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 August 2012 at 10:43pm
Neek is like a 300 pound Flav.

Everybody needs a hype man.

#yeaboy
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down